Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
A: The porcupine has pricks on the outside.
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Q: Why did God create alcohol?
A: So ugly people have a chance to have sex.
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Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A: "Are you sure it's mine?"
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Q: What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
A: Beer nuts are a $1.25 but deer nuts are always under a buck.
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Q: What three two-letter words denote "small"?
A: "Is it in?"
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Q: What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A: A tick falls off you when you die.
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Q: What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A: When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
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Q: What do call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
A: Your Honor.
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Q: If Mothers have Mother's Day, and Fathers have Father's Day, what do Single Guys have?
A: Palm Sunday.
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Q: What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
A: Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.
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Q: Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
A: Mace will do that to you.
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Q: What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman?
A: Sexual harassment.
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Q: What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man?
A: $3.99 a minute.
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Q: What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
A: A bingo machine.
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Q: What do you call a Florida gynecologist?
A: A spreader of old wives' tails.
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Q: Why do women prefer old gynecologists?
A: They have shaky hands.
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Q: What do a Divorce in Alabama, a Tornado in Kansas, and a Hurricane in Florida have in common?
A: Somebody's fixin' to lose them a trailer house.
