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The red rose on my pillow as I opened my eyes, made me smile into the soft white pillow beneath my head. And here I�d thought this was going to be an awful summer filled with nothing to do, and no one to meet.
Shutting my eyes again, my mind began to race and my heart rate accelerated with the memories from last night. The feeling of his cool skin pressed against my own, was so incredibly thrilling. The way he held me like I was a precious jewel, and seemingly wanted to deny his own pleasure for sake of the Big Moment of Completeness being so perfect and highly-anticipated, made me shiver.
I went downstairs like the morning before. This time dressed for going out to the mall in a pair of dark, low-riding jeans and a black halter. Even though all I wanted to do was hang around the house waiting to see Angelus again, I knew I had to get out of the house for a while before I got Cabin fever or something.
I made myself a cappuccino and checked the answering machine for messages. There was one.
Surprise. Surprise. It wasn�t from my mother, but from Giles. I flipped open the latest edition of Cosmo as I listened, looking to spot a pair of cute shoes that maybe I�d want to look for.
�Buffy, it�s me. Everything is going wonderful over here. I just thought I�d call to check in and see if you�ve burned down the estate yet. As I have found that the answering machine still works-and I doubt it would if the house was merely ashes-I am assuming that the house still stands, and you are merely out committing a crime or driving hormone-obsessing teenage boys out of their minds. Do enjoy the freedom, but please remember it�s a luxury, not a right. Take care.�
I frowned, �why does he always assume I�m off getting in to trouble?� I finished my cappuccino and set the cup in the sink.
Picking up my black purse, I stopped just before I reached the door, and turned to look around me. Maybe I should stay home. In case he calls? In case he comes over and finds me gone? In case he sends another package?
But no, I had to go shop. It was my therapy. It would help me think. Help me sort out all of these mixing, confusing emotions that were determined to repeatedly fly through my head at every second and mar whatever decision I had thought I�d reached.
**
I could feel her the moment she woke up. It surprised and unnerved me that she went out of the house. I�d thought for sure that she�d stay in again today, but I suppose I�d underestimated her need to be outside for a little while after days inside.
I knew I had to follow her. Had to keep her safe. What if someone happened to run into her in a dark alley? I couldn�t bear the thought of her precious virtue being wasted on some crack head that decided to screw the wrong guy�s girl. So taking the safest route possible (the tunnels under town) I followed her to the mall.
I crept along behind her, keeping out of eyesight though I�m sure she probably knew I was there. I watched her wander around, touching things that she passed and stopping to gaze in windows at what was on display inside. She looked so innocent, just like everyone else in that way. But though she was pure, she had a darkness inside of her that was only comparable to my own. She was perfect for me in every way, and now that I�d finally found her, I wasn�t ever going to let her go again.
**
I felt strange as I looked through things. I figured it was for two different reasons. For one thing, I felt like Angelus was near, but every time I glimpsed behind me I saw nothing, so I was extremely confused about that. And for another thing, I felt like I was seeing a world through someone else�s eyes. Like this mall was no longer a mall for me to shop in. It belonged to someone else.
I know. I know. It all sounds so crazy and you�re probably rushing off to the nearest phone right now to call me a good psychiatrist, but I�m telling you the truth. Everything looks so different. It�s like being inside a car, watching the world go by through the slightly foggy glass.
Finally deciding to �force� myself into the way things should be when I�m at a mall with a credit card that has no limit, I went into the nearest clothing store and began picking things off the rack. Oddly enough, everything I seemed to pull off the racks and shelves was my size on the first try. That never happens. Usually I have to spend my minutes looking for a pair of pants in a size 2.
But today was different. Things made sense in my old world now that I wasn�t an actual part of it. Of course�I�m not in my old world anymore. I�m just visiting it to hopefully get some new leather pants.
~~
I finished doing damage on my credit account and gave the woman at the cash register my address ay Giles� so that they could have all of my clothes shipped there tomorrow morning. This way I could go on about my shopping without being weighed down by the 8 or 10 bags filled with clothing.
Funny how much you can get done when you�re not really paying attention.
