Today is the eve of Chinese Lunar New Year. Do you know what is Chinese Lunar New Year? It's a celebration for all asian chinese people. This festival lasts for 15 days from the 1st day till the 15 day of the first Lunar Month of the year. Normally on the eve of Chinese Lunar New Year, everyone in the family will gather around for reunion dinner and after that, all kids and children will not go to sleep early. They will stay up as late as possible, there is a belief that the longer the child stays awake, the more longer their parents will stay alive. This is a form of wishing for longevity for parents.
As for me, normally after reunion dinner at my grandma's place, I will go to pray at a famous temple in downtown area and after that, I will go to look around and shop at New Year night market in Chinatown. This year actually I have already made a pact with 'him' to go to pray & shop after reunion dinner at our own house.. but then, *sigh* we split up.. So in the end, it's back to usual like last year. I went to pray for my love luck and everything to be super good and best in my life with my cousin and her hubby. But this year, we didn't go to shop at Chinatown coz it is raining super heavily.. we back home immediately after praying.

Will he remain faithful to me and not be back with bitch that hurt him a lot? Now we are in the mode of 'cooling down' our relationship(as said by him).. I told Tan that I will wait for him during this period of time(I don't know how long this period of time can last for me). But if I were ever to know he goes back to be with bitch then realise she is wrong choice when she hurts him again and finally choose me at last, then I am sorry.. coz by then, it is really "GAME OVER" for both of us already. Do you think he can be that faithful? Purely only using this period of time to heal his hurt and not be with anyone? I hope he can.. *ne beloved, please don't disappoint me..*
I talked to Tan last night, she asked why I sound so happy? I told her there is no use of me being sad and "end of the world" at all time, I still need to work, still need to carry on with my everyday life. So thatz why I must 'act/fake' strong even though I know my heart is crying inside. Work is work, love is love, I cannot mix both together. In the end, Kohashi told Tan to sing "Survival" by Destiny Child to me.. telling me that I must be strong and get over soon. Both of them said he is not worthy for me and I should be de-value myself to be with him.
Well, I have already made my decision after many many people console me.. and I told you my decision above. What do you feel about my decision? I guess my theme color for this period of time will gonna be black color.. until.. 4-Faced Buddha knows when.. *All gods and buddha in heaven, please bless me!*

Yesterday my boss allowed me to leave early from work due to my sad mood and also becoz I don't feel well. *Sigh~ why all bad luck come to me at one go? Shooo.. shooo.. get lost bad luck!*
img src="bullet_yellow.gif" width="7" height="7" align="absmiddle"> I met up with my buddy before she accompany me to go to see doctor. At the clinic, the doctor looks weird to me when she question me about my sickness.. "your tummy is churning.. you have no appetite.. you feel like vomitting.. unable to sleep" I had to be super confirmed to keep on repeating twice to tell her "I AM 100% NOT PREGNANT! I AM SICK!" *faints~ what a baka doctor! How can I be pregnant when I didn't do anything!?* So in the end, after diagnosis, the result is I am suffering from minor gastric flu. (-_-")
The doctor prescribed me some medication for gastric flu and gave me only 5 Valium pills(sleeping pills)! What the fuck~ does that means I can only have 5 night of good sleep?? I have problem sleeping.. I am thinking too much and stressing myself out too much.. I need more pills to relax!

Finally we became a couple.. but why did he suddenly have to tell me that he wish to take a break as he can't forget his past love? He was deeply hurt before.. now he doesn't wish to get hurt.. but does he realise that by doing this to me.. he is also hurting me? I feel so hurt and pain.. it's as though he took me to cloud 9 and threw me down from there.. the past is already 1 1/2 years thing already but he still can't get over it! Just a sms from him telling me "Let be friend. We could be together again, just give each other a break. Hope you understand." and "Sorry to make u sad.. I dun wan both of us to regret and hurt each other. i do feel that both of us need more time to develop our relationship. Hope u understand." I can understand, but can he understand what hell I will be going through after he said this to me???
I am now trying to keep myself occupied and pack my schedule fully and tightly so that I will never be alone.. I am scared of being alone now.. I'm scared I will miss him and think of him.. for I cannot 'disturb' him now when he is trying to get over it. I am scared that during this period I will lose to the other woman. Is he really meant for me? Or was it just a dream? Spare me the torture my dearest Lord Almighty Satan~ dunn bring me to paradise and throw me back to hell again..
Will Kohashi & MOMO kill him for the hurt he brought to their beloved lil'piggy hamu? I am tired, heart-broken.. I am really very very tired after 3(plus this one) continous failed relationship.. I am really scared by now.. ..

