Gentleperv and friends stand around a firecracker. The perv speaks. "Howdy , aparently enough of you spoke up to get a sequel in the works. What we've wanted to do here is surpass the original and just go all out. Fuck some shit up and raise hell. YEAHHHHHHH!! Welcome to Gentleperv 2:A Love Story." He gives the devil horn salute than everyone runs for cover and jumps just as the explosive goes off. There are a few little sparks. Everyone gets up with huge smiles , the laugh and give each other high fives. "Fuckin right man." Lynnette isn't impressed. "Can we try that again?" Everybody is mad , they already went in the hole for the budget with that explosive. They find a few pennies and get another one. Kev hold up the explosive and lights it , it fizzles to nothing. He stands there with the useless thing. Suddenly the sky darkens and a crack of thunder is heard. Perv looks around with a dreaded suspicious. "I have a feeling we'll get that big opening." Christina Aguilera walks by and quickly closes her legs. "Fuck you , I am not a slut" Sudenly the explosive starts up again. . .
Kev explodes , everybody is flung back 50 feet , a sonic boom levels some building. Heavy metal starts playing. Lynnette , Savannah and Kara are dressed up like slutty rockstar cheerleaders. They start grinding on each other and groping. A huge circle of fire surrounds everyone. Santa Clause dukes it out with the easter bunny in a boxing match. Barbrady Tristan is surrounded by 10 gorgeous girls , he winks at the camera. Meanwhile ninjas are doing insane flips everywhere . A disco ball drops and everyone dances like hell. Smoke rolls as Satan pops his head up and lights a bong. An army of penguins marches by and carries off Bob , kicking and screaming. Nick turns around and smiles. "Welcome to my movie . . ."
CHAPTER 1 : Hell isn't good
Nick is in a daze. He opens his eyes and sees himself still at the mall where the massacre took place. He still lies atop Savannah. He looks at her just as her eyes flash open. Blood pours out of her mouth. He gets up in shock as the blood covers the whole room. Savannah's body dissolves into nothing. "JESUS CHRIST!" Jesus walks by. "Fuckin hell , they'll give goddamn P diddy free fuckin clothes everywhere but I don't even get a discount on sandals? The big J? The only son of the one? Fuck this." He walks away.
Nick runs out of the room but trips into a pile of guts. He thrashes about but can't find a grip. Finally he gets up and looks around. TVs fill up with blood and explode , everything falls apart. The blood covers the floor and touches his feet than rises and covers him.
He screams out but finds himself now in a different place. A completely white world with a mirror nearby. He looks into it as his reflection changes into that of Evilperv. Nick steps back just as the glass shatters. Evilperv rushes and tackles Nick. Nick quickly takes a glass shard and shoves it into his eye. Evil perv drops to the ground as Nick rises. "I'll just kill you again." Evilperv begins crying like a girl. Long redhair grows out and covers his face. "How could you? How could you do that to me? You used to love me , or did you forget? YOU FORGOT ABOUT ME!! " He brushes his hair back as Nick falls back in shock. "KAREN!" She slams her fist through his chest. He looks up again but she's changed again , Ginny stands above him , hand covered in blood. "How ya doin?" She laughs. Nick gets up and punches her across the face but its Lynnette who hits the ground. "You could have saved me. Now I burn in hell!!" Nick's confused. "Fuck this!" He runs for it but an army of little people block his path. "What the fuck?! Midgets?" One of them gives him the finger. "Fuck you , the correct term is oompaloompas" They tie him down as Lynnette stands atop him. "You've got a bad case of the mondays , the mondays , the mondays , bad case of the mondays." "God , thats anoying!" "Fishizzle my nizzle." "AGHHHHH!" She than reaches in back down her pants. Nick is surprised. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" She pulls out a brown finger. "I believe its called dirty sanchez" "NOOOOO!!!" The finger gets closer to his face.
Ben suddenly apears out of nowhere. "Nick wake up , its useless , you can't kill her." "WHAT?" "nick , you have to wake up now , you're dead. Realize it." "Dead?" He shakes his head and looks around again. He sees his body still atop Savannah. Nick quickly fights through the midgets and knocks Lynnette off him. He goes over to his body. Ben joins him. "You gotta get up man , wake up." Police walk in. Ben talks to him again. "They can't see us." "Really?" He picks up Savannah and makes her dance. The police are dumbfounded as shes hovering above the air. Nick moves her lips." Nick is the fuckin man . He knows how to please a woman. Oh my sexy little jackhammer. Give it to me til its squirtin out my ears" Ben shakes him. "Wake up!"
