| When I return . . . |
| . |
| As I tread on this road today, |
| wondering if I will ever come back again, |
| not sure if I want to or not, |
| it has sure been a longtime, |
| a long journey, |
| to a far off destination, |
| and with clouds low on me, |
| and no rainbows to follow, |
| I have still kept going so long. |
| Now when I let go of the past, |
| the nostalgia I have hung onto forever, |
| I wonder if life can ever be the same, |
| can I return to the world, |
| as the same soul, |
| who sought so much, |
| yet wanted so less, |
| after so many times, |
| of going away and coming back, |
| I don’t know now if I am leaving or arriving, |
| but I think and I feel, |
| its about time, |
| time to let go, |
| time to let lose, |
| time to admit, |
| time to accept, |
| so many things I have tried to deny all along, |
| and so long, |
| yes I was a dreamer, |
| an idealist they call me, |
| I worshipped miracles, |
| I sought originality, |
| and in so much I witnessed, |
| I forgot to recognize, |
| who I really am, |
| what I really want, |
| what I might really need, |
| now when I close my eyes, |
| I don’t know what to dream off, |
| when I try to prostrate, |
| I don’t know what to ask for, |
| but after the tables have turned, |
| and the dust of prejudice lifting, |
| I find courage enough, |
| to acknowledge for once, |
| You do not lose all you do not get, |
| and you hold not all that you see around you, |
| I was blind, |
| yes for so many years, |
| I was blinded, |
| by none other, |
| but my own self, |
| and staring in the mirror today, |
| turning to look back at my shadow, |
| I gasp no more, |
| I find no more the alien I refused to embrace always, |
| yes this is me, |
| the me I denied, |
| the me I ran away from, |
| but with arms wide open, |
| I hold so close, |
| the savior to whom I denied, |
| my own being always, |
| yes I am here, |
| I am here old friend, |
| to meet again with the self within, |
| and as I step forward, |
| I feel in the haze, |
| the light of a new day, |
| the clouds fading away, |
| the return of my own self, |
| and I am so glad, |
| and so relieved, |
| to feel my burdens lightened, |
| by none other but me, |
| and none other but me. |