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Hello readers. Thought it was time to check in here again, just so you'd know I was planning on keeping my promise of updating more often. Not a whole lot to report tonight. Been a pretty boring weekend so far. I still feel the same way about everything as I did last time I checked in. Still not eating right, but still planning to resume healthy eating starting Monday. Speaking of Monday, I've decided I'm not going to weigh-in this Monday, maybe not the following Monday either. I just can't bare to see all the damage I've done to myself. Cowardly, I know, but I just can't do it.

Went grocery shopping today. Got a shit load of fruit. I got some grapefruit, apples, oranges, peaches, plums, grapes, banana's and cantaloupe. I wanted to buy a fresh whole pineapple too, but they wanted $5.00 for a little one. I may be crazy but I'm not stupid. I can probably go to Wal-Mart and get a big one for half that price. So, now I will be forced to eat all this fruit before it goes bad. It cost way to much to let it go to waste. Speaking of that, if any of you have tips on how to make fresh fruit last longer, please send me an email. I am not a veggie person. I will eat salad with just about anything in it, but as for eating veggie's alone, I'm very picky. I'll eat broccoli, with cheese of course, corn, lettuce, potatoes, green beans and tomatoes (I know, they are technically a fruit). Seriously, that is about it. Unless you count garlic, green peppers, onion. I will eat those too. So getting in the veggies should be a challenge since most that I like are starchy, which I'm not supposed to eat until night time.

I made my 2 year old some macaroni and cheese for lunch the other day. I left the room for just a second and walked back in and this is what I seen.

Yeah, real cute huh?

Hmm What can I say? I've been out of it lately, can you tell. I don't really know what has been going on lately, but I've been having such are hard time on the weight loss front. I think I just got sick of it all. Tired of food consuming me and my life. Tired of counting points. Tired of drinking so much water. Tired of writing down every single thing I put in my mouth. Tired of feeling guilty for not doing what I should be doing. I really don't know if this is something that everyone goes through at a certain point, or just something I am going through right now. Basically, it all boils down to, I needed a break. A serious break. I'm not even sure I'm ready to pick up and start again yet, but deep down, I know I need to. I have worked to hard these last 9 months. I'm not going to give up and gain all this weight back. I know that I've gained some back. I know that my scale is wrong. It has to be. It said I only gained half a pound this week. I know that isn't possible. With the way I've been eating, there is just no way. More like probably 5 pounds, at least. That is fine though. It was worth it to me. I seriously needed this time to not have to worry about eating all the wrong foods. If I gained weight back, at this point, I don't care. All I care about right now is getting back on track.

My husband said he wants to lose weight with me. I really hope he means it this time. I'm going to be honest. I probably will not eat right the rest of the weekend. First thing Monday morning, I'm starting fresh again. He wants to lose weight with me so I'm going to be looking and looking for simple, semi-cheap, low calorie/point family recipes to make.

I am going to try a little something different this time, just to see how it works. I was reading an article in a magazine, it had this diet plan in it. Usually, I don't pay much attention to those diet articles. I don't usually believe them. I decided to give this one a try because, (1) I need something different. I get bored so easy. (2) Because it doesn't really seem that far fetched. (3) Sounds perfect for me. - What you do is fill up on fruits and veggies all day so that you can avoid refined carbs. Refined carbs cause fatigue and send "Store as Fat" signals to your body. You can also eat two servings of protein, like fish or chicken to help with hunger. The benefits of eating like this during the day are as follows. The fruits and veggies will detox your system and provide energy boosting nutrients. It's also supposed to energize your entire body by increasing blood flow to the heart, muscles and brain. Eating this way also stimulates the production of glucagon, a hormone that burns fat and eliminates bad cholesterol. So, then evening rolls around and you get to pig out. It says you can eat anything you want, but they must be eaten in a certain order for maximum benefits. Like, start with a green leafy salad. Then move on to some sort of lean protein and a vegetable. After that, you can eat some kind of starchy carb like corn, rice or potatoes with butter. Then eat a low fat dessert.

The reason I feel like this is perfect for me is because I am fine during the day. My hunger is usually controllable. At night time though, that's when I mess up. I'm hoping this will work for me, if not, I move on to something else. I will let you know how it works incase anyone would like to give it a try.

About my story I promised over a week ago. I don't think it's going to happen. I did start it and wrote quite a bit, but I decided it's really not worth sharing. I'm sorry if you're disappointed, which I doubt, but maybe someday I will finish and post it. Just not now.

I am going to try and start posting more often. Seems like when I was posting more on a regular basis, I was staying on track a lot better. So if that's what it takes, then so be it. I've also decided that I am not going to post strictly diet related stuff. I would like to write more about my life in general. I know this is a weight loss page and a weight loss journal, but it is my journal and right now I feel that would be more beneficial to me. Going to be posting more pictures too every once in awhile. I love reading people's journal and they post a picture of their kids, their pet or their house. Keeps it entertaining, I think.

I would love some email right about now. I need to know that I still have some readers. Please send me an email and make me feel special. I promise to write back. Until next time...

I'm sorry everyone, I know I promised an entry about my childhood. Honestly, I haven't had any time to sit down and write it. I need some peace and quiet around this house, it's crazy. I will be so glad when school starts back up. The kids are about as messed up on their sleeping schedule as I am. Plus I started my monthly and have been trying to lay down as much as I can today and yesterday because of the cramping. I will get it up, not that it's that thrilling, so don't think that you are missing something great. I will work on it tonight after the kids go to bed and hopefully have it up very soon. I don't know really. It seemed like something so important to write about, for me mainly, now it seems like it's more of a pain in the ass trying to find the time. Like I said though, I promised, so it will get done. Grrr the kids keep trying to come up and read this over my shoulder. That's exactly what I'm talking about, finding the time. Not just for this but for everything!

Well let me just add this real quick and then I will log off of here. Dieting is going so-so. I think the reason my eating was so out of control last week is because of getting ready to start TOM. It seems a bit better this week. I've been avoiding the scale at all cost. I have no idea what it will say on Monday, and I'm not about to guess. Water has been going fairly well, exercise has not. Once again, it's a time issue. There just doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day to get anything done. That is all for tonight. I will update again real soon.

I originally planned to type a big long entry about my childhood. I guess turning a year older has been making me cruise down memory lane. I'm to tired now, but I will do it next time I update. Nothing thrilling I guess, but it might help you to better understand me. I was in my car thinking. Trying to figure out how I ever let myself get so fat. I used to love to work out. I took pride in my body and my appearance. Having babies certainly didn't help my figure, but it really goes a lot deeper than that. Like I said, I will update again very soon and spill my guts.

I bought Leslie Sansone's, 2 mile tape tonight. I haven't tried it yet, but I've heard many people talking about how good it is, so I thought I'd give it a try. Since I'm having such a hard time controlling my eating right now, I guess I should be exercising. Maybe it will help balance everything out.

I finally got some pictures of Tom (our kitten), so I thought I'd share those with you. I have to say, I blame my getting a kitten on Robyn. Awhile back she posted a link on her journal to this page. Rate my kitten. I've been addicted every since! I visit the page daily. As a matter of fact, my kitten Tom is listed there right now. After looking at all of the cute little fluff balls, I couldn't help but get one. So thanks a lot Robyn!

Ok, on to the pictures...

Check out those claws!

Again, those claws!

This is my favorite.

Another cute one.

Spoiled already.

Ok, that's all for now. I will get that entry up in the next day or two. Take care.

Exercise

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