He is survived by his son, Fugit time the Second
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| Father Time is always pictured as an old bearded fellow. Does time actually age? If so, perhaps one day we'll read this obit in the paper | |||||||||
| Father Time is Dead | |||||||||
| Fugit (Father) Time, mythical symbol of temporal mechanics, died in his Coon Rapids home Tuesday. Time, who was 8,232,345,895, was born in the incredibly hot and dense ball of matter that exploded to create the galaxy, and was best known for inventing the sequential means of arranging events. In an interview with Newsweek, Time noted that he came up with the idea "by noticing that everything made more sense if you spread it out a little." His first invention, the Epoch, was refined in later years to include the century, the day and his personal favorite, the minute. ("It's just so cute," he said.) In recent years he became estranged from the business, complaining that VCR's and other recording devices allow some things to happen later than others, or out of orders. "Kids today with their microseconds and nanowhatevers- It goes right past me." He is survived by his son, Fugit time the Second |
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| - James Lileks | |||||||||
| Used without permission from the Minneapolis Star Tribune | |||||||||
| Back (That ass up) | |||||||||