It's been a while since I've written, and of course a lot has happened since I wrote last. We connected up with a donor egg agency and found a donor that would work. I was actually pretty dissappointed in the number of donors that matched us who were available at that point. We had 3 to chose from. We ended up chosing a 21 year old, and although she didn't really look like us, she would work okay. We were excited about the fact that she was only 21, and hoped and prayed that she'd make lots of eggs for us. She went for her pyshcological testing and passed that.
We went to Louisville KY and Raleigh NC to visit our folks for a week at the end of April. We had a really nice time, but when we returned, we found out that our donor had been cancelled on us. When I called the agency back, I found out that we probably won't be able to cycle with another donor until August or later, and I was really upset. I wasn't totally convinced that our donor was the right one, but I was more disappointed that we'd have our timeline pushed back than losing her specifically. Still, it hurt, and sucked, in a big way. This all happened yesterday.
My period was due today, and when I tested this morning, it was faintly positive. Since I've had my share of faint positive pregnacy tests that do not end up with babies 9 months later, I'm tentatively excited, but mostly scared for the other shoe to drop. I'm afraid to be excited. I went for a beta test this morning, and we'll see what that says. I'd really like my beta number to be around 50 minimum, but since I tested with an Answer test, which is very sensitive, and it was faint, I'll be lucky if it comes back around 20. Several thoughts keep running through my brain. 1. It's got to be my turn soon, doesn't it? 2. Please let it stick. 3. Please let it be healthy.
Whoever is reading this, please, please, please, keep me in your prayers. I'll add more when I get my results back. If they are positive, I'll go back on Thursday for a repeat beta. If that is still positive, and doubling appropriately, I'll beg for a few more betas, until my numbers are in the thousands. My clinic doesn't usually do that, but with my history, it just seems cruel tomake me wait until an u/s at 6-8 weeks with no additional information. Please let me get that far...please let it stick and be healthy...please let it finally be my turn....
Jamie
trying to be excited while waiting for the other show to drop
In other, non fertility related news, Rob and I are buying a new house. For more information, click on this.
