| ask the experts |
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| nick |
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| leroy |
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| alistair |
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| lewis |
| The 298 B-boys take time out to answer your questions and help solve your problems. Each expert has a range of specialist subjects and they will draw from their considerable knowledge to help with any of your enquiries. |
| Dear Guys, I am a 25 five year old Greek boy with a rather limited amount of hair on my scalp. This is not however my problem. The bitter truth is that I have not had a shag or any sort of other sexual intimacy in more than a year. I am getting suicidal. What do you reckon is the best way to put an end to my misery? Nick or any of the other guys is welcome to contribute a fulfilling as well as scientific response. Nick writes: Although your main cause of concern is of a sexual, not follicular nature, I do think that the two are entirely connected as hair plays a significant role in each of our lives. Hair disorder, especially when severe, often profoundly affects the lives of those afflicted. Severe hair loss evokes not only cosmetic concerns but also feelings of vulnerability (nakedness), loss of self-esteem, alterations in self-image, and perhaps even self-identity. A skilled caesaries lembus, or hair technician, can help you when the thinning is only in certain areas. If you are thinning in the front, the hairline is creeping back at the temple and scalp. To minimise this condition ask your cosmetic technician to trim the forward part short, while letting the hair at the sides grow longer; thus allowing you to achieve the well known "comb over". This can be combined with a lengthening of the hair at the back to create the 'Michael Bolton mullet'. If your hair is fine, you're going to have a harder time covering the bald spot. You might want to try what's known in the trade as a "swell" perm, a mild perm that increases hair volume. Such a light perm will hardly be recognisable to others. Alistair writes: Whilst suicide is an extreme response to not getting your hole I'd recommend 'going out with a bang' simply wander down to kings cross with around �50 (you should be able to get this by selling an organ or two, you won't be needing them) then paying one of the ladies of the night for the 'full service' (an extra 10 if you want them to put down their can of special brew), once this fine specimen of a woman has had her way with your wedding tackle and the various bacteria and viruses have hold you'll soon be pushing up daises. Lewis writes: Your lack of success with the opposite sex may have something to do with your clothing. Why not try mixing it up a little in the fashion department by getting an all in one 70's style body suit? It just so happens there is such an item of clothing available for purchase on the DWC classified ads page. Happy Shagging!! Leatherface writes: If you're in the market for a chainsaw my personal recommendations go to Stihl and Husqvarna. They are both excellent chainsaws and will last a long time, given proper maintenance. They are excellently engineered pieces of equipment for their weight to power/chain speed ratio. The Stihls require metric tools and the Husqvarnas do not. Both have excellent bone and sinew cutting capabilities so the choice is really down to personal preference. Happy shagging!! |
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| Dear Alistair I am a young guy, a friend of Nicks brother, James, and I wonder how such an obviously intelligent and sophisticated chap could have a brother who is as much of a cad as Dr.Dunn - I mean how could a toe-rag like James be related to an obviously intelligent and sophisticated chap like Nick. Byran Todger(37), Swindon Alistair writes: Genetics is a dark science with many stones yet unturned. It is obvious from the sibling variety of Mr Dunn and Dr Dunn that they have crawled out from one such stone, one into the shining sunlight of excellence and the other into a small pile of dog poo, possibly Labrador. No doubt they will soon become the subject of some sort of research, at which time perhaps they will also figure out why Nick's hair can pick up radio 4. Leatherface writes: A chain saw is the most dangerous hand tool that can be purchased on the open market. It requires no license and no training to own or operate. Approximately 40,000 injuries and deaths were reported last year in the United States alone. Think about that on a worldwide scale and those are some pretty scary statistics I'm sure you'll agree. |
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| And our expert of the month is......... |
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| Leatherface, His areas of expertise include: Skincare, the safe handling of forestry equipment, arts and crafts, dismemberment and the proper storage of cadavers. |
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