| 2-3-02 god, it feels so good doing things again, so i don't have any friends here in carlsbad yet, my coworkers as yet don't seem the type of people i would like to consort with on a regular basis, but hey they might surprise me, at least i'm at school and i'm writing things again. creativity is my friend. when i was living in the apartment (as stated in the prvious news) i never did anything creative, i hardly used my mind at all, it might have died a little then... but it has been reborn or at least it's twitching enough for me to try and express some new thoughts. i'm very close to putting up what i have pertaining to the songs i'm writing for/about kara. i may not exactly feel the way i do for her as i did for the last two girls i did most of my writing about, but at least she's a good subject, and i can project all the good feelings that i've felt twords those other girls onto her and she can be the subject of my musings. Even if i don't actually feel that yerning for her, i have some one to write about and it keeps me from going to that dark place in my soul i know so well... ok, so i would like to see some of my friends, i miss you all and can't wait to see you all again. other than that life is endless once again, but i'm happy with the endlessness, the normal drudgeries are not so painful and i think i actually missed them too. ok, i'm using way too many big words here, i need to just let this be where i can write simply, without trying to prove something. no more bullshit from here on in... i hope. |