Twas a hard day for Nicholas for at age 15 he started his first day of high school. His life was pretty normal and he had no more run ins with any ninjas. He Bob and Tristan remembered nothing. Josh had no recollection of assisting them blend in with the new culture of America.
Nick sat down at a desk and looked out the window. Over at the elementary school he saw a line of kids walking to the Y , but whats this? a familiar face. Jason walks by. "Holy fuck!! where have I seen him before?" Mr. Gorey's face turns red. "Ok , ok , can we stop saying the preverbial fuck." He squats down and waves his hands in the air "city on the hill , city on the hill , EUTOPIA!!!!!" The bell rings and Nick goes to his next class.
Mr. Tostevin walks by everyone , looking down all the girl's shirts. "Ok , lets take out our math books." He sits on one girls desk and looks down her shirt and loses concentration. "Everyone turn to page tit." Nick's mind races. Where had he seen that kid before. THE DOCK!! He remembered that day and his fight with the seagulls. He remembered the mysterious ninja moves he did. Jason shows up outside the window and the two nodd. Jason mouths the words "you remember?" Jason pulls his lip down to show a tattoo and Nick thinks he's making faces and flips him off. Mr. Tostevin looks over and stands up. "What are you doing?" "What are you doing , ya fuckin pervert?" Tostevin has a huge boner. " To the office." Nick grabs his face. "Don't fuck with a ninja."
Fat Jack looks to Nick. "Hung over I have .Out room you go" He begins crying and sits in a corner. Nick turns away. "Oaky doak." After he leaves Jack's face turns to an evil smile. "Ninja , i'm on to you. " Jack picks up the phone and calls the elementary school. "Get me the snake twins"
Nick goes to his last class , Mrs. Mckenna. Nick needs time to think and quickly distracts the teacher. "What do you think about teenage pregnancy?" "Hmm , Lets see . . ." Nick laughs. That'll keep the bitch busy for a half hour. He thinks to himself , why do I know ninja moves , what connection am i with that ninja kid , why is that man masturbating? Mr. Tostevin is in the bushes looking into the window and cuffing his carrot. He sees Nick and runs away. Mrs. Mckenna has finished. "so wait to have children." "What about smoking?" "Oh geez , don't , let me tell you a story." Nick goes back to thinking.
Nick walks outside after school. Two little girls come up to him. Kara looks to Lynnette "he's a high schooler , he can help us cwoss the stweet" "Yes , " says LL , "We need help" Lynnette holds Kara's hand. "Help us cwoss da stweet." Nick smiles. "Thats cute!" Kara looks at LL. "I think shes a dyke." "Am not , you're a dyke" "whats a dyke?" Nick holds their hands but as soon as they are out of sight LL kicks Nick back. Kara uppercuts him. "Beware the snake twins!!" They pull out tacs and make ninja poses. Nick tries to fight back but is no match and poked several times. "OWWWWW!!!" The two beat the living shit out of him. Kara stands atop him. "Have you forgotten all your twaining?" LL is in a tantrum "I wanna fight , hes a pussy , he's no ninja!" Kara kicks him and feels sympathy."You are not the gweat one we've heard of. When you heal and master your art we will meet again." The two ninjasblow bubble gum and skip away across the street. Kara is struck by a car and flung through the wind shield. LL is scared. "I told you we can't cwoss a stweet by ourselves."
Nick is on the ground as Jason helps him up. "Those were the infamous snake twins. You must be careful." "Who are you?" "Jason , and I will help you remember your ninja ways , for that is the only way to defeat them. Lucky for you the snake twins live by a code of honor and will not fight unless they deem the opponent worthy. Be careful especially of Kara , I really hate her. I bet she has koodies too , bitch!" A woman grabs Jason and pulls him away and washes his mouth with soap. "I said witch mom , I said witch!!!" Nick cries out as he's dragged away. "What do they want from me?" "We will meet again Nicksan , look to your lower lip for the answers. I will contact you soon enough."
