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| Mtv is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse | |||||||||||||||||||||
| The amazing story continues. | |||||||||||||||||||||
| I was able to escape my home, but where could I go to truly escape the tyrannical grip of mtv and all of its mindless followers. I was able to reach my car, but I knew my car would stick out. My car was small, made in 1984, and completely lacking any special rims or other custom features. That alone would make me an obvious target. My car was also adorned with numerous metal band stickers. That may have made my car a more obvious target, but I didn't care. I had principles, and I would not change my behavior or appearance for mtv. | |||||||||||||||||||||
| My car started and the mighty V-8 engine roared as I screeched out of my parking spot and onto the open road. Just because I was in constant danger didn't mean I couldn't blast death metal in my car. I put in "Dechristianize" by Vital Remains. It was good to hear some good music. I drove for hours not really knowing where I was going. The streets were littered with clothing that had gone out of style. I could see several corpses as well. I had no time to shed a tear for those who had lost their lives. I had to save my own life. I knew there was a resistance out there somewhere, and I had to find it. | |||||||||||||||||||||
| The damage of the rioting was wide spread. The large groups of people had split into smaller groups so they could cover more land more quickly. I wondered if this was happening all over the world. I had to assume so because I knew mtv had stations world wide. I wondered what kind of carnage the rest of the world was witness to. I was deep in thought when I noticed a lone vehicle on the road far behind me but quickly approaching. As it got closer I saw that it was an SUV. I giant vehicle complete with custom rims, nine dvd players and tv screens, a huge stereo system, and enough space to hold fifteen people, yet only one person was in the vehicle. Soon, the lone vehicle was joined by others, driving in formation, taking up three lanes each. | |||||||||||||||||||||
| I slammed the gas pedal to the floor, quickly accelerating to over 100 mph. The large group of SUV's accelerated as well and kept pace behind me. I assumed they planned to push me off the road but they couldn't quite catch up with me. After about thirty minutes, I noticed several SUV's, one by one, exiting the freeway. I was lucky that such massive and useless vehicles needed to be filled with three hundred dollars worth of gas every twenty-five minutes. | |||||||||||||||||||||
| After driving for a few hours I decided I needed to find a place to check the news and stock up on gas and supplies. Judging by the few mtv soldiers I saw moonwalking around, I could tell that the boy band/female pop star fad had not changed yet. I pulled over to a gas station and got out of my car. I was quickly ambushed by a soldier who attacked me by using the macarena's hand movements as sissy punches. I immediately punched him in the mouth, knocking out three of his teeth. He fell to his knees, sobbing violently about not being beautiful anymore. As he sat there crying, I noticed movement in the growing shadows as the day came to an end. I saw an overweight gothic girl slowly emerge from the shadows only to grab the crying boy band soldier and quickly drag him into the shadows. I could see at least five gothic kids, most likely another kind of mtv soldier. After all, mtv is responsible for nu-metal and Marilyn Manson so I had to assume the goths were mtv soldiers. | |||||||||||||||||||||
| As if in answer to my thoughts the goth girl that dragged the boy band soldier into the bushes said, "We are indeed mtv solders, hiss, but we don't like to admit it, hiss. This man has lost his boy band beauty so we must dispose of him. Hiss, we are scavengers, afraid of light and everything else, hiss, but we serve a purpose". I laughed as I threw bricks at the gothic kids, "write a whiney poem about this faggs" I thought. | |||||||||||||||||||||
| After causing the gothic kids some more physical and emotional pain, I made my way into the gas station and gathered supplies and several large tanks of gasoline. I noticed a poster on a nearby telephone pole. It simply said, "Resistance" drawn in black marker to look like a black metal logo. I ran to a phone and looked through the yellow pages. I noticed an address circled in black ink. It was the address for a small metal only record store a mere five minutes away. I knew that was where I had to go. | |||||||||||||||||||||
| I pulled up to the abandoned looking record store, it looked completely empty. I knew that this record store, could be like the legendary "Helvete" located in Norway. This place had to have a basement. The door was unlocked and I walked inside. The store was full of rare, imported, and hard to find, metal, but I didn't see a basement entrance. I looked around and noticed a giant slayer tapestry on the wall in the back of the store. I looked behind the tapestry, and sure enough, there was a large metal door. The door was locked and required a three number combination to open. I instantly knew the combination. Sure, 666 was obvious to me, but mtv's soldiers were all idiots and would never figure out the right combination. | |||||||||||||||||||||
| I made my way down the dark stairway. At the bottom of the stairs I could see the faint flickering of light and hear hushed conversations. I had a feeling of what to expect, but I couldn't be sure... | |||||||||||||||||||||
| Yeah, it's a trilogy, read the ending. | |||||||||||||||||||||