| ask the experts |
| nick |
| leroy |
| alistair |
| lewis |
| The 298 B-boys take time out to answer your questions and help solve your problems. Each expert has a range of specialist subjects and they will draw from their considerable knowledge to help with any of your enquiries. |
| Dear Dicks As two young, single girls about Islington, we were wondering if you could give us a few pointers on how to make advances towards elligible batchelors. Is it considered good form to approach shouting SHIT ARSE as loud as possible, whilst trying to bundle the young gentleman to the ground? It would be much appreciated if you could reply to this matter. Many thanks. xx P.S. What's the best way to get sand out of your knickers? Michelle and friend, Islington Nick writes: Two of you; one of me...!? Exactly how much appreciation are we talking here? Would both of you appreciate it? I certainly can't see a problem with the hands on approach, though cries of SHIT ARSE may serve to startle rather than seduce (which may work to your advantage if you're aesthetically challenged). Certainly worth a bash! - Happy hunting. Alistair writes: Assuming your not butt ugly, I think you'll find that most men are shallow enough to jump at the first offer they recieve (I know I am). The problem, in my opinion, lies more in finding an elligible batchelor than winning him over. A great place to start (if you can hold on for this long) would be the dickswithoutchicks.com, invite only Mega Party, to be held at the Lincoln Lounge on Saturday, 2nd November - I'll make sure you recieve an invitation.... I thought SHIT ARSE was one word? Lewis writes: You dumbasses didn't respond to the last, and most important question - "what's the best way to get sand out of your knickers?" !! My great aunt used to swear by her multi purpose hoover (and attachments), but then she always had a strange look on her face. I checked my extensive video collection and it would seem that the best way to remove underwear and other foreign objects would seem to be to get a buxom blonde friend to remove the offending item of clothing and rub of any remaining sand sometimes using other impliments... then some guy with a tash turns up but them i'm not sure if that will help. Leroy writes: I don't wear any knickers. Gene writes: Educators are "damn liars", and most EVIL of all animals. They do not deny the charge of being EVIL word bastards. The invented word god and the STUPID scientists recognize only a 1-day earth rotation. I demonstrated an absolute unrefutable proof of 4 days simultaneously in a single rotation of the Cubic Earth. |
| And our expert of the month is......... |
| Gene Ray - The brains behind the Time Cube Theory and self-proclaimed most intelligent man in the universe! "There is no human entity, as there are but human cubics, via 4-corner metamorphosis" |