Chapter 12
The cool tingling feeling that comes only from being numb engulfed Isaac. He knew when he came home that the house was eerily silent and Taylor was out, which is an event that was rare lately. He had not been home long when the phone rang. His aunt recounted for him all the horrible details of the evening and asked in a pleading voice if Isaac would call Zac for her; she could not bear to have to tell this story again. Isaac did so, and Joe�s father said he would bring Zac to the hospital.
As Isaac sat blindly on the couch, groping for some way to feel, it occurred to him for the first time that Taylor might die. The shock of the news made Isaac forget that just because one did not die immediately did not mean that they would not die at all. Isaac wished he and Taylor had not had that fight; now Taylor might die before Isaac got the chance to apologize for being a so cruel and to tell him that he loved him.
Isaac thought of another person who needed to be with Taylor; Dawn. Isaac was not sure what Taylor and Dawn had fought about, but surely it could not have been so severe that she would not care about what was happening now. They were best friends, and everyone knew that they were in love with each other, even if neither one of them had the courage to confess. Isaac knew that he had to call her. He knew she would want him to call her.
So he took another deep breath and prepared to repeat the most painful words he had ever spoken, for a second time that hour.
�That sounds like a really cute movie,� Dawn asked, �Do you want to go see it?�
�Sure, sounds alright with me,� Eric smiled.
Dawn picked up her jacket and the phone rang. She glanced at the Caller ID and her heart leapt into her throat. The seven digits on the digital screen were a combination that had not appeared there in a long time.
�Don�t pick it up,� Eric called to Dawn from the door.
�Eric, I have to, it�s Taylor.�
Eric groaned and Dawn picked up the cream colored receiver, �Hello.�
�Dawn?�
�Isaac?�
�Yeah Dawn, it�s me, I�m so glad I caught you at home,� Isaac sighed.
�Well I was just on my way out the door, what�s up?�
�I know that you and Taylor are not on speaking terms right now, but I had to call you.�
Dawn felt a sharp throbbing pain in her chest at the mention of Taylor�s name, �That�s right, I have not spoken to him in weeks, so what is this about?�
�Dawn,� Isaac said quietly, �He tried to kill himself tonight.�
Dawn began to cry, �Oh God.�
�I did not think that the fight you had would be enough to keep you two apart at a time like this, that�s why I called. He needs you.�
Dawn whimpered quietly into the phone, �What hospital is he at?�
�Saint Johns, I�m going there right now. Do you want me to pick you up?�
�Please��
�Be there in a few.�
Dawn, blinded by tears, grabbed her jacket and ran outside, completely forgetting Eric was even there, until he put a hand on her shoulder.
�What happened?� he asked softly.
�Taylor tried to commit suicide.�
�Oh�and they called you because.�
�Because I am his best friend.�
�Dawn,� he sighed, �I thought things were over between the two of you.�
�Eric, he might die, and he is still my best friend, regardless of what he thinks of me.�
�Dawn, that�s childish. He doesn�t care about you; he is not the same guy anymore.�
Tears trickled down Dawn�s cheeks, �Eric, I am not asking you to come to the hospital with me, but I need to, I want to be there for him.�
�And what about us?�
�What do you mean �what about us�?�
�How many times is he going to come between us?�
Dawn could not believe what she was hearing, �Eric, this is not the time to ask that��
�The way I see it, this is some huge test Dawn, you told me you were putting him out of your life! Here�s your chance,� he said gesturing to the car pulling up in the driveway, �Put him out of your life.�
Dawn took a step toward the car, �Good-bye Eric.�
�If you go now, it�s over between us.�
�Eric,� she said taking a deep breath, �Regardless of whether I was going now, or not, it was over between us. You don�t care about me enough to let me do what I need to do, and I don�t care about you enough to lose him. Good-bye, now Eric.�
The beep of the heart-rate monitor was deafening in room four-eighteen. If the occupant of the room listened closely the incessant beeping of the monitor rose and fell with the clap of the respirator in a symphonic melody, but he could hear nothing.
Dawn could not believe how fragile Taylor looked. She had never seen him that way, and it was frightening. His body was limp like a wilted daisy and his skin matched the pure white of its petals. Never in a million years did she imagine that she would ever look upon him this way. She knew, from talking to his doctor that below the flimsy blue and white dressing gown were a hundred angry red scars, all of them, self inflicted, on a body wracked with bulimia. There were unexplained bruises on the back of his legs. The doctor could tell they were a week or two old, but he could not tell where they came from.
Dawn was the only one who knew about the bruises. Dr. Douglas did not want to worry Diana and Walker further with something that he could not explain; he told Dawn, hoping she could explain them, but she could not. Dr. Douglas photographed them though, keeping them on file, just in case.
She looked once again at Taylor�s fragile form and wished she could talk to him, just one more time.
�Taylor,� she whispered, hoping that the theory that unconscious people could still hear was true, �It�s me, Dawn, and I don�t know if you can hear me right now, or if you even want to hear me right now, but I just wanted to tell you that I am sorry for everything, for our fight and for Eric, and for not seeing sooner, or not letting myself see sooner, what was wrong. I wish you had come to me, but I guess you felt I was a million miles away�and I was, but I�m here now and I need to tell you that I�m sorry, and that I love you. Much more than you ever realized. Much more than I ever let you know. So much more. We all love you Taylor, and you can�t die. Not now. I need you, and I want you to need me. I want to be there Taylor. I want to have you here to love for the rest of my life, and I will help you, and accept you, no matter what, so please, please, don�t die.�
The last words that fell from her lips collide with the first tears that fell from her eyes as she took his icy, pale hand in hers, and kissed the tip of his finger.