I still felt like Angelus was near, but after looking around so much and still seeing nothing, I gave up and went into a nearby caf� for some dinner. It was already 5 pm. I�d done better than I�d hoped. The sun would be down any time now. And then maybe if I was lucky, I would be able to find Angelus. I wasn�t going to just sit around and hoped that he came to me tonight. I was going to go looking for him, using the connection that we had that told me when he was close, to find him.
I ordered a drink, and was just about to look over the menu when my cell phone began to ring incessantly. I scurried through the contents of my purse to find it, and when I found it and looked at the ID of the caller, it said simply �Love�. I rolled my eyes, knowing who it was immediately.
�Hey,� I said in a girly, hopefully-sweet-sounding voice as I answered it.
�Did you know it was me?� came his voice.
I smiled softly and leaned forward on my elbows, propped on the table. �Of course I did. You�ve been following me, haven�t you?� At his lack of response, I smiled and said, �I�ll just take that as a yes, then.�
�Did you have fun, love?� he asked in that tumbling voice of his.
I shrugged, �felt different, but I guess it was ok.�
�Different?� He seemed to play with that concept in his mind. I waited to see what he had to say about it. Maybe he could explain why I�d been kicked out of my own world, left to watch it go by me and participate like a ghost that only a few people happen to notice. �You�re not different, Buffy. Just realizing you don�t belong�To them, at least.�
�So maybe you can clear it up for me and tell me where I DO belong,� I swiveled my back a bit to release the anticipation and tension that had decided to coil there throughout the last minute or so of my conversation with Angelus.
�You already know, Love. I wouldn�t want to waste the look on your face when you find out. Save that for a time when I�m around,� he said.
�You�re leaving?� I asked as more of a statement than a question. I could feel him pulling away from me.
�You�ll see me tonight, love,� he assured me. �The cemetery. Midnight. Does that work for you?� Without giving me a chance to respond, he said, �good. I�ll see you then, Lover.�
�W-woah! Woah! Woah!� I stopped him from hanging up. �This town has a homicide rate of like one-a-day,� I told him.
�You don�t actually think that I�d let something happen to you, do you Buff?�
�No it�s not that,� I told him. �It�s just that with statistics like that, it�s only natural I guess that there are about 7 huge cemeteries in this place. It would be nice if you�d tell me which one to meet at instead of having me waiting in one, feeling stood up while you waited around, pissed off in another.�
�Good point,� he chuckled. �How�s this? I�ll come to whatever one you�re in. It�s all the same.� And with that, he clicked off his phone.
~~
That night, I took my time preparing to see Angelus. I pulled my hair half-off my face, letting it fall around my back in slight waves that I hoped looked somewhat elegant-like the type of girl I imagined he would want me to become. I dressed the part as well. Some dark, fitted, low-riding jeans and a black top with long, lace sleeves and a low-cut neckline. My sexy, black stiletto shoes were a little impractical for wandering through the grass of a cemetery, but they were definitely worth it when I examined the entire ensemble in the mirror.
The night was warm. Surprisingly warm. But every now and then a cool breeze would sweep over my skin and excite my tense nerves. I couldn�t feel Angelus, and that was making me even more nervous than I already was. It was safe to say that if so much as a leaf fell from the tree, I was going to jump right out of my skin.
Maybe he�d changed his mind and decided to make me �wait�. Maybe this was all a test. Maybe he just didn�t want me. Maybe�Maybe�Oh stop it. I tried to end my intensely nerve-wracking thoughts. It was useless. All I could do was stare directly ahead and hope that my mind would flick off.
Just then I spotted something out of the corner of my eye. My insides jumped as I thought that maybe it was Angelus�Suffice to say my insides were wrong.
It wasn�t Angelus at all. It was a man in a mask�An army mask. What the Hell? Right before I could say anything or even have a chance to react enough to realize what was happening, I was surrounded by 4 military-looking men, all dressed in kaki and big ugly boots. What was slightly more unnerving, was the guns they all had pointed directly at my chest. The red laser dots from the aimers on each gun, were flittering around my heart-area. I looked down at them in surprise, my hands held up in submission.
�Ma�am, Can we ask what you�re doing out here so late at night?� Came one soldier�s voice, sounding like he was trying to disguise it by making it lower than nature ever intended for it to be.
