A lot has been said about Canada... but most people don't pay attention and the rest just couldn't care one way or the other.

Following are a few references made to Canada that I have gathered, and, although I don't agree with most of them, it doesn't really matter, because the odds are that there isn't anyone reading this anyway!

In case I'm wrong, though... Enjoy!... (Oh, my comments follow in brackets.)

(Thanks to Lin for this submission.)

"If the mental illness of the United States is megalomania, that of Canada is paranoid schizophrenia." - Margaret Attwood
(Author of some reknown... Who Said That!!??? Oh, just me...)

"Perhaps the most striking thing about Canada is that it is not part of the United States." - J. Bartlet Brebner
(I think he grew pears or something, but don't quote me on that!)

"A country so square that even the female impersonators are women." - Richard Brenner
(At least we don't have actors impersonating politicians!)

"A collection of ten provinces with strong governments loosely connected by fear." - Dave Broadfoot
(Canada's answer to Mark Russel.)

"You have to know a man awfully well in Canada to know his surname." -John Buchan
(I've known me all my life and I still don't know my last name.)

"The beaver is a good national symbol for Canada. He's so busy chewing he can't see what's going on." - Howard Cable
(Busy busy busy... That's us!)

"I don't even know what street Canada is on." - Al Capone
(Go to New York and turn left, Al. You can't miss us!)

"I am rather inclined to believe that this is the land God gave to Cain." - Jacques Cartier
(That's funny, Jack... I thought you gave it to France!)

"Canada could have enjoyed: English government, French culture, and American know-how. Instead it ended up with: English know-how, French government, and American culture." - John R. Colombo - 'Oh Canada'
(Je suis comme American, eh? Pip pip and Cherrio!)

"Canada is a society, rather than a nation." - Kildare Dobbs
(Join the club!)

"Canada has never been a melting pot; more like a tossed salad." - Arnold Edinborough
(Keeps us from becoming 'Fat Heads'!)

"Canada has a climate: nine month's winter and three months late in the fall." - Evan Esar
(See what we poor Canucks have to put up with?)

"For some reason, a glaze passes over peoples faces when you say 'Canada'" - Sandra Gottlieb
(And what look do they get when you say 'Gottlieb'?)

"Canada is the boring second fiddle in the American symphony." - Andrei Gromyko
(I'd rather be a boring second fiddle than a first fiddle who thinks the symphony can't play without it!)

"Canada's national bird is the grouse." - Stuart Keane
(The grouse kept a growing nation fed... as opposed to... say... the eagle?)

"Canada reminds me of vichyssoise - it's cold, half French and difficult to stir." - Stuart Keane
(What is it with this 'cold' thing!??)

"The most parochial nationette on earth." - Wyndham Lewis
(I don't agree! And there isn't anything you can say to change my mind!!!)

"The trouble with this whole country is that it's divided up into little puddles with big fish in each one of them." - Hugh MacLennan
(When I can think of something to say about this one, I'll let you know.)

"Canada is the only country in the world that knows how to live without an identity." - Marshall McLuhan
(I had 'identity' once, but one good belch and I felt a lot better!)

"Very little is known of the Canadian country since it's rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and illiterate sports fishermen." - P.J. O'Rourke
(Perhaps Mr. Sleeping-Apparel should speak to some of the millions of Americans who flock across the border each year!)

"Canada is only useful to provide me with furs." - Madame de Pompadour
(Ahem...)

"A few acres of snow." - Voltaire
(If you look hard enough, yes... you might find a few acres.)

(And finally, one about Niagara Falls...)

"A vast unnecessary amount of water going the wrong way and then falling over unnecessary rocks." - Oscar Wilde
(And one of the most beautiful 'unnecessities' in the world!)