| Justin and I met January 7th 1996 at Franciscan University of Steubenville, our college. Both of us transferred mid-semester. I was late arriving for orientation thanks to a blizzard sweeping across Pennsylvania. My mother and I had gone to a vigil mass Saturday night together so I didn't need to go Sunday. I said good-bye to my mother Sunday morning and wondered what to do next. I thought I might as well go to mass. I first noticed Justin going to communion. Wow! Of all the places to see your future husband. I didn't know at the time there was my future husband but I noticed him out of huge crowd and I just knew that Justin would be an important part of my life the moment I saw him. We met that night and hit it off. We became fast friends. I thought we were such good friends we should try dating but Justin wanted to pursue religious life. As much as I wanted to date in college God had other plans. As the college years went on I was fine with friendship but senior year I strongly felt we'd be married someday. It was weird thinking that watching Justin in a household for future priests. The priests on campus kept telling me to bring everything to prayer. I always thought I'd graduate and meet someone at home when it came to marriage. I didn't want to imagine myself with Justin but something was pulling me that way. Our senior year I finally decided my feelings were very deep regarding Justin. Either I needed to open my heart to him or really guard it. I really needed to pray about his role in my life. I cut right to the chase and did a novena to St. Therese asking for a red rose if Justin and I were called to marriage. My rationality was, "Who the heck is going to give me a rose, let alone a red one when I like yellow ones?" Confident I would not be getting a rose I chatted on my bed with some household sisters. To my surprise another household sister named, Lisa, came in with red roses for all of us. She wanted to give us red roses because they are a Deo Volente symbol and she wanted to apologize for missing so many household functions. I remember feeling a lot of joy and fear because Justin was well on his way to religious life and joining a discerning household. Here it was senior year and he was in a household that didn't allow dating. How was this going to work? But wooh-who I was called to marry Justin. I wanted to let him discern and find his own path but listening to him talk estatically about religious orders he wanted to visit stressed the heck out of me. It eventually bugged me so much I told Justin about the novena and rose. He came up with the idea of not talking to one another until a few days before graduation. Here it was October! AAAHHHH! Lots of people on campus dismissed getting rose. "Red roses are common." and "Lisa gave it to you as a give and not because St. Therese inspired her to." Ah, the mind of an FUS student. I was really starting to believe those things. One person jokingly said, "Lots of people get red roses. If you really want to see if your called to marry Justin ask for a plaid rose." Plaid rose, like a kilt, like a Catholic shcool uniform. Sure, why not. I figured by asking for the impossible I'd know for sure and could avoid getting my heart broken. How in the world would I ever get a plaid rose. I started the plaid rose novena on Christmas break. Away from the majority of people I knew that may give me a rose. My family had never given me a rose and who else was there. I spent my winter break working at J.C.Penney's once again confident I wouldn't be getting a rose. That confidence was shattered when the J.C. Penney seamstress walked by my register and tossed a PLAID ROSE at me. She had no idea the significance of a plaid rose and was taken aback by my barage of questions. Aparently, she'd been altering a vest and had some plaid fabric left over. She made a rosette while chatting with someone like someone would play with their hair. It was at that moment I broke out in hives and stayed broken out until Amalia made me go to the campus nurse for a shot. In 1998 I graduated with a degree in TV/Radio Broadcasting and Justin with a degree in theology. I went along with the not talking Justin wanted very painfully thinking we'd definitly date after graduation. Nope. I even stayed in Ohio for the summer while Justin finished his pre-theologate stuff thinking it would give him more of a window to change his mind. Nope. Well, I did manage to get him on one actual date complete with making out. I figured if we made-out he might change his mind and be my boyfriend. Justin figured it was his last chance to make out with a girl before becoming a priest. Lucky me. Before he left, he once again left me hanging that maybe we'd date after he did N.E.T. (a year long teen ministry that travels the country) for a year. After N.E.T. we got together twice. He came to NH with a bunch of friends but we never got a chance to talk. Then I went to Baltimore. We drove to Mt. St. Mary's to see another college buddy. John Jacob, who was studying to be a priest. What else, right? On the way home our car broke down in Frederick, Maryland. We had to get a hotel for the night. Getting a hotel did give us a huge chance to talk. He still didn't want to date me. In fact, he'd picked an order he was joining. Months later he called to say 'goodbye forever' because the order he picked was very closed to the world. I didn't know how our path's would cross with him in a religious order. I was called to marry this guy? A guy who was attracted to thin, olive skinned, brunettes and had thrice broken my heart? Devasted, I started dating other people and actually did get engaged to