| ask the experts |
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| nick |
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| leroy |
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| alistair |
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| lewis |
| The 298 B-boys take time out to answer your questions and help solve your problems. Each expert has a range of specialist subjects and they will draw from their considerable knowledge to help with any of your enquiries. |
| Dear Lewis and guys, I live in Canada, I successfully have my own Igloo and a kick ass dog sled team. I enjoy masturbation and corn chips but I am wondering if there is more to life. Can you please explain the meaning of life? Mal X (42) lewis writes: Hi Malcolm, I'm glad to hear you live in Canada. In reply to your question, taking into account where you live i would say no, there isn't more to life. Most Canadians enjoy masturbation and corn chips so take comfort in knowing that you aren't alone. You may find cleaning your igloo to be therapeutic and it will give you time away from whacking yourself into an early grave. Running a successful dog sled team is a healthy pastime and should provide you with invaluable physical exercise. Good luck and keep on whacking. Alistair writes: It sounds like you have things pretty sorted out there in seal-clubbing country. I think that there can be little more to life than masturbation and dog sleds. My only piece of advice is that you look to the Lord for guidance and higher meanings to your existance. Perhaps this website of inspirational statues will help. CLICK HERE Leroy Writes: Seriously consider salads you FWAT FWUCK Leatherface writes: You indeed sound like you are happy as a pig in shit but I think you are lacking one thing: a chainsaw. This will allow you to cut people up willy-nilly and you can use an igloo to store a dismembered corpse as you feed your victims to your team of hungry dogs. Just remember to watch out where the huskies go and don't you eat no yellow snow. |
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| Dear Alistair Why doesn't anyone take me seriously? I am a super rich DJ, renowned comic satirist, and all round good guy. Just because I have a few extra pounds it shouldn't count against me. Please shed some light on why my highly desirable DJ-ing job has led only to birds running a country mile and men to point and titter. Click here to see my photo. C. Moyles 28 Alistair Writes: Being over weight is a problem many of us face and the cruelest problem is the way it repulses the opposite sex. However if you meet someone you really like you have to let them get to know the REAL you, let them see what a great personality you have and what a kind giving person you are on the inside... once you've done this they are sure to let you touch their privates: Leroy Writes: Seriously consider salads you FWAT FWUCK Leather face Writes: Seriously consider salads you FWAT FWUCK... or chainsaws. |
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| And our expert of the month is......... |
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| Leatherface, His areas of expertise include: Skincare, the safe handling of forestry equipment, arts and crafts, dismemberment and the proper storage of cadavers. |
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