Tony: It looks like this match has begun. And let me say, if Dr.
A was the first one in the ring, he would have started stomping on Chevalier
the moment he slid in. Chevalier at least gave the doc time to come in.
Harry: So what? That’s because Chevalier is a big wuss. You need
to use everything you can to your advantage.
Tony: And the two men hook up… the bout is under way.
Dr. A and Chevalier lock fists,
trying to power out the other, as Dr. A feels himself losing he unlocks his
knees and drops to the mat, sending Chevalier pushing forward.
Tony: Dr. Abortion drops and Chevs goes to the ropes. The doc
scurries out of the ring quickly. That didn’t take long. This match just begun
and he’s already wimping out.
The doc goes over to Ms. C and
the two share a few words. The doc then slides back in.
Tony: Chevalier with an offensive attack… he goes after the Doc,
he’s not going to let him slip out of his hands to easily this time.
Chevs does a slap to the chest
of the Doc from DC, not a closed fist – of course – because a closed fist would
be cheating. Lord knows a knight would never cheat.
Tony: Advantage: Chevalier… another slap, and now Dr. A is up
against the ropes. Chevalier grabs him… Irish whip…
The doc goes flying to the
other side of the ring. He bounces back.
Tony: Dr. A comes flying… he’s looking for a cross body-
Harry: Oof! That’s gotta hurt.
Chevy moves out of the way and
the doc misses, his chest connecting to the mat.
Tony: The doc has already taken quite a beating just a minute or
so in. He’s back up though. Both of these men will be fighting with a lot of
determination.
Dr. A and Chevs lock up again,
this time palms to shoulders, Dr. A jerks his knee up quickly into Chevalier’s
gut.
Tony: The medic with a knee to right above the belt… and even
that is arguable, Dr. A goes to the backside. [fill in gay joke]
Dr. Abs does a little swing
around and hooks up Chevs in a full nelson.
Tony: A hold right there… he
takes pride in submission and pain. The doc shows some of his technical abilities
when he has to.
Harry: That’s right Tony. See. Textbook full nelson. Dr. A is the
best.
Chevy begins to start
struggling out of it. The doc wastes no time and throws himself back, bridging
for a Full Nelson Suplex.
Tony: Dragon Suplex by Dr. A. He’s holding the bridge and the
ref goes down…
The ref counts to two, but
Chevalier breaks it and is released.
Tony: Close call there, the first cover of the match goes to
two.
Chevy picks himself up slowly
as Dr. A goes for some violent tactics.
Tony: OH! Clothesline there! And Chevalier goes right over the
top rope. I bet Dr. A is really proud of himself now.
Harry: It looks like it. See? He’s in the corner and is standing
on the bottom rope, showing off and posing.
Tony: If he thinks he can just waste time and pose, the doc has
some trouble lying ahead of him… the doc is sliding under the ropes now. He’s
out of the ring picking Chevalier up. He’s got him by the hair.
The ref looks down and starts
admonishing Dr. A, but he slams Chevy’s head against the ring-apron anyway.
Harry: See, that’s how you win matche-
Tony: Chevalier with a burst of strength! He’s not just going to
take it! WHOA! What a blow to Dr. Abortion! And the doc goes crashing to the
ground!
Ms. C looks on from the other
side of the ring, hands covering mouth.
Tony: And Chevalier is picking up Dr. Abortion, he’s sliding him
back into the ring – where this match belongs!
Harry: That’s no fun.
Tony: Chevalier back in control once again, a push off and Dr. A
goes back…
The Doc bounces off the ropes
for momentum.
Tony: Charging forward and… no… Hiptoss by Chevalier… Dr. A’s
face goes flying down to the mat. Dr. A needs to start getting acquainted with
the ring floor… it looks like he’s going to be down there a lot.
Harry: Wow, that’s quite some objective calling there, Tony.
Tony: Chevalier picks Dr. A up. The doc has got to be tired.
Chevy is holding the doc up… now he’s lifting him.
Chevalier holds Dr. A up
vertically in the air for a few moments, leaving the crowd ooo-ing and
ahhh-ing. Is he going for a Vertical Suplex or a Jackhammer though? Ah, you
know I’m a Suplex Mark.
Tony: And back the Doc goes… Suplex by Chevalier, making up for
the Doc’s.
Harry: Textbook suplex. They don’t look much better than that.
Tony: But will Chevalier get the pin? Here’s the cover…
The ref’s hand goes down once…
it goes down twice… goes dow- no… no it doesn’t.
Tony: Oh! How much closer does it get than that? That must have
been 2 and three-fourths! Maybe even higher.
Chevalier shakes his head, but
then grabs onto the doc and picks him up.
Tony: And both competitors are up… Dr. A pushes off… he’s going
to charge at him and- wait, here’s an Arm breaker…
After the allotted amount of
time, the ref tells Chevy to release the arm breaker, which he politely and
quickly does, because that’s what faces do.
Harry: Say, ever since the OVER took over the Spanish Announcer’s
table at the beginning of this card, I’ve been a little worried about job
security. I wonder what those guys are talking about over there.
Tony: I have no idea Harry, no idea.
6 feet away…
Daos: ZZzzzz…
Return: PSST… Dowse… Dowse!
Wake up man.
Daos: Huh? Oh. Sorry.
Return: I know it’s a Dr.
Abortion versus Chevalier match, and I know its boring, and I know no one cares,
but try to show some professionalism here.
Evolver: I am cool.
Daos: So have I missed anything?
Return: Of course not. We
haven’t even been calling the match. This move… that move… blahblah. I invented
moves, so I’m tired of seeing them.
Evo: Yeah Dowse, we’ve just been sitting here talking about how
much cooler we are than everyone else in this fed. The SHOW… is now OVER.
Return: I can talk in all caps,
JUST WATCH.
Daos: I don’t even see why you guys woke me up. Everything is
under control here.
Evo: Say guys, what channel are we broadcasting on anyway. I
want to see myself on the TV.
Daos: I’m sure Telemundo or some crap like that, we did
jack the Spanish table.
Return: The cameras for this
station shouldn’t even be on the match. They should just be looking at us. Fans
should hear us talking, and then watch us talking too.
Evo: My Shirt says “E” on it.
Daos: I know, mine says “V.”
Return: Say Evolver, what was
it like partnering with Dr. Abortion in that stupid ‘Battle Royale with Cheese’
match.
Evo: It blew, I carried Team Bonk!, because I am cool.
Daos: “Dowse”… “Dowse.” Not “Day-os”
Return: Nobody said anything.
Daos: I was just reminding people in case they forgot.