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| Love -- Part II It is my belief that you should never marry a man until you�ve dated him at least 2-3 years. Dated -- not known. You can be friends with a guy for years, but the minute you date him, things change and the clock starts fresh. You must pretend you never met him before and evaluate him thoroughly. Think of stories he told you about past loves, and look for red flags. Is every single ex-girlfriend a �raging bitch who done him wrong�? Beware! Did he ever cheat on any of them and tell you about it? Worse yet, did he ever cheat on any of them with you? If you answered yes to any of these questions -- Don�t Go There Girl! These are Fatal Flaws. Fatal Flaws are the ones that knock him right off the list without further ado. Cheating, Drugs, Stealing, and Lying are some of the most obvious. (For more about Fatal Flaws see �Are You The One For Me� by Barbara DeAngeles.) For example, you make a vow to never date a smoker. You go out on a date with Brad Pitt, and he lights up. Say good-bye. Don�t waste any more time with this one. Just say no. The chances that he will quit are slim, and you would have to badger him for months/years before he would anyway, and really, is this the kind of woman you want to be? I think not. Also, keep in mind that your criteria for dating are different that your criteria for long term. Even once you decide on new criteria, old habits are hard to break. You may decide that Second Stringers* are the way to go, but then you meet Brad Pitt at a party, and he wants you. So, you go out with him, against all better judgment. Maybe he�ll be different. Maybe he�ll be the one gorgeous guy who isn�t a schmuck. Maybe, but the odds are against it. I figure you might as well play the odds, and date those who are statistically more inclined to be what you want. Why go fishing in a large pond with the rumor of one big exotic fish in it, when you could go over to the smaller, freshly stocked, man-made lake, and pretty much guarantee that you�ll catch enough trout to make a filling dinner. Pretty soon, trout becomes your favorite fish. *Second Stringers are those men who you don't notice at first, because the First Stringers are commanding all attention in the room. First Stringers are those men who are incredibly good looking, and they usually know it. Second Stringers are usually good looking once you get to know them. They tend to try harder, be funnier, and have better manners than First Stringers. Partly to get noticed, and partly because they know they can't depend on their looks alone to get a woman to notice them. Second Stringers are definately the way to go. continued... |
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