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Guilt and Other Old Friends

October 14th, 2001

Participants: Dick Grayson and Cassandra Cain

Scene: With a brief lull and a little free time, Dick decides to drop back by Barbara's apartment, this time to check in on Cassie -- the recently injured Batgirl. Of course, visiting with someone who doesn't talk or socialize a great deal can be a rather interesting experience...

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Barbara Gordon's Apartment [Clock Tower]
The apartment isn't a large one, though it's comfortable for one person, perhaps two. The kitchen and dining area is in one room, and there is a small living room, with a TV set. There's also a pair of bedrooms, one for Barbara and a spare. Barbara's is enchanced with the needed equipment so she can move from the chair to the bed without assistance. Everything in this apartment has been sized down, so a woman in a wheelchair can access it, including the cabinets, the freezer, the dining table, the bed and the TV, among other pieces of furniture.
People and Things:
Cassie

Other exits: [FD] Front Door to Top Floor

With a quiet chime, the elevator doors open at the top of the clock tower, revealling the dimly lit hallway. Backlit only by the lights within the elevator, Dick steps out and strides quickly across the short intervening space to the single doorway present on the floor. At least it makes it easy to pick out the right apartment. Glancing towards the discretely placed camera perched in one corner, the young man raps his knuckles three times against the door before taking a step back and tucking his hands behind his back, resting them idly even as his eyes flicker absently up towards the camera.

The camera moves about as you step out of the elevator registering your arrival. Considering the amount of technology which resides within the apartment and throughout the building, it should come as no real surprise when a faint 'click' can be heard as the door unlocks from within. The door however doesn't open automatically that might be too easy even for one of Oracle's little defensive traps.

Well, at least there's someone home. It would have been a shame to have dropped by and found no one around. When the faint clicking noise sounds in the quiet hallway, Dick pushes open the heavy door and steps into the apartment quietly, allowing the door to close behind him, once again sealing off the comfortable apartment from the rather barren hallway beyond. "Babs? Cassie? Anyone home?" he calls out cheerily, shrugging off his jacket and idly gripping it by the collar, letting his gaze circle the living room slowly.

The hallway is empty and the apartment fairly quiet except for the drone of electronics coming from other rooms. While things might appear to be empty a brief glimpse of a shadow can be seen moving farther down the hall perhaps suggesting the lock's opening was manual and not mechanical. Yet there is no response to your calling out or the reapparance of the figure which caused the shadow in the first place.

Well now, not quite the greeting he had imagined. When no answer is immediately forthcoming to his own inquiry, Dick's brow furrows somewhat and he quickly lets his gaze do another sweep through the room. It is then that he catches the faint hint of motion, the bare movement of a shadow moving across the wall down the hall before disappearing. A frown of concern quickly slides into place on his dark features and he tosses his jacket aside, flinging it towards a nearby chair before he darts down the hallway. 'Barbara... Cassie?" he calls out again, his voice no longer quite so chipper.

There's no sign of danger to be seen as you dart down the hallway, in fact the apartment seems rather peaceful as you pass doors to other parts of the apartment. At the end of the hall the shadowed figure steps into one of the bedrooms and at that range you can easily identify the figure as Cassandra and at least not a stranger within even if she hasn't responded to any of your calls to this point.

Coming to an abrupt halt at the end of the hallway, Dick's worried frown gives way to simple concern as he catches sight of Cassandra standing there. Perhaps he came at a bad time? Or something. "Are you all right Cassie? I didn't wake you up or something, did I?" he inquires, the frown starting to slide back onto his features. Yep, he should have called first. He really needs to stop just dropping in. Oh well.

"Fine," the girl says as she turns to watch you from the door way. Not always the most talkative member of the family the girl has almost returned to her mute-like state it seems though she does remember her manners at least, "You?" With the question asked her shoulder comes to rest on the door frame almost tiredly which considering the fight just shy of a week ago perhaps that's to be expected.

Taking note of her posture, Dick chooses not to comment on the matter as he simply dips his head in acknowledgement, his own stance finally relaxing. "I'm doing alright," he replies before shrugging his shoulders easily. "A bit tired. Late nights and all that," he continues on, offering a faint half smile. "I thought I'd stop by and check in on you. See how you were doing and see if you needed anything?"

Cassie glances over her shoulder in the direction of the room's window, where from the glass and uneaten sandwich it might be taken that the girl had been sitting there looking out for some time before your arrival. The girl's mouth opens and then shuts as she turns her head back around to watch you in silence for a moment and then in avoidance of your comments and questions she offers quietly, "Hungry?"

