Josh rests his hands on Nick's shoulder. "You okay G?" "I really don't know , maybe I'm going crazy . . . I thought most of you guys had died , luckily Dr. Quinn fixed everyone up . . .and reattached some people's heads and . . .Josh , I'm not gonna even pretend I have a reasonable exscuse for people coming back for the third film." "Yeah , lets just say Soap Opera rules , no death is final."
Kara goes over to a snack bar. Kevin eats a cheesestick. "Is that the last one?" Kevin nodds. "Yup." Kara slaps him hard across the face. "You conniving bitch!!" The two stare each other down as the screen fades to black.
Nick feels a bit woozy. "Listen guys , I'm gonna take off for now. Maybe I'm just stressed about things. Nothings ever gonna be the same again , people move , people grow up . . .I just want the old times back." Nick waves goodbye and rubs Lynnette's 5 month old tummy. "Bye bye little one."
As soon as Nick steps outside he hears a voice. "Play with meeeeeeeee." "Maeve!!" He turns around but sees noone. "I don't care if you look like a baby dolphin severley beat with a tire iron , show yourself!!" He looks down and sees a puddle of water coming from a door. Nick slowly goes to the door and opens it , inside is a TV playing a grain black and white scene of a well. Nick hears Maeve panting loudly as we close up on the TV. "Help I fell behind this fucking TV!" Maeve crawls out from behind the TV and turns off the PBS special on famous wells. Nick is scared shitless as if he was a child dangling from a balcony by Michael Jackson , who might I add because of his celebrity status is legally allowed to have sex with children and will never get charged unless he gets caught in the middle of court , on tape , muffling the words "Does this 8 year old dick in my mouth make me look like a pediphile"
The gentleperv takes to the staircase and stumbles down , bloody and bruised but runs to the car and bolts it. On the road he accidently drives a car off the road. A man and 5 year old daughter drive by and the man smiles and points to the crash site. "Look honey , someone just died." He pinches her cheek.
An officer sees Nick drive by in a hurry. He immediately pursues with back up but Gentleperv is going to fast. "We need help!!" One by one the cops raise their fists to the air , their power rings glowing. "Wind" "Water " "Heart!" An orb zooms through the sky. "With your powers combined I am Leif Garrett." Former child teen idol Leif Garrett is in a police uniform and on the pursuit of the gentleperv. Nick laughs and crosses county line and steps out. "Haha , looks like you fellas are out of your jurisdicti . . ." A cop car from another county pulls up on his other side. "GODDAMMITTT!!"
Leif tries to handcuff Nick who just falls on his face in a drunken stupor. "I have to pee." He takes his pants off than slams his face against the cop car so he doesn't fall over. He starts to tuck it between his legs. "I'm . . . I'm gonna p on my butt . . . GUYS , . . .GUYS!! I'm . . I'm gonna pee on my butthole . . . I'm going to pee in my butthole." Leif is agitated. "You can't . . . Well okay I'm a little curious." Leif takes his pants off and tucks his dick between his legs. "I'm a girl , I'M A GIRL AND I'M GOING TO PEE ON MY BUTT " They both giggle. Nick shakes his head and comes to and sees the officer with the tuck going on. "You , you're a . . . what are you a fuckin' houdini?" Nick runs in horror and falls on his face.
Leif takes Nick into the courthouse and picks up the phone. He calls Jimmy. "Sorry if I was an ass at the party , anyways I'm in jail now. I got an IOU" "An OUI?" "Whatever Yoda. Anyways I'll only be held here for 15 hours , I'll see you guys around. Bye."
Jimmy looks to everyone. "Nick's in jail , they're holding him for 15 hours. Lynnette and Kara stand up "Jail!! We'll get him out. Snake twins unite!!" "Ummm . . . seriously , its 15 hours . . ." Kara starts making drawing boards . Bob chimes in and lifts a quarter. "Ass before prison . . . " he holds up a donut "after prison . . . we need to get him out." Noon points to a section before the main door. "Kara what is that?" "We'll have to get past the drawbridge which will no doubt be up and the water around the jail must be at least 15 feet deep." Lynnette stares at Kara for a moment. "Its a jail Kara there's no moat." "That is the strength of our enemy , assuming we don't believe they have one."
Noon pulls an arsenal of weapons out of his beard. "If we have to kill every goddamn last cop there we'll get him out." Jimmy is getting nervous. "Guys , I'm sure he'll be alright." Kara walks up in a wetsuit and oxygen tank. "Lets do this!" Lynnette is frustrated. "Kara there's no goddamn drawbridge!"
Nick is locked in a jailcell. He slams at the bars. "I'm an American , you can't do this. Fuck you , you washed up hasbeen , I'll fuckin . . . " Nick silences himself as a huge shadow covers him. He turns around and gulps. Shuge Night stares him down. "Hello little man , do you wanna be the mommy or daddy?" Nick starts sweating profoundly. "I'll . . . I'll be the daddy." "Okay than . . . come suck your mommy's dick!" Nick runs back to the bars. "Get me the fuck out of here!!"
Leif laughs. "He's harmless , he only fucks pigs. He likes when they squeel. " "Boy pigs or girl pigs?" Shuge is deeply offended. "Girls , I aint no faggot!!" They both start laughing. Shuge rests his hand on Nick's shoulder. "I'm sorry man , you're on Def Jam punked." Nick cries a little. "Good one."
Leif takes Nick to his real jail cell. Another huge man sits quietly. Leif comforts Nick. "He's harmless unless you touch him. " "Thats good." Nick sits next to the man for 20 minutes but is so curious. His finger involuntarily moves toward the man but Nick restrains it.The finger moves out again but Nick bites it. "Huh . . . just . . just kidding" Leif comes by with food. Nick grabs it and hands it to the inmate. "Here you go" At the pass off The Gentleperv rubs the mans hand on purpose to sneak a touch but their is no response. Nick sweats profoundly but the man turns his back and starts to read a book. Nick slowly reaches out with a stick than gets scared and throws it. Hours pass and gentleperv is nearly going insane. He sits on the toilet seat and bites his fingernails. The inmate is still reading. Nick loses it and runs up to the man and slaps him in the back of the head hard than screams like a girl and runs to a corner. The big man is enraged and walks over to Nick who is screaming for his life. "MOMMY!!!!!!!!"
Leif walks into a training room to see Maeve in her wheelchair. He's surprised at first and involuntarily screams out. "Half aborted mutant!" Than quickly covers his mouth. Maeve smiles. "Plans are going accordingly , the Gentleperv really thinks we're after him."
Maeve jumps up and grabs a chinup bar , her little nubs of feet maddly kicking with each pull. She wheezes and sweats. " Gotta pump up." Leif looks away. "Oh God its sweating!!" Maeve looks over to Leif. "Soon his friends will come and than I'll get what I want . HA *wheeze* HA *wheeze* HA *shits* HAHAHA!!"
STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT EXCITING CHAPTER
CHAPTER 2: THE ORIGIN OF MAEVE
The group head out to an abandoned building near the prison , their base of operations for save Gentleperv's ass. Upon reaching the building and peering out through the binoculars Lynnette is shocked. The jail is actually surrounded by water with a draw bridge up , like a castle.