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| August 9th, 2001, Click Here for a Retard This boy has just got class coming out his ears. Not ONLY is he an ugly hook nose, he's wearing a Jesus shirt while asking for a cardinal sin (several times, I might add) and... he's playing nintendo games... and.. does he look at little underage to anyone else? Anyway.. how about some thoughts today, eh? NATHAN'S COMING HOME FOR A VISIT NEXT SATURDAY!!!!! Yay! hehe.. sorry.. I'm exciting. I haven't spoken to him in about 5 MONTHS... I'm pheming for my Nate. He called last night and we talked for about 3 hours. For anyone wondering, he's great, likes where he's at, isn't dead, cut his hair, got a real job ;). Everything sounds great. He's driving down to get the last of his belongings moved to Mississippi. *sigh* I kinda miss him coming over at 2 am in the morning and acting like it was noon. OH WELL.. I'll get to enjoy him Saturday before he has to leave again on Sunday.. YAY!! I'm gonna get me some Nathan. hehe.. ANYWAY.. sexual innuedos aside. Nathan.. if you ever get your computer back up to snuff and past the 486 version and actually find your way to my site (which I know you have the link) and JUST HAPPEN TO READ THIS DATE ... I love ya, man. I really do. You're a great person, and no matter how many piercings you get you're still gonna have a soft heart, kiddo. *kisses and many hugs* NOW!! Mushy stuff aside. I was reading the news today.. and OMG.. look at this PICTURE! |
| Do you SEE this shit? That's the world at night from SPACE.. *squints and looks closely* I can see the stoplight by my house, I think. hehe. Nah.. look at ALL those lights. China is nearly empty of it, same as Australia and Africa.. but LOOK at the US and Europe.. Freaking HELL GUYS!! That's some kinda JUICE you be spending. And what the hell is with this word shibby? I just heard it the other day. SHIBBY!! Who the hell thought of that one? Of course, I can understand saying it. I mean.. who the fwap do ya take me for? Hitler the fwap freak? heeh.. Shibby, you be so shibby. Wanna fwap, shibby? SHIBBY!! |
| Oh.. and Hi Aiddo. Oh yeah.. Happy B-day to My Cousins... (22nd) Billie & (18th) George, and I've got a few uncles here and there that had a birthday or two this week also.. HAPPY B-DAY FAMILY FOLKS!!! (I wonder if this gets me out of getting a present) *evil grin* I'm out. |
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| August 10th, 2001, You will never guess what I read the other day (perhaps I should stop reading.. some of this stuff is just nearly unbelievable.. and most is objectionable) These people have sex (outright sex as in "dick in pussy" sex) with DOLPHINS.. Ok.. it gets even more strange. Not only do they have SEX with Dolphins.. they consider them relationships and encourage other people to have sex with them and show them TECHNIQUES on acquiring and keeping a dolphin for a mate. *OUCH* another blow to human species mating techniques. Here's the Link if you're interested in this odd bit o' knowledge And how's about this And this is why i hate the United States. This is also an example as to why ignorant people should be shot on basis of nothing more then their fucking stupidity. It's fucking retards like this that piss me off. His site is now closed down (thank god) probably from all the "evil" masturbation gizz emailed to him. What the hell.. how can masturbation be evil when god's ANIMALS (who are innocent) do it? And what about homosexuality? I mean.. in the ANIMAL KINGDOM (to repeat, animals are innocent), dogs use homosexuality as a power play, to show the ultimately superior hound, the ALPHA male. There's one tribe of monkeys that use sexual play as a mean of correction and social status. Dolphins ALSO use sex as a social interaction. I mean.. c'mon. I would absolutely love to know if his parents were inbreed white honkey sackheaded ignorant trailer trash motherfuckers. *ponders* maybe if he masturbated, he wouldn't be so damn ugly, get some of that testosterone running through his veins and actually get some gender specific physical traits, rather than that pansy ass blob look. All of these wonderful links supplied from http://www.robotslave.net Check 'em out. You know what I'm really disappointed about? People that think I can do absolutely everything that they don't want to. Do I have a