Part 18

 

Boisterous laughter and pounding music filled the hotel suite. People from the tour were scattered all around the room and on the balcony. Alex was lounging on a chair in the sitting room watching Joey and Chris dance with a few of their dancers.

 

She was sipping a Smirnoff Ice slowly. After her last brief bout with alcohol, she decided to be a little more careful with the liquid. Her eyes danced over the people in the room until they rested on a figure standing in the small kitchen. He was leaning against the counter, smiling down at a girl Alex didn’t recognize.

 

Alex brushed aside the tiny spark of jealousy she felt watching him enjoy the girl’s company. Most of the time, she didn’t even remember she was playacting, so used to being Alex, guitarist and pal. It was only times like these when she remembered that she was very much a girl and kind of wished JC knew it too.

 

The girl laughed at something he said and shoved him playfully and for the first time in weeks Alex thought about Vella. Vella wasn’t on tour with them anymore. Her contract was finished and they had two new openers but as far as Alex knew, JC was still going out with her. So why was he blatantly flirting with someone else?

 

JC must have felt Alex’s eyes on him because he turned his head and their eyes met. He smiled at her before he turned back to the girl to say something else. Alex took another sip of her drink and watched him as he excused himself, or at least that’s what it looked like he was doing, and walked over to her.

 

“How’s it going?” he asked as he sat down beside her.

 

She shrugged.

 

JC saw the frown on her face and a serious expression fell over his. “Al, what’s up?”

 

Alex shook her head. “Nothing. It’s just—“ she took a breath and the words came out as she exhaled, “I don’t think it’s cool that your flirting with someone considering your girlfriend just got off tour a couple weeks ago.”

 

JC furrowed his brows in consternation. “I barely think talking to a girl is flirting but since Vella and I aren’t together anymore, I don’t see how it’d make that much of a difference.”

 

Alex paused in surprise. “Oh.” She looked at him closely. “When did this happen? And how come I’m just hearing about it?”

 

“I didn’t think it was a big deal, so I only said something if someone asked. I figured everyone would figure it out eventually.” He leaned his head back on the couch. “I sat her down a couple days before her last night with us and told her that I just didn’t see it working out.”

 

“And how did she take it?”

JC winced a little at the memory. “Not too well actually but I’d rather not relive that moment in time. I’m just glad it’s over. We were having way too many problems.”

Alex nodded her expression serious. She was partially elated at the news of the break up but she knew that it didn’t change the fact that she was still pretending to be a boy and JC would never see her as anything other than a friend.

 

“She was a bit much to tell you the truth,” Alex said in a joking manner even though she was completely serious.” You can do better. Someone who is funnier, friendlier, and likes you for the cool guy you are.”

 

JC grinned. “Someone like you then?”

 

Alex blinked. Had she heard him right? Did he know? How had he found out? Her eyes widened in alarm.

 

JC, seeing the alarm in Alex’s eyes, took it the wrong way. “I’m not hitting on you, dude. I swear. I just meant like, you’re a funny, friendly dude and you’re a good friend and just…it would be nice to find a girl like that.”

 

It took a minute for Alex to realize that JC still didn’t have a clue she was a girl and to penetrate the nice words. “Thanks, man,” she said. She couldn’t stop herself from reaching out and squeezing his shoulder.

 

He moved back as soon as she touched him. “Sure.” He got up and looked down at her. “I’m going to get a drink. Want anything?”

“No, that’s cool.”

 

“I’ll see you later then.” Alex watched him as he walked away, a frown on her face.

 

JC had been acting strangely ever since that movie night. His attitude toward her hadn’t changed. They were still good buddies but every time she got close to him, he moved away. He had always been very affectionate, hugging her, tackling her, basically treating her the same way he treated the other guys. But lately – lately it seemed like he was almost afraid to touch her. It was weird and starting to really bother her.

 

She sighed and got up from her position on the couch, suddenly feeling very tired. She walked down the hall of the suite and walked into the small bedroom JC shared with Justin. Finding it empty, she closed the door and threw herself down on one of the beds. She closed her eyes, enjoying the quiet of the room.

