Parents who care about their children can help them with this process by keeping in mind a few dos and don'ts.

DO:

1. Reassure the children that they will be safe, sheltered, and cared for.
2. Keep the parental role. Be an adult, the kids will find that reassuring.
3. Tell them that they are loved and wanted.
4. Be sure that they understand that the breakup was not their fault.
5. Encourage the kids to express their feelings about the breakup in safe ways.
6. Stay healthy yourself. Get plenty of rest, exercise nutrition, and support.

DON�T:

1. Make any unnecessary changes. Keep as much stability as possible in daily routines and especially in rules, bedtimes, discipline styles, and socializing.
2. Talk badly about the other parent, their lifestyle or their new partner. Children deserve to be free of the parents' feuds; they have a tough enough job already.
3. Lead them to believe in (or hope for) a reconciliation that isn't likely to happen.
4. Threaten children with abandonment.
5. Talk through the children. They aren't couriers they are kids. Send your messages through your lawyers or friends, if you cant talk to each other. They aren't spies either.
6. Ask them to be your best friend, sounding board, therapist or confidante. Those roles are for friends and professionals.

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