NEWS HEADLINES "SOFT DRINKS CONTAIN DANGEROUS PESTICIDES" insaan to newspaper padh sakte hain par jaanwaro ka kya hoga kyonki.. AAJ KAL CHEETA BHI PEETA HAI !

Girl to her boyfriend : Do you love me ?
Boy : Ofcourse, Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me ?
Boy :Sorry, mine is undying love!

Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double-decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunately Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush was over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Banta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death.
He says, "Arre Banta Singh ! What the heck's goin' on? Why are you so scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there?" Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a driver".

Santa:- I am proud of my Son. He is in Medical college.
Banta:- What is he studying?
Santa:- They are Studying Him!

Reporter 2 Bipasha Basu:- Aap subha uth kar sabse pehle kya karti hai?
Bipasha Basu:- Apnye ghar jati hoon...

Sardar at an art gallery:- I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art?
Art Dealer:- I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror.

2 Sardar werewalking 2gether. Pehla:- Oye! Marye gaye, meri biwi aur premika ek saath aa rahi hai.
Dusra:- Oye! Mein bhi yehi bolne wala tha.

Sardar:- Doctor, help me. Mein jab baat karta hu to mujhe sirf awaj sunai deti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.
Doctor:- Aisa kab hota hai?
Sardar:- Jab phone karta hu.

SardarJi in a bus took 2 tickets. Conductor asked y 2? Sar'Ji said if 1 z lost other z a spare. Con:- If that's also lost? Sar:- I'm nt a fool, i've a pass!!

Jo dil mein dard deta hai, usey "DILDAR" kehte hai. Aur jo sir mein dard deta hai, usey "SARDAR" kehte hai ! ! !

Jaat riding cycle hits a gal...Gal: ghanti nahi maari jaati kya?Jaat: poori cycle maar di ab ghanti alag se maroo ke?

Bill Gates was hanging out with the chairman of General Motors. "If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour." Bill Gates continued, "Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50." In response to all this goading, the GM chairman replied, "Yes, but would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"

How many sardarjis will be needed to put a nail in wall? Hundreds. Ask why? One sardar ji holds nail against wall and the rest will push the wall from other side.

Scene: trench warfare on Pakistan border, Sikh regiment on one side, suddenly Subedar Kartar Singh gets a bright idea, shouts! "Oye Abdul!" Guy pops up from other trench "Kya hai be" BANG shot dead! "Oye Karim" 2 guys stand up, "Kya hai saala" BANG BANG both khalaas "Oye Mustafa!" 2 more, BANG-BANG! dono saale khalaas! Pakis get worried, they think saala Sardarji log, when did they get so smart? Decide to try it themselves. "Abe Gurdev Singh" SILENCE..... "Oye Gurdev Singh!!" SILENCE..... "O bhai, Gurdev Singh!" "Oye Gurdev Singh ko kisne pukara?" Paki gets up, "Maine" BANG!

A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he wants.
But his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets.
The man thinks for a moment and says, "Okay, give me a million dollars and beat me till I'm half dead."

A lady walks into a bar and sees a really good-looking guy sitting at the bar by himself. She goes over and asks him what he is drinking.
"Magic Beer", he says.
She thinks he's a little crazy, so she walks around the bar, but after realizing that there is no one else worth talking to, goes back to the man sitting at the bar and says, "That isn't really Magic Beer, is it?"
"Yes, I'll show you." He takes a drink of the beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times and comes back in the window.
The lady can't believe it: "I bet you can't do that again."
He takes another drink of beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times, and comes back in the window.
She is so amazed that she says she wants a Magic Beer, so the guy says to the bartender, "Give her one of what I'm having."
She gets her drink, takes a gulp of the beer, jumps out the window, plummets 30 stories, breaks every bone in her body, and dies.
The bartender looks up at the guy and says, "You know, Superman, you're a real ass**** when you're drunk."

Four friends reunited at a party after 30 years. After a few laughs and drinks, one of them had to go to the rest room. The ones who stayed behind began talk about their kids and their successes.
The first guy says: I am very proud of my son, he is my pride and joy. He started working at a very successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration soon he was promoted and began to climb the corporate ladder becoming the General Manager and now he is the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes Benz for his birthday.
The second guy says: Damn, that's terrific!! My son is also my pride and joy, I am very proud of him. He started working at a travel agency for a very big airline. He went to flight school to become a pilot and also managed to become a partner in the company where he now owns the majority of the assets. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.
The third guy says: Well, well, well congratulations!! My son is also my pride and joy and he is also very rich. He studied in the best universities and became an Engineer. He started his own construction company and became very successful and a multimillionaire. He also gave away some thing very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday. He built a 30,000 sq ft mansion, specially for his friend.
The three friends congratulated each other mutually for the successes of their sons.
The fourth friend who earlier had gone to the restroom returned and asked: "What's going on? What are all the congratulations for?"
One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons."
And then he asked, "What about your son?"
The fourth man replied: "My son is Gay and he makes a living dancing at a nightclub."
The three friends said: "What a shame that must be, that is horrible, what a disappointment you must feel."
The forth man replied: "No, I am not ashamed. Not at all. He is my son and love him just as well, he is my pride and joy. And he is very lucky too. Did you know that his birthday just passed and the other day he received a beautiful 30,000 sq ft mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes Benz from his three boyfriends."