�Shopping.� I offered bluntly, wondering if that would work.
�Shopping?� the man repeated in a question, obviously thinking that either I�d escaped my padded room in the nearest asylum, or that I was a threat to National Security or something. �Ma�am, what are you shopping for in the middle of a graveyard at midnight?�
�A tombstone?� I frowned. My story was sounding worse and worse with every breath I took. Every time I opened my mouth, I was sounding more and more like Winona Ryder in Girl, Interrupted.
�A tombstone, Ma�am? What for?� The soldier was undoubtedly starting to get a little irritated by the story that I assumed he had probably guessed to be a lie. I could feel the grip of each soldier tightening on the trigger of their extremely-lethal-looking guns. But I could feel something else too. Something familiar. The soldier repeated his question, �A tombstone for what, Ma�am?�
�It�s probably for you,� came his voice.
Everyone-myself included-whirled around to see Angelus standing a few feet away, leaning casually against a tree with his arms crossed. He looked so delicious, as always, in his long dark leather jacket, black leather pants, and black silk shirt-open at the caller, exposing a few inches of his delicious skin.
�Vampire!� Each soldier shouted individually as the made that realization.
�Angelus,� I smiled, whispering his name softly to myself. His eyes locked with my own and he smirked, �Hey baby. Been waiting long?� There was a moment of silence. Just a moment. A second. Maybe less. And then the soldier that had spoke to me before, made the command, �Fire!� And all of the guns began to shoot.
I screamed, terrified of the idea that they might have gotten Angelus. But I couldn�t see him anymore. I stepped back a few feet and waited to see what would happen. Ceasing their fire, the soldiers looked all around. �Did anyone hit the target?!� another soldier yelled out.
�Negative! Target has not been hit.�
�So where the Hell is it?� The original soldier queried. �Did anybody see where he went?� At the lack of response, the soldier suggested, �grab the girl. She obviously knows him. Might have been turned.�
Then there was a blur of blackness, and Angelus dove down from the tree he had been perched on just above the group of military men. He flew into action, throwing one soldier to the ground with force, and delivering a roundhouse kick to another that sent the man flying backwards and into a tree.
�There will be no taking,� he said, approaching the original solder that I�d spoken to as the poor man fumbled to reload his gun. Finally getting it loaded, he aimed it at Angelus, who was a mere foot and a half away now. Angelus simply reached out and twisted the barrel of the gun back, breaking the gun in half. Tossing the useless weapon away, he then delivered a quick punch into the man�s head, which he followed with a knee into the stomach.
The first soldier he�d touched, was on his feet now, ready for the next battle. And the fourth soldier that had yet to be touched, was also readying himself to attack Angelus. But being the fighter that he was, Angelus was ready. He intercepted the punch of one, and took a bullet from the other, stopping a moment to regain his senses before he grabbed the soldier that had fired the gun, and snapped his neck. The other soldier was tossed effortlessly against a tree, falling to the ground in a pathetic heap of green kaki and useless weapons.
The soldier that had spoken to me before, was still somewhat standing. Seeing he could not win against Angelus, he ran to me and grabbed me from behind before I had a chance to get away. He pulled a knife and held it to my throat, ceasing all of my effort to throw him away from me.
Angelus turned to face us, and froze where he was. �You�re not going to do that,� he told the soldier.
�Oh ya? You think so? Well watch me! Fuckingwell watch me!� He held the knife closer into my neck, to the point where I felt the blade of the edge of the blade pressing deeply into my skin.
Angelus let out a low growl, the first animalistic sound I�d ever head him make. �If you break the skin on her, I�ll be over there into your neck before her blood even begins to drop. So do yourself a favor. Let her go, and run�Run.�
�I still think I�d like to find out,� the soldier said, going against the - what I would have called - �good advice� that Angelus gave. He didn�t let me go, only tightened his grip on my arms as he held me.
I felt tears threatening to spill over as the fear overtook me. I didn�t want to die. I wasn�t ready. There was so many things I had yet to accomplish�Yet to do�Yet to feel. Oh God, I haven�t even had sex! I can�t die a virgin! This isn�t fair!