 

She was in the middle of deciding whether to kick off her shoes and get more comfortable in the bed or go back to the party when the door opened. She propped herself up on her upper arms and saw Leo looking down at her on the bed.

 

“Hey!” he said, before sitting on the bed.

 

Alex groaned inwardly and sat up fully. “Hey Leo.”

 

Leo inched a little towards her and put his arm around her shoulder. “Happy Birthday, Al!” he said as he squeezed her shoulder.

Alex was getting decidedly more uncomfortable with Leo so close to her. “Uh, yeah. Thanks.” She tried to shift her body away but he only tightened his grasp on her.

 

“Yeah, well I think I’ll just get back to the party,” she said, finally pulling away from him and getting up.

 

Leo got up with her and followed her as she moved towards the door. He stopped her before she could open it, putting his hand on top of the knob.

 

“I really like you, Alex.”

 

Alex could feel the panic build inside her but she took a resolute breath and turned to face him. He had to know that she wasn’t interested in him. “Look Leo—“

 

As soon as she turned, Leo took the opportunity to take her face between his hands and Alex couldn’t stop him from bending his head and kissing her. Leo’s lips moved over hers and Alex felt repulsed and upset. Her first kiss was ruined. She’d wanted to share it with someone she really cared about. Someone like JC, she thought.

 

She pushed at his chest and his response was to move his hands from her face and wrap his arms around her waist. Didn’t he get the hint? she thought in frustration, feeling sick at the way his body was rubbing against hers.

 

The door opened again as she was shifting her leg to knee him and she heard a sharp intake of breath come from someone on her right. She put her hands on Leo’s chest and gave a hard shove and he fell back. She turned her head and saw JC shutting the door firmly. She groaned. She was almost positive he hadn’t seen her push Leo away. What must he be thinking?

 

She was about to give him chase but remembered that Leo was still beside her breathing heavily and smiling down at her. Before she dealt with JC, she had to kill Leo.

 

She turned on him, anger in every pore of her body. “I don’t know what in the hell makes you think that I’m interested in you but let me just get that little idea out of your head. I’m not interested in you. Period. Stop pushing yourself on me. It makes me uncomfortable. If you keep doing it, I’ll be forced to talk to Charlie and I know you don’t want that.” She looked back at Leo’s stunned face before she opened the door and walked out of the room.

…

 

JC was avoiding her and being obvious about it. Every time she walked up to a group that he was in, he’d excuse himself and go somewhere else. Alex was getting frustrated with him. He wouldn’t even let her explain.

 

At least Leo had finally left. He’d made his excuses and had gone back to their room. Alex realized shortly after that she’d have to find another place to sleep for the night. Thankfully, she knew one of the guys would let her crash in his room.

 

Alex poured herself a glass of orange juice at the bar at the edge of the room and was about to walk away when someone grabbed her hand.

 

She looked at Chris and he smiled at her. He lifted her drink and sniffed it and she watched him curiously. A month ago, his behaviour would probably have concerned her but now that she knew him, she just watched him patiently. Chris was always amusing to watch.

 

Chris put her drink down and gave her a disappointed look. “I knew it! No alcohol. What am I going to do with you, kid?”

 

He fussed at the bar, found a couple of bottles and started mixing the liquids into Alex’s orange juice. He stirred it and pushed it towards her, a satisfied grin on his face. “Now try that and tell me you don’t love it.”

 

Alex gave him an unimpressed look before sipping the contents of the glass. It was sweet, a little tangy and she could barely taste the alcohol. She nodded. “Not bad.”

 

“Not bad? I made it so it’s awesome,” Chris said, his smile a little crooked and his stance a little off which made Alex think that he wasn’t as sober as he had first appeared. “Besides it’s perfect for you. Sweet but with a kick that you won’t feel until you least expect it and…” A mischievous glint went into Chris’s eyes. “It’s just girly enough for you.”

 

Alex started with shock. What did he mean by that? She looked at Chris searchingly and he looked back at her with a kind of drunken amusement. But underneath that, there was something else in eyes, she just wasn’t sure what.

 

Chris’s eyes shifted to the side and his smile widened. “I think someone wants to speak to you.” He leaned across the bar and said “Good luck!” in a stage whisper before walking away.

