A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spent $5,000 and felt really great about the result. On his way home he stopped at a newsstand and bought a paper. Before leaving, he said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35," was the reply.
"I'm actually 47," the man said, feeling really happy. After that, he went into McDonalds for lunch and asked the order taker the same question.
"Oh you lookabout 29."
"I am actually 47!" This made him feel really good. While standing at the bus stop he asked an old woman the same question.
She replied, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down the front of your pants for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age."
As there was no one around, the man thought what the hell and let her slip her hand down his pants.
Ten minutes later, the old lady said, "Okay, I'm done. You are 47."
Stunned, the man said, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?"
The old lady replied, "I was in line behind you at McDonalds."