At her evasion -- or at least avoidance -- of his not quite asked questions, Dick's eyebrow quirks upward ever so slightly though he allows the matter to drop for the time being. "No, I'm fine," he says with a small shake of his head. "I grabbed something before I left the manor. But don't let that stop you," he replies with an easy smile, taking a few steps back down the hallway before pausing to lean against the wall himself. His mouth begins to open slightly as if to ask another queston, but it abruptly closes again as he falls silent. Sometimes it's best to not push.

The girl shakes her head slightly, "Not hungry," she answers quietly prepared to fall into silence once more before a bit of curiousity rises to the surface, "Everything ok?", she asks meaning the city and the others which would result in your late nights and from what she is able to put togther staying at the mansion and not just making the commute from Bludhaven. Its the first interest she's shown of what's going on since her release from the cave 5 days ago and while she's since changed from the borrowed clothes which might have belonged once to you, Tim or Jason they're folded neatly on the edge of the bed behind her.

Okay. Now there's a relative term. Dick grows serious once more, a small shrug gracing his shoulder as he straightens from where he leans against the wall. "As good as you might expect with Hatter, Bane, Joker and now Harley running about making trouble. We're mostly staying on top of things -- although not enough seeing as they're still loose," he continues, the frown finally creeping back over his expression. Above, the gentle sound of rain can be heard, falling upon the roof with it's unmistakable noise -- a gentle autumn rainstorm.

Once more the girl turns to look over her shoulder though this time most of her body follows until her back rests against the door frame and she can both watch the drops of rain as they hit the window as well as watch you. Brown eyes remain more focused on drops then you or so it seems though its only because the girl searches for the words to ask the question that is forming in her thoughts. And then those almond shaped eyes turn back to look at you, "This is because I failed?"

And there it is. It is hardly an original thought amongst those who do this sort of work. And indeed, such thoughts were ones he had had many times previously himself. "No," Dick replies firmly, a short, sharp shake of his head accompanying that one simple word. "A lot of things were unnexpected that night, and more then enough went wrong. But that doesn't have anything to do with you," he continues on, voice quieter though no less resolute in that conviction.

Batman said it wasn't her fault and you are saying that as well but the slight tilt of her head which lowers her gaze to the ground in front of you suggests she doesn't believe it. She doesn't say she should have known, that would only point out the fact its her own short comings that she didn't or put the blame on those she follows for not having told her. The silence hangs while these thoughts occupy her mind, "You will get them?", she finally asks knowing she'll have no part in it.

It is not difficult to guess what's going on in Cassandra's head, but then Dick has been there before. He's been in the position of having people entrust him with something and not quite measure up to the task -- at least in his own eyes. And it's a feeling that just won't go away quickly, irregardless of how many assurances one receives. "We'll get them," he replies quietly, nodding his head slowly, once. "Sooner or later, we always do." And that's the truth at least. Hesitating for a moment, his gaze sweeps past her to the window beyond, staring past the water droplets that run down it's slick, smooth surface outside. "Sooner or later we all go through this Cassie. All of us. Even Batman. You couldn't have known what to expect and most importantly, you managed to keep yourself from getting really badly hurt," he continues on quietly, gaze swinging back to her. Well... it could have been worse.

Cain had taught her to always be prepared and to be prepared for anything and here she was laid flat by a stuffed animal of all things. What he would do to her if he ever found out and got hold of her she doesn't want to even think about. As your gaze returns to her, her own gazes back to the window to watch the drops as the strike the window and then slide down the pane. What can she say to you she wonders that would make you understand, but she can't find the words to say the confused thoughts she has, "Thank you," is all she manages.

No words exist to make this sort of thing easier -- something Dick knows all to well. Still, it's instinctive to try and lessen the doubts such an encounter can have, even though it ultimately will provide little if any immediate relief. "We're not perfect Cassie. You'll drive yourself crazy if you try to be, or you'll end up cutting yourself off from everything. Neither one is healthy," he continues on quietly, finally walking down the hallway to join her near the doorway, his eyes fixed on the window as well as he watches the rain fall beyond the glass pane, the dark stormclouds casting their veil across the city. "You got a painful lesson the other night. To take nothing for granted when dealing with madmen like the Hatter. But in the end, no one else got hurt and you'll heal. All things considered, that's not bad. And you'll never forget the lesson. It'll be with you forever."

