IF YOU HAVE HALF A MIND TO RUN HASH - THAT'S ALL YOU NEED.

IF YOU'RE FEELING GOOD, DON'T WORRY, YOU'LL SOON GET OVER IT.

HASHING IS TRUE. DON'T BE MISLED BY FACTS.

THE FIRST MYTH OF HASH ORGANISATION IS THAT IT EXISTS.

IF THE HOUNDS ARE HAPPY, SOMETHING HAS GONE WRONG.

YOU ALWAYS FIND THE TRAIL IN THE LAST PLACE TO LOOK.

WHEN THE TRAIL JUST CAN'T POSSIBLY GET ANY WORSE, IT WILL.

NO MATTER WHICH WAY YOU CHECK, IT'S UPHILL AND AGAINST THE WIND.

AT CHECK-IT-OUTS THERE'S A 90% YOU'LL BE WRONG IN WHICHEVER WAY YOU GO.

YOU CAN NEVER TELL WHICH WAY THE HASH GOES BY LOOKING AT THE TRAIL.

IF THE TRAIL SHOULD EXIST, IT DOESN'T.

IF IT DOES EXISTS, IT'S FALSE.

WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH, EVERYONE SHORT CUTS.

ONCE A HASH RUN IS FUCKED UP, ANYTHING DONE TO IMPROVE IT ONLY MAKES IT WORSE.

EIGHTY PERCENT OF ALL HASHER CONSIDER THEMSELVES TO BE ABOVE AVERAGE 5CBs.

EVERY HASHER LIES, BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER, BECAUSE NOBODY LISTENS.

IF YOU KNEW WHAT YOU WERE DOING, YOU'D PROBABLY BE BORED.

ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

IF THE HASH NAME FITS, IT'S UGLY.

IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, IT FITS.

AN ALCOHOLIC IS A PERSON WHO DRINKS MORE THAN A HASH HOUSE HARRIER.

THERE ARE NEVER ENOUGH HOURS IN A DAY, BUT ALWAYS TOO MANY DAYS BEFORE THE HASH.

*** ON ON ***