| December 28, 2000 Today was supposed to be the day for my facelift but my doctor got sick. 104 degree temperature so he's home in bed. It's now reset for the 16th of January. Oh well, the third time will be a charm right? My fault entirely. If I hadn't taken those vitamins......... My Christmas was an ok one. I got some nice stuff from my mom, sister and brother, things like rings, bracelets and nice sweaters. Things for a woman so that was nice. I got a card from my daughter but she only signed it, not writing anything in the card. But that's better than my son, he didn't even bother to send a card. They're making it easy to cut the ties with the past, leaving all behind me. I will continue to do as my psychologist suggest however and keep writing letters to them. Four more years I'll try. If they still don't want anything to do with me then at least I tried. Tell me again why I froze, got bug bites, stayed up late, got up early, spent hundreds of thousands of dollars, sat through band concert after band concert, drove from here to yonder and all those other goodies in the typical life of a parent. Oh yeah! Because you love them. Good enough for me............ January 4, 2001 My journey is almost over. I have made a decision to close this site down soon. It's been a place for me to vent my frustrations, fears, and anger. But it's also been someplace that allowed me to make some new friends and "show off" a little. When I started this, almost two years ago, I wanted the world to know I existed. That was a reflection of the hollowness inside. My life is now such that I feel I won't be having that problem for very long. January 8, 2001 Dr. Terry called today and asked me to keep up part of my site. She said I didn't realize how many girls have read it and have been helped. Ok, it will stay up. The part that can help those in trouble anyway. January 25, 2001 I got some wonderful, wonderful news today! My mom called and said my daughter had sent me a card. I told her to open it and it was a nice letter from her with FIVE pages of hand written recipes! That is the most wondeful letter I could have gotten. There is hope after all it seems.............. :-) February 13, 2001 I'm almost all packed and ready to go to Texas. I'm leaving on Monday, probably very early in the morning because I'm looking at an 18 to 20 hour drive. I'm flying my younger brother up so he can help with the drive and just be there if something goes wrong. A woman traveling alone is at risk so I feel a lot better with him coming. I'll miss it here, the friends I've made and the town in general. But I feel very strongly that I must leave to finish what I've started - there are too many memories here. March 7, 2001 Well, I moved! It was a pain, but it got done. My room is shaping up and most everything is unpacked now. Last Saturday I went looking for a job but without success. I really didn't want anything now anyway because I leave for Phuket in a few weeks. I'm a little afraid of the operation but look forward to it too. It's hard to explain, but now that the time is near I realize how final all of this is. The good part is I REALLY am eager to get started with my new life. I have no regrets, well, I wish I had done this many years ago. Now about the facelift. I seem to have some small scars under my eyes where they were infected. They're not bad and a little dermabrasion will remove them easily. So I guess you can say I didn't get 100% of what I wanted, but the after-effects of FFS have been fixed. April 8, 2001 (in the US) It's all over, I went and did it! I had my SRS on the 29th of March (the 28th in the US) and am doing fine. I have lots and lots to talk about but that will have to wait until I get home. Suffice it to say I'm fine and will be leaving the hospital tomorrow. I guess I could comment on the hospital and it's staff: First class. Dr. Sanguan is a real gentleman and knows his stuff. The nurses don't understand everything you say but you get by just fine. I met some people here that have made the stay actually kind of fun (and that's saying a lot when you consider I had to stay in bed for 5 days without getting out for ANYTHING!! This is all I'm going to write now. I still get tired very easily and you have to pay by the minute here! LOL |
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