I used to look nice with happy smiles and laughters on my face but now, I look like shit in all photos that I take.. What's wrong with me? Where did the carefree and cheerful ino went? I look through many of my past photos and compared with my current photos.. all photos in the past shows me as a happy and carefree person with smiles that is so cheerful and nature-feeling. But when I look at photos that I take now, they look so gloomy and lifeless.. even the smiles seem so fake and unhappy.. Have I changed? Did my old self got lost in this wide, wide world? Will there be a day when I can go back to the old days again??? I wish..

Yipeeee.. I got new hair color! By now, my hair is light copper blond already. I like my new hair color a lot, thanks to my hair stylist, she is very good at my hair! I will try to take a pic and replace the photo on right to show you soon. So look out ne!
Although I was on medical leave yesterday, but by evening I still went out to watch a movie with my buddy after I did my hair at my hair stylist house. My buddy, myself, my cousin and one of our friends, we went to watch TWO WEEKS NOTICE starring Sandra Bullock & Hugh Grant. It's a nice movie and I think maybe MOMO will like this movie. I think Kohashi might not like it as he is more of the STAR TREK lovers.. so as usual, it's MOMO with me while Tan with Kohashi.. *MOMO, I guess we are stuck for life ne..*
Till now my voice have not come back yet.. my voice still sound quite coarse, rough and you can hear the 'flu' that is with me.. When can my voice come back?? Do you have any good suggestion of what can I eat/drink to make my voice come back? You can email your 'recipe' to me at my email.

I lost my voice ne.. I am now suffering from cough, sore throat and loss of voice.. (-_-") Last Friday when I went KTV after work, I had already started coughing and all the way till yesterday afternoon. Then during late evening, Mr A suddenly came to my house downstairs saying that he bought something to give me! Guess what is it.. he bought me a packet of barbequed sliced pork!! Ah~ it is gift for chinese new year. But it's quite weird in my sense coz normally only in love couples or wedded couples will buy to give each other's family and of course, some will buy to give their elders in the family. But why give me? Are we in love? I don't know ne.. well~ back to main topic. Main reason why I am having sore throat was becoz I ate one BIG piece of barbequed sliced pork even though when I am already coughing and my body is very heaty already.. so by now, I lost my voice. (-_-)
Btw, do you like new outlook of my diary? Yes yes, a new look for a new year!!! I love this new outlook a lot, I think it is very cool. For the past weekend, I was cracking my brain at home, thinking of new outlook for diary. And then just now, HEY! Yai'Tan(Yai in thai means grandmother/grandfather) made new outlook for me!!! I am so happy!!!! Thank you so much Yai'Tan!!! *chuu chuu*
Note: Yai'Tan, if you cannot change my diary. What is written cannot be unwritten ne.. so you can only be like Kohashi.. add note below diary log to say you want to be 'something else' heeheee..

Today is my last day in Bangkok. We left for Bangkok Airport Terminal 2 at 12:30pm as my flight was 3pm. Upon arriving at the check-in counter, I realised that my flight was delayed for 25minutes as the carrier came in late behind the scheduled time. So is it still safe to take this carrier? I hope I can get back to SG safely ne.. *pray pray*
Before Joce & I pass through Immigration counter, Tan, myself & Joce went for farewell lunch at THE PIZZA COMPANY's counter in Terminal 2 and after that, we took purikuras. Joce & I finally went through the Immigration counter at about 2:25pm. While inside, I went to claim back my VAT/Tax Refund before I went to shop at the DFS store. At DFS store, I bought an amethyst bracelet and a rose quartz bracelet for myself. Do you know, Amethyst is a type of stone that can help it's owner with luck in love while Rose Quartz have the power to beautify it's owner's complexion and skin! So I bought both to 'help' myself! Haha.. We finally boarded our flight at 3:30pm and safely arrived in SG at 5:30pm.

Today is my second last day in Bangkok. We went to dine at Baiyoke Skyview Hotel tonite, we ate buffet on 78th flr. I took a photo intending to show here but I don't know what happened to my camera.. see right. What happened!? Is my camera afraid of heights?
Just now while dining at Baiyoke, I received a sad and shocking sms from Mr A.. He sms to tell me that his beloved cousin is trapped in RSN naval collision off Pranca Branca and that her body is still not found yet!!! What happened in Singapore!?!?! I am so cut-off with news in my country! He told me to take care of myself well and that if there is anything wrong, to immediately inform him. I was so shocked and sad by this piece of news, I immediately had a intuition that his cousin's body might be trapped in a swampy area.. *shivers.. why I suddenly have such intuition?* I called my aunt after that to get more news on what's going on in Singapore. This new year 2003 is indeed an unlucky year for many many people..