life? Yes.. yes I do. Do I do things that some people don't know about? Yes. Do I WANT to do everything everyone else tells me to? No. Do I want everything I do TOLD to me what to do? Hell NO. I'm sick of people telling me what, how, when, where, and fucking how much of my stuff to do. SICK of it. I'm sick of listening to everyone else's experiences. Having them tell me this was the worse mistake of their lifes.. and then they have the fucking gall to tell me not to do something because it WILL be the worse mistake of my life. AS far as I can tell, might as well make that mistake sometimes when I'm young instead of when i hit 80. And so WHAT if it's a mistake of mine.. by dammit.. it's MY fucking mistake. Good things come out of mistakes... relationships come out of mistakes, experiences come out of mistakes, and I'm short on those two things in my life. Mostly because I've been locked in this goddamn routine of work-sleep-work-sleep. You know, I have no social life anymore? Have I told you that? Yup. Best friend dumped me for her boyfriend/fiancee/slug. Yes. Yes Callie.. I call it YOU dumping ME.. and for WHO? DJ. Well.. good luck, and I hope ya'll have a good life together. Congratulations. At least.. that's what I call it when the only time I hear from her is either when I walk through her line at work, or I get a call from her mother to babysit her foster sister. Well... that's fun, now ain't it? Everyone else I dumped LONG ago to make room for running my own business. Whoop-dee doo. I love the business, don't get me wrong, but it puts a serious crimp on all things Dezy. Whereas all my peers are out with their respective love-ones (friends, family, co-workers) I get stuck at home daydreaming about having my own life. I live with my brother, which wouldn't be so bad, except I live next door to my work AND my parents... and my ultimate playtoy (bohemia, my computer) is at work... OH and although it hosts all my files and settings and ALL this goodstuff, it's still not mine because it's constantly being tinkered with by my father, the computer God, I always wanted to ask if I should sign in and then sign out for it like I would at the library. I can't complain about that, because he keeps it running smoothly (mostly) and I've got kick ass equipment, but.. still.. just doesn't have that ring of "mine". My car is dead, and because I don't get PAID and all the money the business makes get put back in the business, not to mention it's not worth fixing anyway, I don't have the money TO afford it nor afford a new/used vehicle. So, I'm stuck driving the mini-van or my aunt's old car. Which, I don't have a problem with either one, but it comes back to that greedy feeling of mine.. it's not MINE. Now.. I don't know WHEN I started getting that feeling of everything needing to be mine, but it's getting steadily worse. And all I can think of is.. I strive for things I don't have. And "don't have" is a big thing for me. I don't think it's the physical aspect of not having "THINGS" it's more the emotional feeling of ownership. I'm more supportive, more active and more consciencious of things that are "mine". And without anything of MINE and I'm still working for it, it really makes me feel terrible and lost and worthless. Because.. we're not worth anything in this society unless someone else finds us of value. And if I don't value myself, how is someone else going to? and therein lies my problem, I don't feel that I am worthy enough to actually apply for a mate (i.e. dating). ALSO. I'm shy. That's always been a problem. Where in the hell am I going with this? Oh.. recap 1. I need a life, because I'm bummed. 2. I need friends to get a life, because I'm bummed. I've got this fucking collar on. I'm getting mighty tired of it. I want to get rid of it, but the collar is as much of a comfort as a problem, AND I've promised to keep this collar for the rest of my life. Or at least adjust it to where it fits. But believe me, the chafing is killing me. You know one lyric I really like is this line: Can you feel that? I think we're moving in the right direction. I love that line. It's from SR-71's Empty Spaces. Altogether, a great song, and the song is on an album of OTHER great songs. The whole album is fwaptastic. I had another thought this morning, but I can't think of it right now.. OH WELL... I'm out, chil'en. |