Scroll down to see older entries.

Hello out there. Let me first say, I'm sorry for the lack of updates lately. When I decided to make a message board I had no idea it would consume so much of my time. Don't get me wrong, I love it and I'm glad that I did make it, but it doesn't leave me a whole lot of time over here. On the other hand, if you have been missing my writings and whatnot, I post over there every single day, so pop in and check it out. I love the support that I am able to offer over there and the support that is offered to me. Just a small group of people sharing life's ups and downs, it's perfect.

This week I haven't been on the ball so to speak. I don't know why but I've had the appetite of a fish. It seems like no matter what I eat, I'm still hungry. Trust me I know, my fish will eat and eat and seems never to be full. So, last week was good, this week isn't. I'm back on track though. This is the kind of behavior that would make me give up many months ago, but not anymore. I just have to allow myself to make mistakes. As I've said before, I'm in this for good. I have never once, in the 9 months that I started trying to lose weight, thought about quitting. To me, that is a good sign. Now, to be perfectly honest, there has been times when I've given up for the rest of the day, but I always start back up the next. Sometimes I get so mad at myself and feel hopeless about everything, but I keep going. I'm not a saint and I know that I will fuck up. Hell, I expect it. I know deep down though, that some day, the scale will show me the magic numbers.

We named our cat Tom. Actually the kids named it. Tom is cute as can be, quite playful. I don't have batteries in my camera right now or I'd get a picture of him. I will do that over the weekend hopefully. My husband isn't quite so taken by him anymore. We have these huge floor speakers, they are hubby's pride and joy. In the back of each one are two rather large port holes. The cat likes to climb in there and sleep. My husband is very much against this. He keeps threatening that the cat will have to go if he gets in there one more time. Of course he has but he's still here. Not sure how to train a cat, but I guess we just have to work on that.

My 29th birthday is this Sunday. I've been a little depressed about that. I hate getting older. That's all for tonight. I will really work on keeping this page updated more often. Take care.

Hello. I went out a bought a little kitten yesterday! He is solid black. Such a sweetie too. I forgot how much I liked kittens, it's been so long since I've had one. When I was like 16, I used to have this little black kitten. I took it everywhere with me. I loved that little thing so much. This kitten reminds me so much of my other one. Course, I have kids now, so I can't worship the little fellow like I used to. hehehe My husband wasn't exactly happy about it. He's more of a "dog person". It's funny though cause, every since I brought the kitten home, he's been holding it nonstop! I was like, "Honeeeeeeeeey, let me hold it for awhile!" He's like, "Just a second." Men, I tell ya...

Man, I was so excited with todays weigh-in results! I plan to breeze right through the 220's by the way. No way am I getting stuck there. I will be so happy to see the scale say 22* lbs. I think my weigh in could have even been better if I had been drinking my water like I should be. I'm retaining slightly. Well, I just wanted to check in. I'm off to enjoy free day! See you.

Happy independence day! Let's all be thankful for the wonderful country we all live in.

Not much going on around here today. We mostly did all of our celebrating last night at my moms house. She cooked dinner and we did fireworks for several hours. I think we went a little overboard on the fireworks. It got to the point where the kids were even bored, there was just to damn many. When we were going through Oklahoma over the weekend, we bought a few illegal fireworks. Yeah, shame on us. Anyway, we got these things called, "Bird Bangers". It says on the package, for wild life control. I think you are supposed to shot them out of a gun. Those suckers are loud! My brother let one off on the covered porch at my parents house and about blew my damn eardrums out. We had fun though. I didn't stay within my point range, I went over by 3 damn points. Not bad I guess, considering all the food that was out there. My husband has to work tonight, so I don't think we are doing anything. I'm making hamburger helper for dinner. How American huh? :P Well, I wanted to jump in a say hello. Hope you all have a wonderful time tonight. Take care.