Nick , Bob , Tristan , Kev , Josh and Jimmy are joined in a room in Tristan's house. Nick shows the people his lip and its revealed that both Bob and Trsistan have the same mark. Kev , Jimmy and Josh are jealous because they are not ninjas. Josh shrugs. "We would be better gansters anyways." "Yeah " , agrees Kev and Jim.
Nick looks for the sign on the internet and sees porn. "EWWWWW , People are having sex!!!" He clicks off and sees the sign. "Oh my , we are highly ranked Ninjas" He looks up the Snake twins and gasps. "No one can beat them. They're flannel ninjas!!" "You can beat them , it is your destiny" Everyone turns around to see Jason. Tristan is curious. "How'd you get in here." "It was easy , I killed your parents , our secrets safe." "Oh , ok." "Listen guys , a war is coming and its hard to tell for sure who is and is not a ninja. The eastcoast ninja pimps and the flannel ninjas are destined to fight. Nick is the chosen one who will lead the eastcoastninjapimps to victory." "Why are they fighting?"
Jason makes everyone sit down. "Listen and listen well for it is a long story that I will only tell once. Everyone was a member of the eastcoast ninja pimps until one ninja master was watching the superbowl with another ninja master. The ninja master accidently reached over for the chips and touched the others hand. That ninja called him a faggot and it made him really mad so he got his friends together and formed the flannel ninjas , the toughest group of ninjas around and with the almighty snake twins as enforcers. To this day flannel ninjas still think all other ninjas are a bunch of dinks."
Nick is surprised."but it was an accident." Jason just shrugs. "But isn't it in human nature for people to hate and despise each other for ridiculous reasons What about skin color or sexual preference or , ok you can't help but make fun of the ethiopeans , look at me i'm starving hahaha!! but anyhoo its a horrible world and people have got to love one another and stop this hate filled existance." Sorry everyone I'm trying to get an oscar nodd. And the winner is . . . .LORD OF THE RINGS . . . .Nick takes off his tux and runs to the stage. "Fuckers!! where's your peace loving speech?!! He throws Peter Jackson in the audience. AGHHHHHHH!!!!! SON OF A BITCH!!! Nick is shot with a tranguilizer.
Meanwhile fat Jack goes to Nick's house and chats it up with his father. "Do you hate your son?" "Of course , the fucker doesn't even wanna lobster and is agitated when i go into a random tempertantrum about nothing. What the fuck?" "Hmmmm , interesting. Say , would you like to be a flannel ninja? Wahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!" "Do I have to suck your dick?" "No" "Oh , please don't make me suck your dick!" "I won't" "Anything but that , I don't want to suck it" "Than don't." "Just don't make me , don't force me" He gets down on his knees. "Ummmm" "Do I have to do it?" He winks at Jack. Jackgets nervous and leaves.
Jason looks to everyone. "Like I said the flannel ninjas want a fair fight and know you're not ready , it will be several years before they attack again" "What do we do til than . . . "
The party lasted on well in too the night and Kev did the pot dance. "Pot pot!!! we're gonna do pot!!! WEEEEEEE!!" Nick does the worm thats ,"Thats how a fuckin' ninja does it , baby!!!" Jason tries to give Jimmy a drink but he refuses. "Ewww I never touch the shit."
Nick walks outside by himself for a moment and contemplates. "Why me? Why must I carry this burden?. Jesus Christ!!" The sky parts and Jesus steps out. "Ok , man , this joke was overused in the last script." "sorry , but . .why , why am I the one." "I don't fuckin know , do I look like God? No , I'm the son. Hey guess what people? Maybe jesus does know all the shit their is to know about everything." "Hey , fuck you!!" "No , fuck you and your stupid movies." "You jealous cuz gentleperv's beating the passion." "Thats it fucker!!" Everyone forms a circle as Nick and Christ square off. Jesus puts up a good fight but all of a sudden Nick does a hurricane kick and knocks Jesus back. Nick is in shock. Jesus gets up shaken. "Aghh , you are a ninja!!" Jason smiles. "Yes and soon he will become strong enough to take on the flannel!!"