The room is engulfed in flames as Nick falls through the ground , seemingly falling forever. "OH MY GOD!! I'M IN JENNA JAMESON!" He all of a sudden slams into the ground. He takes a look around ,, all of his friends are there surrounded in flames. Tristan speaks up. "Welcome to hell." "We all went to hell?" "Yep , Ben woke us up , he was the only one who went to heaven ,we have to get out before they realize we're not stuck in our nightmares." Lynnette goes over to hug Nick but he screams like a girl "Let me see your fingers!" "Jesus!! what did you dream of?" Jesus walks by. "I was fightin the antichrist right? Ok , and he's like I'm the end of the world and shit like that and I was like badaboom and cast a spell on him , haha fuckers got chicken pox. You can't get chicken pox more than once? Hey i'm Christ , I can do shit like that." Bob sits in a corner terrified. "I was playing a game and . . . and . . . I couldn't find the last power up and and . . . and" He chokes up.
Ben stands before them "Listen up , I'm a messenger. You've been awaken to carry out a task , complete the task and you get free passage in to heaven no matter what. Heres the thing . . . " BIG RED SUBTITLES FLASH ACROSS THE SCREEN : "PAY ATTENTION" "The leader of Heaven's army has been chosen. Somehow hell found out and they're looking for him on earth so its up to you guys to find him and kill him so he can immediately be sent to heaven and start the holy wars. He's a preacher and well it wouldn't look good for an angel to kill em , you guys will be sent back to earth in your old bodies. Do you accept?" Everyone agrees.
Savannah joins Nick's side. Nick smiles at her. "Hello precious" "Hello my hot Nicky!" Nick gets a little shy. "Do you remember anything after you were possessed?" "Why?" "Well . . . you kissed me." She looks at him with shock. "I did?" Nick lowers his head and puts on a puppy dog face. She smiles and wraps her arms around him , kissing his cheek. Everyone goes "awwww" Just than the teleportation begins and everyone disapears.
Everyone wakes up in a parking lot. Tristan , Josh , Nick , Bob , Kev , Jimmy , Ben , Savannah , Lynnette , Kara and Jason are there. Nick looks down at his hands he's wearing nail polish. A pool of water is nearby so he sees his reflection. Meanwhile Savannah screams. "COCK!! I HAVE A COCK!!" Savannah and Nick have switched bodies. Nick screams and runs into a nearby bathroom. "OH MY GOD!!" He runs out and grabs a cucumber and runs back to the bathroom. "YAHOO!!"
Tristan sees a bus full of crippled people pull up. He throws them out and smiles. "Still going to heaven. wahahahaha" Everyone gets in. Nick sits in the back jumping up and down loving everytime the bus hits a bump. He rubs his chest. "Multiple orgasms!!" Kev and Josh turn to him "We were wondering . . . can we see em? " "They're mine!!" Savannah shouts back "They're mine!!" "Don't worry I'll be good to it. What did you eat by the way? My tummy hurts. I have cramps." Savannah quickly grabs his hand and stops the bus. They run to the bathroom as Nick is traumatized.
Tristan gets out and pisses . . . on a church. "Still going to heaven wahahahah.!" Bob laughs along with him. A few small kids walk by. They tie em up and pore them with gasoline. "Still going to . . . " They change their mind. "Just because we can doesn't mean we should." "Yeah" They release them. "Sorry bout that." Meanwhile heaven has fixed its mistake and switched Savannah and Nick back. Savannah is aching. "My pussy hurts" Nick throws the cucumber behind him.
The group gets back on the bus but blow a tire in the middle of a forest. They get out and go to the nearest house. A woman with pale skin and short black hair greats them. She looks like a fairytale come true. "Hi , come in." Everybody is seated around a small room. Beer cans and a bong lie in the middle of the room. Sex toys are scattered everywhere. 7 dwarves walk in. More people come in as a party starts. Kev sproaches her. "Why do they call you snow white?" "Thats what my face is after the gang bang" Meanwhile sneezy is snorting coke and sniffing gasoline. Bashful is passed out on the floor naked. Dopey is . . . use your imagination. Grumpy is in the basement with a s&m leather mask on , naked men are chained to the wall. He angrily snaps a whip at them. Happy has a huge boner , he chases Lynnette around the house. "AGHHHHH OOMPALOOMPAS!!" Snow White grabs Kev and Nick's hand. "Ever tried double penetration?" Nick quickly leaves. Snow white looks to Kev. "I guess its one on one tonight . . . unless" Cinderella gets done with her choirs and joins them.