Jeff
“Aug” Augustine- A pioneer of the game and
one of it’s founding fathers, he’s a sluggish, squatty,
heavy beer drinker…who thinks he can pitch, but does best
to just clap and cheer on his teammates.
Keith
“Champ” Heuring- A heavy hitter with a knack
for producing flatuence mid-swing. Also drinks heavily.
Shawn
“Ol’ Boy” Huston- Native American who
runs the bases and chases down flyballs like he’s chasing
down game out on the open frontier. Swings the bat like Paul Bunyan
and an all around good guy. Borderline alcoholic.
Brian
“B” Brandtner- Deceptive pitcher, one of the
game’s best. Believed to be the only player in World Series
history to pitch a full game with a “stye” in his eye.
Did the team breakfast that year have anything to do with that??
Still won’t admit he has a drinking problem.
Mark
“Big Lew” Lewis- Next to the definition of
wiffleball in the dictionary would be Lewis’ picture. A true
veteran of the game…he plays the game the way it should be
played…swing hard, hit it hard, run as fast as you can, and
try not to kill yourself. Closet alcoholic.
Jamie
“Lil’ Lew” Lewis- Ironically, many of
the same Lewis genes did not pass along to Jamie…he is much
slimmer and faster than Mark and can hit the ball a long way…and
for some reason he is always wearing a hat?!? Known for drinking
a six pack in six minutes.
Billy
“Bildo” Huston- Another new Diablo but a seasoned
veteran when it comes to wiffleball. Known for his bigger than life
swing, he is a lefty with a lot of power to all fields. After the
Lower Companion Darkside Monkies let him slip away to free agency,
Steinbrenner(aka “El Conquistidor”) picked him up. Famous
for his sleeper hold and his affair with “Mickey’s”
malt beverage.
