The Recap, one of many: On November 17, Michael Richards (do I really need to mention that he played Kramer on “Seinfeld”? Fine.) was doing a stand-up routine in Los Angeles* when a couple of black men said he wasn’t funny. Or something. We don’t really know what they said and how long it was going on (“all night,” by Richards’ reckoning). The lowlights: his vitriolic response started with a seeming-lament that the days of lynching are 50 years past, segued into a repetition of that word that starts with the letter ‘N’ and rhymes with the last two syllables of “I don’t think Michael Richards’ career is getting any bigger,” and after some other ramblings told one of the hecklers who said it was uncalled for, “that’s what you get for interrupting the white man,” and left the stage. At least Mel Gibson had alcohol on his side when he had a racial meltdown. Maybe Richards really wants to kill whitey instead and just needs a few brewskies to bring it out.

So now we know that Michael Richards has anger management issues at the very least; but what, if anything, does the episode say about us? The audience laughed, at least initially; it got less funny when the N-word came out. And came out again. And again. And again. Halfway through the video (hooray for YouTube) people are obviously leaving, so that’s reassuring. The public outcry was huge, and Richards apologized the following Monday on the biggest venue he could find… the Late Show with David Letterman. It may be worth noting that Richards performed at the club again the next night and was expected to apologize then, but didn’t (he didn’t don a wizard robe, however, so perhaps we should be grateful he didn’t do anything). So the American public’s reaction is encouraging, though damning for Richards if that’s the only thing that made him say he’s sorry. But while this was happening the public was simultaneously condemning and anticipating that damn O.J. deal.

I really don’t know anything about the O.J. Simpson murder trial, except that he was found not guilty, to the chagrin of whites and the elation of blacks. Ten years after the fact, on November 15, the FOX network announced they would be airing an interview with Simpson where he describes in detail how he (would have) killed his ex-wife and her lover (if he had done it). The special was to tie in to a book on the subject with the same title, “If I Did It,” with the “If” in white and the rest of the title in a more visible red. Why did he do it (the book and interview, not the murders)? It’s all about the Benjamins, $3.5 million to be precise; to pay off taxes and kids and lawsuits and what-have-you.

Again America was revolted and outraged, and in about a week’s time, News Corporation mogul and FOX owner Rupert Murdoch swooped in and cancelled both deals. It’s telling, however, that FOX and Regan Books (the publisher) thought they could get away with it; they wouldn’t have taken it on if they thought otherwise, and they weren’t completely off-base either. The book was reportedly a huge pre-seller on Amazon.com, and given the public’s voracious consumption of “Fear Factor” and other cultural train wrecks, who’s to say that a considerable amount of the television audience wouldn’t have tuned in to watch a black celebrity talk about he would have killed his white ex-wife and her friend? For that matter, how much money could be made if the networks were dredging up the Kobe Bryant rape case or any of Michael Jackson’s (to understate) eccentricities? Just a thought. The viewers certainly didn’t pay attention to the reality dating show that pasty-white Monica Lewinsky hosted.

As silly as I feel saying this, one can glean some idea of America’s curious racial attitudes in the mockumentary, “Borat: Cultural Leanings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan,” in which comedian Sascha Baron Cohen (a Jew) plays Borat Sagdiyev, a homophobic, sexist, anti-Semitic news reporter from Kazakhstan who travels across the U.S., behaving as politically incorrect as possible and documenting people’s (mostly) real-life reactions. The results of this strange social experiment are mixed: a group of feminists cuts short their interview when he insists it’s been scientifically proven that women’s brains are the size of a squirrel’s, while a Southern family (whose mansion is on one Secession Drive) politely puts up with every outrageous thing he does… until he decides to add a little color to the proceedings (it’s a bit more wild than that, but still).

But most interesting is the fact that so many people bought into it; few seemed to question the premise that Kazakhs are Semitic (they’re a Turkic people), or that they are so backward that they drink fermented horse urine as a delicacy and keep their women and retarded people in cages, and there are some people who would take the movie at face value and think it to be an actual Kazakh documentary. Before it came out, the Anti-Defamation League censured Cohen and his act, saying that it would incite anti-Jewish sentiment, which makes about as much sense as punishing the Beatles for the Limp Bizkit. As if performers have any control over the (lack of) intelligence amongst their audience.... Then again, that someone in the crowd I saw the movie with responded to Borat’s question to a gun shop clerk (“What kind of gun do I need to protect myself from a Jew?”) with “Uzi!” may be cause for alarm.

But these are isolated incidents; mayhap the recent midterm elections, the people’s voice, can tell us more? In Arizona, voters approved measures making English the state’s official language, as well as withholding bail from and limiting educational opportunities for illegal immigrants, while Minuteman Randy Graf failed in his bid for a Congressional seat. Which is fine, if ineffective; being that people here illegally don’t want to be put in prison, denying bail is probably not going to be much of a deterrent. I’m all for keeping our population down, but if we’re doing to keep unwanted immigrants out, why not unwanted pregnancies? Again, just a thought. Anyway. More relevant is the Senatorial race in Virginia that Democratic control of both of houses of Congress hinged on; incumbent George Allen’s loss can be easily attributed to the “Macaca,” incident, in which he called a staffer from the rival campaign a name that denotes a genus of monkeys and is a French racial epithet for dark-skinned folk, as well as his peculiar initial denial of his Jewish lineage (Allen’s mother is half Jewish and Tunisian French). But bear in mind this is only what tipped the scales: he had already established a fondness for the Confederate flag in high school (even though he grew up in California); as governor of Virginia he had a noose hanging in his office and supported a Confederate History and Heritage Month (April) while trying to block a state holiday honoring Martin Luther King Jr. That, and he once cut off a deer’s head on a hunting trip in college and stuck it on a black family’s mailbox. Allegedly. It’s good to know our white gene stock is of such a high caliber. Nothing but the best for a would-be presidential candidate!

So at the end of this admittedly messy and scattershot entry, there is no simple categorization for America’s racial attitudes. White guilt is too easy to reach for, and does a disservice to the many people who had every right to be disgusted by Michael Richards’ racist bile and were. And there still remains our lurid fascination with O.J./Kobe/Jackson murder/rape news stories, though they themselves are as much driven by pure laziness on behalf of the media as they are by whatever lingering racial hangups we still have.

Perhaps the best indicator we have of how far we’ve come is that both Democrat and Republican parties have potential non-Caucasian candidates for the 2008 presidential race that have a significant chance of winning if they run: Condoleezza Rice and Barack Obama. Perhaps the best indicator of how far we still have to go is liberal columnist/cartoonist Ted Rall’s caricature of Dr. Rice referring to herself as Bush’s “house [Ebonicized version of the N-word]” who uses hair straightener, and the not-really-provable-but-still-probably-true fact that there are some Americans who will not vote for a black Democrat whose last name rhymes with ‘Osama.’

Would it be too much at this point to wish you all a white Christmas?