The Joys of Womanhood

• We got off the Titanic first.
• We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
• We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
• When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous. When men buy a blow-up doll it's pathetic.
• Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous; guys look like complete idiots in ours.
• We are groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
• We can cry and get out of speeding tickets.
• We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
• Taxis stop for us.
• Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
• We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
• Free drinks.
• Free dinners.
• We know the truth about whether size matters.
• New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
• If we have sex with someone and don't call them the next day, we're not the devil.
• Condoms make no significant difference in our enjoyment of sex.
• Nothing crucial can be cut off with one clean sweep.
• It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
• No fashion faux pas we make could rival the Speedo.
• We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
• If we cheat on our spouse, people assume it's because we're being emotionally neglected.
• We never have to wonder if his orgasm was real.
• If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
• We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her ass.
• If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
• We never have to reach down ever so often to make sure our privates are still there.
• If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
• We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
• We have the ability to dress ourselves.
• We have an excuse to be a total bitch at least once a month.
• We can talk to people of the opposite sex without automatically picturing them naked.
• And...... No-one can kick us in the balls!