Two days in a row I had to wake up at 7am, but today I slightly slept a bit more. I woke up only at around 7:48am. We left for Tan's university at about 8:30am as her lesson starts at 10:30am. After we send her to classes, Joce & I went to had 'heavy' breakfast at S&P Restaurant at her university. Today we waited for nearly 4hrs before we finally saw Tan! I was so super bored and sick to continue waiting, I actually complained a little to Kohashi via email.. *sorry Tan, but it's too long to wait and I had nothing to do while waiting for you. I nearly turned into a fossil!*
Finally after we saw Tan, we went to Pattaya to enjoy. We arrived at about 4pm and Tan went to get tickets for Miss Tiffany show, she bought Thai student rate tickets for all three of us! Can we really pass off as students? I don't think I look thai ne.. After that, we went straight to shop at Hard Rock Cafe, Pattaya. I bought a red dress (Tan was first to notice but I acted faster than her), a tee for myself and a tee for Mr A. I have yet to tell him about this.. it's a secret gift from me! *heeheehee.. * After shopping at HRC, we went to have our dinner at The Pizza Company.. I must tell you, Tan is super good at getting a BIG bowl of salad! She is very very good!!
Miss Tiffany show starts at 8pm and when we were about to enter, the security suddenly asked me & Joce for our students pass! I was like "OH SHIT! We can't pass off students!" so in the end, we had to pay another extra 300bhatt to enter to watch the show. But lucky thing was that we are still able to get the seat that was originally allocated to us. After the show, we took photos with 2 'girls' from Miss Tiffany. One of them is in white gown and I took a solo picture with her while Tan, who is by now crazy over the 'girl' who act as Britney Spears, took a number of picture with her! We finally left for Bangkok at about 10am. A tiring day ne..

Today I had to wake up super early. At 7am, we had to wake up coz Tan needs to go back to her old university for a 3hrs lesson. It was a long time waiting for her so Joce & I took our cameras and went round her school taking photos. The 'unlucky' part was when we were being mistaken for trepassers by the security who took us to the main office for 'questioning' but they finally realised that it was a miscommunication, they let us leave and allowed us to continue to stay in the university to wait for Tan. And hahaha~ guess what.. Mr A sms me! Hahaha.. he is always like this.. whenever I start giving him 'cold treatment', he will bear for one day and then just sms me on the next day already! Yeah~ I win again! *hmmmn.. when will you win me, Mr A? heeheeeheee*
When 3hrs was finally up, we went to World Trade Center as Tan wanted me to help her get some cosmetics from DFS store. But I didn't get as we found out that anything imported that I buy in DFS store will be send direct to my flight for me to collect on board. So after all this time wasted at DFS store, we went over to pray at 4-faced buddha before we left for Siam Discovery Center to eat Hachiban Ramen. As usual after meal, we shopped around at Siam Square before we go to Villa Supermarket to get tibits, food and drinks. Today we back home super early at 9:30pm as Tan need to rest early for her final lesson that she need to attend at her university tomorrow.

Happy New Year! May all my loved ones be blessed with the best of luck in love(me too! me too!), health, career and everything. May you all succeed in whatever endeavours that you may have.
Today is new year day, I got up as usual at 10am.. early for a 'vampire' like me! I actually wanted to eat pigs blood noodle but because the shop didn't open, so we were unable to eat it and had to change to eat duck meat noodle at another stall and you know what, Tan thinks the shop had overcharged us coz she did some calculations after we left the stall. We left for Siam Discovery Center at around 2:30pm, actually intending to have a little coffee session at UCC but in the end, we ate again! Yes, at UCC! I ordered spaghetti soup, Joce had fried crabmeat rice and Tan had clam spaghetti. 2 meals in a row! Is this considered lunch or dinner, coz we already had lunch just now.. We are sure heavy eaters ne! *GIRL POWER! hahaha~*
After UCC, we shopped around Siam Square and then we popped over to Ma Boon Krong. On our way to MBK, I accidentially stepped on uneven ground and pulled my legs muscles.. Ouuuuuccchhh~ itaii ne! But the worst had yet happened.. just before I had to climb the overhead bridge to go over to MBK, near the road, a mad man threw a cup of soya bean milk at me and laughed at me when the milk splashed on me!!! What the fuck!!!! What is going!? I feel so angry, fustrated, furious, agitated and super super UNLUCKY for so many bad things happened to me on new year day! o(>_<)o
We shopped till about 8plus before I suggested that we go to Pat Phong again as I wanted to get a pair of slippers for myself and my aunt too.(My original pair of slippers was spoilt on new year eve when a guy stepped on my slipper and tored the front part of the strap.) We ate our 'dinner' at Mac'Donalds in Pat Phong before we enter into the night market to shop for our stuffs. I managed to find back the stall that I bought the slippers from on my arrival day. Besides buying slippers, I also bought a pair of "DIESEL" cargo pants(you can switch between long pants & shorts for this one) for myself. We bought drinks at the nearby family mart before we back home at about 10:45pm. Today I totally didn't talked/sms to Mr A, I am still so angry with him.. I even took off the bracelet he gave me for present. *gossip.. gossip.. I've actually been wearing it since X'mas eve when he gave it to me as present.*