I found out I was pregnant almost exactly one month after my 20th birthday. I was scared to death but, also very excited. I spent many nights crying and trying to figure out how to tell my Mom. The Baby's father was pretty supportive and assured me he would be behind me all the way.
One night I began spotting. I really didn't think anything of it. I had heard that this was common during the first few weeks of a pregnancy. Well the spotting went on for about 2 days. I got very nervous and upset. So, off to the E.R. we went. The told me the same thing I had suspected days before.."it's common". They did an ultrasound just to be sure. Yup...everything was fine. There was a little Baby in there, there's the heartbeat!
It looked like a little flickering candle. Well this is when I forgot my fears nd became excited. I was gonna be a Mommy !! We had asked for a copy of the ultrasound picture but the Tech. forgot.
Two days later I decided to tell my Mom. This was the most frightening thing I have ever done ! So now my whole family knew and they were all pretty excited. Especially My Mom. My cousin and I had gone shopping and bought maternity clothes and a crib set. I couldn't wait. I knew it was going to be tough but I was going to do anything I had to. Of course the Father and I fought about names ! If it was a girl..Mikhayla Elizabeth..a boy..Ethan Michael.
Just 3 days after telling our families about the Baby, I was sitting on the couch at my Boyfriend's house and felt a "gush" of fluid and pretty bad back pains. So once again, off to the E.R. we went. All kinds of tests and hours later confirmed what I had already known. My Baby was gone. All the pain was due to the fact that I was 3 centimeters dialated and in back labor. My membranes had ruptured at 9 1/2 to 10 weeks gestation. The weeks (and years) following the loss of my Baby were horrible. I did nothing but cry. The night after we lost Mikhayla, I had a dream that a Beautiful Angel was standing in a white room with a Baby in her arms and said "This is your Daughter, she is safe with me in Heaven".
Mikhayla did not offically recieve her name until almost 2 years after we lost her. Thanks to some very special people I have learned that "A Person Is A Person, No Matter How Small". I will always have a piece of my Heart missing...until the day I am reunited with my precious Miki-girl.
(((Huggzzz)))
Stacey
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