"Forget?", she asks you knowing she'll never forget and to prove her point she reaches towards her right shoulder and pulls the collar down exposing just her shoulder but giving you a view of just some of the scars that mark her body. The scars are warped slightly, a result of the girl having grown since they were inflicted in training with her 'father'. As she lets go of her shirt the material remains stretched slightly and the hand only strays so far as to rest on her upper arm causing an almost protective stance though its not intentional, "Should have been ready, shouldn't have let him get away." And now she'll have no part in his capture or anything else.

Turning towards her briefly, Dick eyes the noticable scars for a moment before lifting his gaze to her face once more, staring at her calmly. So the visible scars have been revealed. The problem is the invisible ones -- the ones buried deep inside. Those are the ones that can truly leave a lasting impression. "Perhaps. I could argue with you about that, but I can understand the sentiment. Afterall Batman and I should have made sure that Bane didn't get away and we failed there too," he replies quietly, fixing that level stare on her for a moment longer. It's almost hard to remember that he was just as young as her once -- just as untried. "But you're making just as big a mistake now if you're spending your time blaming yourself for it. Self-reproach is pointless. It doesn't produce anything. If you think you made a mistake, take a lesson from it," he says, the earlier sympathy vanishing for a moment. It's not hard to see that that is not what is wanted nor required and the young man obliges -- at least temporarily.

No sympathy is the farthest thing from her mind and she's actually grateful to your reaction to her, she might wish at times to have had a normal life as a kid buts another thing for someone else to feel sorry for you. "Not blaming myself," she says quietly as her own brown eyes meet your blue ones for a moment, "Just not blaming anyone else." Does that make any sense, she's not sure of the words as she hears them in her own ears. Batman wants her to spend her time learning to read and healing, but Cassandra has other thoughts even if she's not sure of any of them at the moment. Locked up here in the apartment isn't helping her come to any answers and looking out the window hasn't helped much at all.

With an answering nod, Dick seems to hear something he can appreciate as he finally offers a new half-smile in reply. "Good enough. I didn't expect that you were up here brooding about what you might have done differently, but I wanted to make sure," he replies quietly, regarding her for a moment before his gaze turns towards the window overlooking the city beyond the tower. Between the dark clouds and the darkening skies indiciating the approach of dusk, the city is lit up by the lights of apartments and homes. "I know it's not easy just sitting around here waiting. Actually, it's probably the worst part, and I doubt you like it any more then the rest of us. But you'll be healed quickly enough," he continues, his tone lighter now then before, his eyes going back and forth between the window and her. "Then at the very least you can get back to training. Even Batman won't deny you that. In the meantime, look on this as a chance to do some other things." Of course, considering his own reaction when Batman forbid him to be Robin in times past, it's not hard to imagine just how difficult Cassandra finds this long wait -- and the quiet that comes with it.

"Other things?", the girl asks you curiously as if you're suggesting something totally unheard of. All she knows is training and going out at night and the few times she's thought she'd maybe made a friend, well she wonders if that wasn't just her imagination or a big mistake. As you look out the window her gaze drops to that pile of clothes on the bed noting she was sent home in those and not her costume. Logic tells her she couldn't return home in the daylight dressed as Batgirl, but the part of her that is an insecure teen tells her otherwise.

A small shrug ripples across Dick's shoulders and he finally turns away from the window as he begins to wander back down the hall a few steps before turning towards her once more. "Sure. Babs has a huge database with information that you could look over. It's not the most fascinating reading all the time, but it does offer you the opportunity to get to know some of the threats out there a little better," the young man replies with an absent shrug. "Or you could actually get out and about a little more often and not have to stick to the rooftops. We all need to step out for behind the mask every once in awhile. Enjoy yourself a bit. You won't always have the time," he suggests. But then again, he hasn't always been terribly good about taking that same advice himself.

Cassie sighs softly and then leans her head back against the door frame, "Can't read," she says barely over her breath though its hardly anything that's a secret especially as she's only been speaking for less then a year. If she could read she'd have known more about Mad Hatter and things would have gone different, she'd have just stepped away from the bunny instead of grabbing it and tossing it. She did agree to learning from whoever Batman sent over to teach her but as more time passes her interest in learning wains as her doubts of what she's been doing grows.

A brief flicker of surprise crosses Dick's features as he catches the comment, though it fades away almost at once and he simply nods in reply. Well then... lets cross off the notion of scanning Barbara's little information warehouse. "Well then I imagine that Batman has already given you an assignment to work on. I'm sure that we can help you out in that department if you're interest," he replies with a thoughtful nod. Certainly, it's a skill that would help a great deal. So much of what they do is far beyond mere physical action. As Oracle has proven time and time again, information is their biggest ally.