Hey there. My hubby and I decided to go on a road trip the day before yesterday. We loaded up and drove to Checotah, Ok. It's about four and a half hours Southeast from here. My grandparents have lived there since I can remember, so we went to stay at their house. My grandparents are no longer living there. They are getting up in years, both in their 90's and most of their family live several hundred miles away. It was just to difficult for everyone to drive back and forth to care for them, so they put their house on the market and moved into a retirement home about 15 miles away from here. The house they are selling still has electricity and furniture and pretty much everything any house would have in it. My brother is staying there for a little while to house sit for them until they can get the rest of their things moved out of it. So anyway, we decided to go visit my brother and the house. I hadn't been there since I was 15 years old. Man, it brought back a lot of memories. The house sits up on a hill at the end of a dead end dirt road. If you walk down the hill about 30 feet, there is a huge lake. It's private basically. You could skinny dip if you wanted too. :P It was a lot of fun. We went swimming and fishing. Did a few fireworks and just basically had a good time. It took us about 6 hours to get there, we got lost a few times, but only took us about 4 and a half to get back. We only spent one night there because my hubby had to go back to work the next night. I ate like a pig the whole way there and back. Because we didn't really plan this trip, it just sort of happened, I didn't have time to really think healthy. I'm sure I would have had a loss, had I not pigged out the last two days before weigh-in. Well, I'm just happy that I didn't gain either, so all is good.

I was looking on Fred's page and went to his forum. They were talking about weight loss surgery. They pointed out a few pages where these people had weight loss surgery and a year maybe several years later passed away. Hard to say if the weight loss surgery was the reason or not. I emailed one of the people to find out if it was indeed true or not and her husband emailed me back and confirmed that it was true. It is so very sad. I had looked at this page before. The other page is here. After seeing these, all I can say is. If you are considering weight loss surgery, make sure you find out everything you can about it before you decide. I find it so sad that society will not accept people if they are large. We are taught from a young age, by books, magazines, TV or whatever, that thin is in. We will do anything to get people to look at us with respect instead of disgust. It's so hard to understand. I mean, not to say the same thing that we've heard from many but, it's what's on the inside of a person that matters, not the shell of their body. People have no right to make someone feel less worthy of being a human just because they are larger then some. If you are trying to lose weight, make sure you are doing it for the right person and that is you. To hell with those that want you to change and be thinner because they are to embarrassed to be seen in public with you. To hell with having to be thin enough to show your rib cage just so people will look at you. I for one, think that is gross anyway. I would must rather have a little meat on my bones. As a matter of fact, I think I will look perfect at 160 lbs. If someone else looks at me when I do become that weight and they don't like what they see, they can kiss my ass. As a matter of fact, if someone looks at me now, weighing 233 lbs and they don't like what they see, they are welcome to kiss my ass too! I'm not getting thin for your approval. I could give a rats ass if you think I'm beautiful or not. I am losing this weight for me. So I can feel better about myself. So I can be healthy and live to see my grandchildren and maybe even great grandchildren. That is a lot more important to me than what you think of my body or my weight So on that note, just remember why you are losing weight and make sure it's for the right reasons.

I've been doing very well. I told you guys I was going to and I just had to prove it. True, it's only been a few days now, but it's actually pretty easy, once you set your mind to it. I'm sure I will still struggle. Hell I have struggled a few times, but, it's easier to think it out now and just turn the other way. I'm excited! I haven't been this excited about this since the beginning. My size 18's are getting loose on me! Getting baggy in the butt and legs. I can't wait to buy a size 16! I haven't weighed myself all week and that is amazing for me. Can't wait to see weigh-in day, hope I'm not disappointed. Well, nevermind that. I don't care what the number says, well yeah I do, a little, but the scale doesn't say how many inches I've lost, or how much more healthy I'm getting, and those are important too, actually, more so.

Took the kids to watch Scooby Doo tonight, it was pretty cute. That will be one we'll buy on DVD when it comes out. Oh yeah, kids loved it too. hehe Well, my mind in blank, so I guess it's time to call it a night. See you all later.

Well, weigh-in day wasn't bad I guess, considering I am having my monthly and I'm retaining water bad. I made a pretty good entry on my message board, I thought I'd save myself some time and just post it here. I'm not sure how many people read my message board but not my journal or read my journal but not my message board, so if you are reading this twice, I apologize. Actually, two entries I want to post.