Greetings
to all DB's and their Wives - Heres this weeks interview with Week
3 Champion.
For next week we will have an interview with the winner plus
one randomly selected loser
DB::Welcome to This weks interview with Week 3 Champion......COOOOOCKKKKKBUUUUURRRNNNNNNSSSS
Cockburns:Thank You. Thank You.
DB::So Cockburns, how do you really feel to have kicked all those
Motha f^%$@#s DB's asses well and truly
Cockburns: Well, the first 2 weeks I was giving everybody a laugh.
Then, decided to kick butt.
DB: Q2. Since we all know you to be an hard-core cricket fan...doesnt
this win remind you of the one that Bangladesh had over Pakistan?
Cockburns: Not really. Its more like the Aussies coming to India
and F&*$#%g the Indians in their own backyard. Iam refering
to me coming to Deira from Jebel Ali, you know.
DB:: Q3. Oh!!!! You do know that the Aussies are white in Colour
and you are more on the burnt side?.... Anyway....One can always
dream.......Onto the next Question... What was your motivation/inspiration
to Perform and as you so eloquently put it 'Kick Butt'
Cockburns: Kill Kenny always motivated me, besides Mocktail &
Cashew did give me some helpful tips. My inspiration, as always,
is my wife. She knows what I can acheive. By & large,
at the end of it,from coming last the first 2 weeks, it felt great
to be on top. Much higher than my "GURUS" who gave me
some tips. Coming to the first part of yr Q, I know the Aussies
are white, just used that to make a point.
DB: Q4. Interesting choice of words...."By and LARGE"...."great
to be on top" However, getting back....You do know that no
DB has retained the trophy for more than 1 week?. DO you think that
there is tremendous pressure on you to perform? Will a bad performance
on the lanes have repercussions at home - Performance wise I mean?
Cockburns: Well, if you know me, then you will know that I perform
extremely well under pressure. And as far as repercussions at home
are concerned, I think, "Mocktail" must worry a bit, as
being the founding member and Wk 1 Champ, the recent numbers dont
say much.
DB: Q5. We have heard rumours that Cashew Vally has ben given an
ultimatum by his wife that this week she wants a podium finish for
him ...or else?.Do you think that this is unnecessary pressure the
wives exert on their DB's?
Cockburns: Well, thats for Cashew Vally to sort out his domestic
front. Cant say much, as I have a extremely understanding wife.
I also observed the glare "Mocktail" got when he returned
home during the last weeks bash. I hope he did get any of his bones
broken, cause it would further affect his performance, if you called
it performance, that is.
DB: Q6. What words of wisdom (One liners) could you give the following
DB's - so that their performance may improve: Cocktail, Mosambi,
Kill Kenny, Bev Da, Batli, Mocktail, Cashew Vally, Jack Daniels
Cockburns: Focus & Release. Thats the secret. Most of all BELEIVE
IN YOURSELVES F^&%$#RS.
DB:
Q7. When you say 'Focus and Release' - do you mean to say that
you suffer from 'PE'.....Just want to clear all doubts?
Cockburns:
I thought this interview was abt BOWLING.
DB:
Q8. We'll take that as a YES'....Aslo since you brought up the
topic of Under Achievers...your Game Average is 122...basically
at the bottom...How the F@$# will you ever get it to something
respectable.....And this is with a Handicap too???
Cockburns:
The coming weeks and the numbers will talk. I suggest "MOCKTAIL"
must get some lessons on BOWLING & DRIVING. Just noticed some
nsty scratches on 3 of the 4 edges of his car. Got the intial
impression that his bowling is as good as his driving.
DB::Q9.
With regards to your 'understanding Wife', the DB's do have proof
that she wanted you to quit (as you were not performing) to take
up another 'Extreme Sport' played at the 'Trojan Games'...What
do you have to comment on that?
Cockburns:
Well, that was a ploy to give your under acheivers a HOPE that
everyone of you F&^%$#S can WIN. Can't beleive you'll bought
it.
DB:Q11
Hmmm!!!! seems that every DB and their wives are after Mocktail...and
reasons why that should be so?
Cockburns:
I guess "MOCKTAIL" just has this natural tendency to
bring out the best in all, expecially the DB's wives.
DB:
Q12. What do you have to comment on the request of Cashew Vally
to have the following rule implemented for next week..... The
Winner of the previous week should bowl with Mosambi for the next
week
Cockburns:
I have no problems bowling with Mosambi, as his last weeks average
is better than "MOCKTAIL", the one who gave me tips
on how to improve.
DB:
Q13. Apart from yourself..who do you think will be the DB to watch
out for next week?
Cockburns:
All DBs except "MOCKTAIL", cause everyone else seems
to be improving.
DB:
Q14. Last week, Bev Da stated that the DB bash had saved his marriage,
can you say the same about yours?
Cockburns:
Read my earlier answers you CH#*. I have stated clearly, how supporting
my wife is.
DB:
Q15. We noticed that you increased your Ball size from a Lesbian
10 to a more manly 11....Why?... Does this mean a new change of
Undies for you also?
Cockburns:
Well, if my bowling average with a 11 can kick butt, can you imagine
what will be the case if I decided to increase on that aspect.
I would like to give all, especially "MOCKTAIL" a slow
death.
DB:
Q16...My, My...arent we getting a little irate now....the pressures
of fame have got to you..Tsk! Tsk!...Anyway, couple of more questions
and we are done
Cockburns:
Make is soon, as I have other interviews in line.
DB:
Q17. Where do you think should the finals of the DB bash be held?
Cockburns:
Al Nasr or Ajman Kemp, as they serve beers there.
DB::
Q18. Lastly, What will the effect of your win have over property
prices in Dubai?
Cockburns:
Well, they are linked, cause I am expecting BOWLING crazy spectators
coming to Dubai to watch us bowl. Hence, would think that they
would shop around for property in the spare time, whilst in Dxb.
Thus kicking up the prices, due to demand.
DB:
Thank you Cockburns, that was a great interview...all our fans
have really been waiting for this one...Good Luck to you and all
the DB's for next week...which incidentally is on Wednesday at
1900 Hrs.....at DBC...Be there or be left out....
Cockburns:
Thank You. And Look Forward to Kicking Ass once again.
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