The girl doesn't just see the surprise in your face but also how your body reacts to the news of one of her short comings and perhaps the real reason she was caught off guard during that fight. Shoulders rise and fall as the girl lets out her breath in a sigh, "He said he'd send someone," not that he'd help as your words at least suggest to the rather naive teen. With a sudden thought the girl's brown eyes drift in your direction, "You came to see Babs?", she asks wondering if the offer is a result of the woman who's home she lives in.

Waving a hand at that, Dick gives a small shake of his head and slouches against the wall once more, resting one hand against the side of his face as he leans there. "No, not really. I'll stop by to check in on her some other time. I mainly wanted to check on you and see how you were coming along," he replies with a smile, raking his free hand back through his dark hair before letting it fall to his side once more. "We were understandably worried about you the other night. Batman especially. And since I had sometime before nightfall, I thought I'd see if you needed anything. Even if it was just someone to chat with for a bit," he says as a wry smile crosses over his face. He has not exactly done especially well in realizing his goals thus far. By hey, sometimes it's the thought that counts.

It takes all the girl's control not to turn her head in a surprised jerk to look at you as you say yourself and Batman were worried about her. Cain would never have worried about her at least not that he'd ever let get back to her and your words catch her off guard. She's healing even the broken bones will mend in time, and maybe some down time will be for the best though she will never admit that to herself but the knowledge she'll heal does result in a slight smile in response to yours, "Thank you, for coming?", she half asks not sure if that's the right thing to say under the circumstances.

A faint smile slides over Dick's features and he shakes his head slightly. "Not at all. I was glad to," he replies at once as the staccato rhythm of the rain picks up in intensity, splattering down quite noisily against the roof and windows of the apartment. A quiet rumble of thunder sounds in the distance, a deep booming sound the speaks of the storm to come. Oh yes, it's going to be a lovely evening to patrol tonight. For a moment he can almost envy her... but only for a moment.

The sound of thunder helps to bring the girl's thoughts to the here and now and away from those thoughts she can't quite put a finger on. "It's going to be a bad night, it should be quiet," the girl says noting in those few words that she doesn't think many criminals will be out tonight afraid of the weather perhaps.

Scrunching up his features somewhat in at least feigned distaste, Dick's gaze once again sweeps past her to the window in her room. The sky ripples with lightning, lighting up the sky for a moment to outline the dark stormclouds that move towards the city. "More then likely," he agrees wryly as his features smooth once more. "It's shaping up to be quite the storm it looks like. At least it'll be good for something. Gotham can use all the quiet nights it can get," he muses, the humour draining away from his words. Isn't that the truth. If a city can be said to be unlucky, Gotham certainly would qualify.

Good for staring out of the window and thinking if nothing else though from your earlier words she'll be glad if it provides you an easy night where you can relax some. Turning her head towards you the girl glances at you quietly for a moment before she speaks, "If you come back in the morning Babs will be here." Ok so she doesn't really believe you came to check up on her after all, but then she's hardly blind to how the two of you act together.

His gaze shifts slightly as he glances towards her askance, brow arching slightly as an amused smile spreads across his face once more. "I'll stop by sometime in the next little while to check in with her," Dick replies as his smile broadens into a grin before pointedly adding, "And you. I have a few more days before I have to be getting back to Bludhaven," he continues as the storm continues to rumble outside. His amusement is evident however. Now really. They aren't really all that bad. At least not most of the time. Are they? Hrmmmm.

Cassie nods her head slowly before returning your smile with one of her own though its much more subdued, "See things," she says remind you of her ability to read things in people's bodies that most would miss. But then body language was the only type of language she understood for most of her life and she hears and understands it like you understand a spoken conversation.

Allowing that observation to pass without comment, Dick merely nods his head non-commitally though the wry grin remains etched across his features as he does so. "Good. Well, I think I've taken up enough of your time, so I'll let you get back to your recovery," he says, straightening from where he leans against the wall and slowly walking back towards the living room at the front of the apartment. "You rest up and get yourself feeling better. And relax a little. You've earned it," he comments with another smile as he fetches his jacket from where he tossed it earlier. "I'll stop by in the next day or so to check in on you and Babs so if you need anything, let me know."
Cassie's own smile fades from her face at the mention of her recovery but then for someone used to action the reaction isn't all that much of a surprise. Turning to follow you with her eyes if not actually escorting you to the girl nods her head slightly to nothing in particular, "Be careful out there," and then when you've picked up your jacket she steps into the bedroom to take her place by the window.