But as the blade slipped into my skin, it dawned on me that I might not have that choice. I couldn�t even scream as the pain slid through my body. As sure as he�d promised, Angelus was on top of the soldier before I�d even begun to bleed. And after draining the man as he still stood, Angelus gathered me into his arms just before I fell to the ground.
I wanted to cry. I wanted to verbally express how much pain I was in. But I was afraid that if I screamed, I�d make the wound worse.
**
I was in shock. All I wanted to do was inspect her neck and make sure that she was alright. But I knew better than to simply lay her down where we were standing. I had to get her away from here. Away from those men before they woke up. If they woke up with us still there, I wouldn�t be able to leave her side to fight. I knew that for certain. My loyalties would lay on her life rather than my own.
So I ran with her, holding her as close as possible. She was still breathing, though her heart beat was ragged and unsteady. I suspected the off-heart beat was due to the fear and shock she was probably in, but I was scared about it just the same. If worse came to worse, I knew I could always turn her.
But I so didn�t want to take her innocence just yet. I wanted her to keep that fire. That life. That perfection and sunshine�Even for just a little while longer.
I took her into the woods and scanned the area to ensure that we were nowhere near a living (or non-living) being of any kind, and then I laid her down, taking off my jacket to lay it down beneath her to protect her from the suddenly cold ground. I kneeled next to her, running my hands down her face and trying to convince her to move her hands from her neck. �Baby, let them down. I need to see it.�
Finally she agreed to it, and lowered her hands to her stomach. I slid my fingers down her neck, tilting her head backwards so that I had a clearer view of the wound. It was there, and it wasn�t small. But thankfully it hadn�t hit any major veins. The jugular was perfectly in tact. I leaned over her and pressed a soothing kiss to her open cut, licking the blood that surrounded it and trying my best to close it.
It took every spare ounce of self-restraint that I had to keep myself from taking another sip of her precious, honeyed blood that I found to taste better than I had ever been able to imagine.
�Buff?� I questioned, wondering if she would speak. �Buff, baby, speak to me. Are you okay?�
�I got my neck slit open, how do you think I am?� she frowned, reaching her arms up for me.
I smiled softly and pulled her into my arms, holding her tight. �Thought maybe I�d lost you there for a second.� I took a moment to just shut my eyes and remember this moment, and then I said, �those Initiative bitches are getting closer and closer each time. I don�t know what the Hell I�m going to do about them.�
**
�Initiative?� I wondered out loud. �Angelus, what�s that?� I looked up into his eyes with confusion marring my features.
�Nothing that you need to worry about, love,� he smirked that sexy adorable smirk that I�d die if he ever showed to some other girl again. �Shall I take you home now? Or would you prefer to stay in the woods?� He looked all around us at the trees, bushes, and dirt that we were hidden in.
I smiled softly, feeling tired. �Only if you swear to come with me�And stay this time for more than a kiss.�
His fingers trailed down to the top of my pants and slipped beneath the fabric to slide around on my bare skin tantalizingly. Leaning down to press his lips against my own, he whispered, �You know I can�t leave you�Unsatisfied.�
~~
It didn�t take long for Angelus to be completely assured that my neck was going to be fine. But as a precaution, he still insisted on being gentle with me. It was driving me damn near insane to be so close and to receive only feather-light touches when he kissed me or touched my breasts.
He encouraged me to fall asleep in his arms as we laid together on a huge, burgundy-colored couch in the parlor near the warm fireplace. Angelus had lit a fire to relax me and warm me, worrying about the possibility of my catching a chill�Something I considered highly unlikely since he was already keeping me so warm just by being near to me.
When I woke up a few hours later, I felt safer than I�d ever felt in my entire life. Miraculously, Angelus was still there�Still holding me. He was on his back on the couch, cradling me on his chest. I blinked slightly and then looked down into his eyes. I smiled softly. My mind began to think about all of the incredible things he had been able to do to me so far�To my body. But as far as I could tell, he wasn�t getting any of the satisfaction that I was at this point. That thought got to me. I wanted him to feel the things at my hands, that I found myself feeling at his.