someone else (another story that ended happily for everyone). Christmas of 2000 a card came from Justin. Implying but not saying he was in love with me. I must admit, I was shocked and a little angry since I'd givien him many chances in college to date me. I called Amalia to vent before I called Justin. He said he left the order and was in love with me. It took me almost a month to realize I was still in love with him and that I'd rather live in a box with him than a mansion with my fiance. The three of us got together to talk and I think my fiance could sense the end was near when I asked permision to make-out with Justin. I wasn't sure how it would be when I saw Justin again but once I was at his place I couldn't leave his side and I was happier than I'd been in a long time. We ended up looking for work in Alabama where it was possible for both of us to work in our fields and be on neutral territory at EWTN (Eternal Word Television Network). I got a job working in technical operations and/or master control and Justin got a job in viewer services. We were there from 2001-2004. The friend we were driving out to see when our car broke down married us and in 2005 we moved to the town of Frederick where we broke down! It's been an epic saga that any of our friends or parents could tell you about. Maybe it will be my next screenplay. |
| Justin's Point of View |
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| The Story |
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| Home - The Story - Capulets - Montagues - The Wedding |
| Dawn-Marie's Point of View (long, but an amazing story) |
| two of thinking and praying about it, I decided! "I'm going to be a priest! Or maybe a brother!" About a week later, I spoke to a very wise counselor and priest at Steubenville who advised that I not jump to conclusions - but rather take the much-needed time to discern the "religious life." He said that a person needs to recieve a call like this over time, and doesn't really know if they are to be a brother or priest until they actually are one. I realized it could take years before I really know. Dawn-Marie and I were friends, and we enjoyed each other's company regularly among our other friends and sometimes just the two of us. I knew that she wanted to be closer, but I didn't want to let anything in my path take my mind of discernment of the priesthood. And then (ouch!) she told me that she believed through prayer that we would one day be together. This really rubbed me the wrong way. But we remained friends and she respected my desire to continue discerning. There were a couple of weeks toward the end of our senior year when, I considered being with her. We did go on one date, a few weeks after graduating. After a year of volunteer work with high schoolers through NET Ministries (based out of St. Paul, MN) I became interested in the Franciscans. After a few months of "candidacy" I was admitted into postulancy with the Franciscans of Primitive Observance in New Bedford, MA. Postulancy is a time when an individual has not taken promises to stay, and therefore is still in discernment, but lives with the community and wears a habit. During this time I didn't have the inner peace that comes from above to know that this was what I supposed to do with my life. I didn't have a problem with the life they lived: the rigorous prayer schedule, the service to the poor, the vows of poverty, abstinence, and obedience to one's superior. All of these aspects were quite attractive. But I still didn't have the peace of knowing it was for me. Through spiritual direction, the Franciscans advised that I take some time at home, with an open invitation to come right on back even a week later. I needed to take some time to feel my roots, to self-reflect, and listen to Our Lord to let Him lead me in the way suited best for me. Although in college I was not impressed with the way Dawn-Marie seemed to think that I was mistaken about my future, I did feel very comfortable with her. She was someone I could tell anything to, someone I could trust. I remembered all the good times we had, and for some reason, I needed to know that she was well cared for. Could I trust her to find a man that would treat her right? I was asking myself why I was so concerning with her well being. I was falling in love with her, and my discernment of religious life was coming to a close. She was engaged to another man, but they could tell she wasn't happy. Her ex-fiance shared with me that she had gone through a mourning process when I entered postulancy. He knew that she was still unhappy. Although it wasn't easy, he let her decide freely - and she decided to break off their engagement. He is now happily married to a friend of ours from Steubenville. Dawn-Marie and I moved to Alabama to work at a Catholic Television Network, EWTN. She got a place with an old friend of ours from college, Amalia. I began renting an apartment. On December 8th I asked her to marry me. A day I will always remember. I can't begin to describe how thankful I am that she kept me in her heart all of those years. I would truly be an unfulfilled man had our paths not crossed again. Everyday I thank God for calling me to be with such a wonderful person and such a fine and faithful companion. |
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| I spent my whole growing up wanting to be married, and imagining a life with a wonderful wife. Soon after arriving at Steubenville I realized that the Church needed priests, and although I had never before wanted to be a priest, I knew it was something that I'd need to consider. After a month or |
| D-M's plaid rose. |