 

Alex felt both amusement and fear at Chris's words and actions. What did he know?

 

She was mulling it over in her head when she felt a hand on her back. She turned her head to see Andrea standing behind her. “Hey,” she said easily.

 

Andrea smiled. “Hey, can we talk?”

 

Alex shrugged. “Yeah, sure.”

 

She shoved her hands in her jean pockets and followed Andrea across the room to the empty balcony.

 

Alex leaned against the wall and the wind fluttered her hair. It was starting to grow out and her bangs brushed against her forehead.

 

She watched Andrea pace in front of her, waiting to see what this was leading up to. It didn’t take her long to find out. Andrea walked up to Alex and raised her head. “Would you kiss me?” she asked.

 

Alex sighed. “I thought we went over this.”

 

“We did but I just don’t get why we can’t be kissing buddies. I don’t need a relationship. I just want to be with you,” Andrea said, her mouth pulled down in a frown.

 

“It wouldn’t work.”

”Why?”

 

“Because I like boys, ok?” Alex said finally.

 

“What?” Andrea stepped back, her face reflecting her shock.

 

“I like boys!” Alex said more firmly, just as JC walked onto the balcony.

 

The look on his face told her that he’d heard what she’d said. But she figured he must have already assumed as much when he saw Leo kissing her.

 

She looked back at Andrea who was still trying to grasp what Alex had said. “Wow. I didn’t know you were gay. That explains so much.”

 

Alex opened her mouth to deny being gay but realized in time that was exactly what she had implied. Alex turned her eyes on JC who was looking at her in a bemused manner. She folded her hands over her chest, his piercing gaze was making her feel uncomfortable.

 

Andrea started walking towards the balcony door. She passed JC and turned when she was inside the doorway. She eyed the two other people on the balcony looking at each other and sighed. “You know I didn’t really get why it couldn’t work out before. But now I do.” She gave JC’s back a significant glance and turned her eyes back to Alex. “Now, I really do,” she said before walking inside and shutting the glass doors behind her.

 

Alex barely heard what Andrea said. She was more concerned about clearing things up with JC. “Look, I’m not gay. I just told her that so she would stop going after me.”

 

JC raised a brow and walked up to her slowly. “Then explain Leo and what I saw in my room.”

 

“Well if you’d have let me, I would have cleared all that up hours ago,” Alex said, rolling her eyes. “The truth is, Leo threw himself at me for whatever twisted reason in his mind. I have never invited his attentions and I never will. If you’d stayed longer in the room you would have seen me push him away.”

 

JC sighed and leaned against the railing. He rested his elbows on the bar and put his hands over his face.

 

Alex seeing the action frowned at him in concern. “JC? Are you ok?”

 

He shook his head and straightened up in front of her. “I don’t know, Alex. I really don’t know.” He aligned his eyes with hers and shook his head again. “Why do I feel so fucking relieved?” he said so softly that Alex had to strain to hear him.

Alex looked at him in confusion. What was that supposed to mean? Was he relieved that she wasn’t gay or was it due to the fact that she wasn’t after Leo? “I don’t understand.”

JC took a closer step and tipped her chin up towards him. “Neither do I.”

 

Alex’s heart thudded against her chest, her mind not registering what her eyes were telling her.

 

JC‘s eyes searched hers before he lowered his head and brushed his lips against hers. Alex was too shocked at first to do anything but as his lips played over hers, she felt herself softening against him.

 

JC’s hands went around Alex’s waist and he drew her closer to him. He’d taken off his jacket earlier and as she slid her hands up his shoulders, she could feel the tight muscles underneath the thin material of his shirt. Her head was swimming and heat filled her when his tongue slid between her lips.

 

Suddenly there was a crash inside the hotel room and they both jerked back. JC’s eyes were cloudy and he blinked to clear them. He looked dazed and bewildered and Alex’s eyes reflected the same confusion. What had just happened there?

 

JC took a step backwards. “I – I should go see what happened…” he said softly, his words drifting into the night air. Without another word, he turned and walked inside, leaving Alex shaken and wondering what she was going to do.

 

 

 

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