He looked into my eyes with those dark orbs that held the truth of the world but no readable thoughts. �Angelus,� I whispered, my voice cracking. He didn�t say anything in response, but merely gazed at me. Gathering my courage I asked, �Can I touch you?� At his smirk and the fire that lit through his eyes, I knew what his answer was.
I pulled myself up onto all fours standing over him, and slid my fingers to the buttons of his shirt. I was so afraid. I didn�t know what I was going to do, but I knew I was going to make him feel the pleasure that I had felt every time he�d tended to my satisfaction and denied his own.
Opening his shirt entirely, I slid my hands over his rock-solid abs. I could feel his gaze upon me, so intense and scrutinizing that I felt like I was naked for him to inspect as he wished. There was a fire between my thighs that I couldn�t contain. With every passing second, I was burning up.
My fingers slid down to his pants. Taking my time, I undid them, being careful not to mess up and appear like the bumbling, inexperienced child that I so didn�t want him to associate with me when we were doing anything remotely sexy.
Drawing him out of the tight leather confines of his pants, I had to work to stifle the gasp that almost came out of my lips. My friends and I had seen one in a movie once or twice, and of course in books�But never so close�And never one quite so large as the one that Angelus possessed. I was instantly afraid, and all I wanted was to put it back where I�d gotten it�But then I realized how strong my desire to please him was, and I decided against running from the room in fear. I could feel his eyes on me; watching me so intently that I worried perhaps he could see right through me.
I lowered my head, and pressed my lips to it hesitantly. I swear I heard a low sound creep out of Angelus� lips, but I didn�t want to look up to find out for sure. I licked the tip, tasting the skin around the end and finding it not to be quite as unpleasant as I�d always thought the taste would be before today.
I slowly gathered my courage and began to explore the length of Angelus� rod. I licked along the underneath, suck the tip, and swirled my tongue in a circular motion along the edges. Then finally, I attempted to swallow him down. There was so much of him, and it was all so hard that I couldn�t get too far. I�d heard thought that if when you want to gag � you suck in - then you can take more in your mouth. So as soon as I felt my gagging reflexes jump at the chance to push him out of my mouth, I instinctively swallowed and took him in deeper.
**
The hot, inviting mouth of my sweet lover was beckoning my orgasm forward. I was so close to the edge already, having been hard for hours just by being near to her. I didn�t know how much longer I could last as she continued to suck, nip, lick, and massage me with a beginner�s hesitation and a pro�s skill. All I could think about, was how much sweeter it would be to be inside of her when I came�That fantasy, topped with my fangs in her neck and my hands on her breasts, was taking me closer and closer to the peak.
But no, I knew those things would have to wait for now.
Focusing on the perfect reality I was existing in now, I felt her begin to squeeze the base of my shaft each time that she lowered her head to push me back inside of her deliciously hot, little mouth.
I groaned her name again and again, unable to keep quiet anymore. God, did she even know what she was doing to me? Did she know how much power she had right now? I was feeling pleasures in my body and my mind that I hadn�t felt for centuries�Or ever, actually. This intense ecstasy that she was showing me was more than I could remember ever feeling before tonight.
Then all of a sudden it happened. I peaked; shouting her name in a breathless groan as I shot my cool seed down her throat, which to my surprise she swallowed eagerly with a contented moan of her own.
**
The taste of his cum was salty and tangy, but not at all unpleasant. My mind was whirling with the experience of making Angelus cum. It was something I�d never actually thought I�d have the power to do. The simple knowledge that I�d reduced him to mush by my ministrations (timid as they might have been) was enough to send me to Cloud Nine, and keep me floating there for a lifetime.
I licked him clean, and finally turned my head upwards to look into his face. He was smirking at me in the most delightful way imaginable. He pulled me back up his chest to kiss my lips. Flipping us so that I was beneath him on the couch, he whispered, �I knew you�d be worth the wait.�
Smiling softly, I kissed him back with nervous anticipation. What would happen next? I had absolutely no idea. But whatever it was, it was going to be a blast. That was definitely a stated fact.
He licked his tongue over my lips, tasting the remains of himself on me and smiled again. I began to blush from embarrassment. He knew everything I was. I was certain of that. And he would probably mold what I would become.
~~