A young priest was about to preach his first sermon and he told his elder just how nervous he was feeling. "Take two or three good stiff drinks of rum before going to the church," advised the older priest. "That will relax you." He followed the advice he was given and thought he did a pretty good job with his sermon on Sunday morning. After the service, the young priest asked the older priest what he thought of the sermon.
"You certainly weren't nervous," the elder priest replied, " but you did make a few mistakes. To begin with, there are10 commandments, not 14; David slew Goliath, he didn't 'kick the living shit out of him'; Jesus and the disciples are not known as J.C. and the Boys; and the Holy Trinity is not Pops, Junior, and the Holy Spook!"
