THE PAST, PRESENT & FUTURE
Since the time that I first set eyes on Louis de Pointe du Lac, my life has changed dramatically. There have been nights when I wonder what would have become of me, if it had not been for that fateful meeting. By now, I would have been in my middle age, perhaps even a father; but it is more likely that my inner demons would have destroyed me. Even now, there are times when the darkness overtakes me, pulling me deep into the misty forests of fear and loneliness.

Instead of a middle-aged mortal, I am now a vampire, young in my immortality and still learning my abilities... and all of this is thanks to my beloved Armand. We have spoken, my love and I, about that first fateful encounter and the time when he returned to my damp, cold cell,
with every intention of killing me.. And yet, he did not. My Dark Angel, with the countenance of a youth and the experience of centuries, let me live. . I think already a part of me loved him, even with his denial of that which I most desired. And so began our *game*. How did he ever tolerate me? My constant  flight from him, my self-destructive behaviour..And all because of that burning desire to be like him.. To be immortal and live with him for eternity.  Each small drop of his blood that he let me taste, drove me even closer to insanity and ecstacy.  A contradiction, you may say, but only to one who has not experienced the delirium.. Finally, when my mortal death would have parted us for ever, put an end to the love that we now shared, he relented and gave me the Dark Gift. It was a hard decision for him to make, having sworn never to bring another into the existance that he had come to abhor, and  yet it was that, or be separated for all time.

For two decades now, Armand has been my world. He is the sun that I can no longer endure on my immortal flesh . He is the moon that lights the night time for me. He is the sanctuary to which I flee when the darkness threatens to overtake me again, as it still does at times. He is my heart and my soul. We are two separate creatures who are not complete unless we are together. Ah, if I had the ability, I would write sonnets about our love.. volumes of prose  about the wonder that is Armand. Perhaps my few words here will have given you some idea of the depths of my feelings for him.

At the present, Lestat has drawn us all together; the entire extended family. For what reasons, I am not quite clear, other than to spread the word of our kind in this amazing medium.... to let those that have the curiousity, ask us questions. And as for me, I have my Armand. We are together again, reunited, and the love, if possible, seems to have grown deeper. The dark moments that still gnaw at my mind are dispelled when I seek him out and rest in the safety of his embrace. I recently brought him a white porcelain Pena dragon, trimmed in gold.. A strange gift? No, for he is my White Dragon. I belong to him completely and eternally.  Sometimes, the fear that he may make another fledgling eats at me, despite his words that I am, and always will be, his only one. How could I stand to share this wonder that he is, with anyone else? I see Lestat's fledgling vieing with each other for his attention and dread the thought that I could be in a similar position. That would be the one thing that could drive me to self destruction.

Strange how I started this place by saying I would not write much about Armand...and yet look!

But the others are here on this web too. The charismatic Brat Prince Lestat, who is the only one who could have drawn us all together like this. The beautiful Gabrielle, once Lestat's mother and now his child. Maharet, the Ancient one, wise and kind. Marius, Armand's maker, who finds this world very different. Louis of the emerald eyes, the most human of them all, whose words began this entire thing.. Nicolas, the tormented violinist, whose darkness sometimes overwhelms mine. Dennis, the sensualist, lost for so long but now reunited with Lestat. David, the calming influence. An English gentleman in a youthful body. Jessica, so vibrant and lovely, who brings joy as her companion. Pandora, whose quicksilver personality confounds even the adoring Marius.  And who knows how many more of our kind will be joining us? That is probably one of Lestat's many secrets.. And what will the future, our eternity, bring? Perhaps you should watch.... but don't come too close. Remember what we are...
I saw an angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.
Michelangelo
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