The cool breeze that swept through the room did wonders for my shattered nerves. Night after night spent in my brother's home of ill-received pleasures for his countless guests, had shattered even my mind. And oddly enough, I had always been the stronger-minded and most dependent of the family.
The events of today, I can assure you, were not foreseen. I had no idea what was to come as I gathered myself out of bed and rang the bell for my maid to come and assist me in dressing for the day. I found myself overly picky about just what I would wear, for something deep inside of me said that my outfit was of much importance today. The only distinct problem at-hand, was that I had absolutely no idea why these thoughts should come to me now.
"Master John," my maidservant, Clarice began referring to my evilly inclined brother whose tastes of pleasure exceeded those in my wildest dreams. "He has requested that you attend tea in the main parlour this 'noon. He has said no more than that there is someone he wishes for you to meet."
"Thank you, Clarice," I said shortly, looking down at my hands as she began to fix my hair for the days' events. She twisted the front pieces off of my face to make my features slightly more elegant than usual, and left the back hanging in loose curls. Having blonde hair was a benefit to me, as most women in this part of the country were granted nothing but brown locks. However, this gift was one that I never intended to use. Every friend of my brother had tried at one point or another, to either rape or seduce me, and they had all-I thankfully say-been successfully denied to the point that my virtue and innocence remains fully intact.
I spent the main of my morning, reading by the fire in my dressing rooms. I watched the world pass by, and it beckoned me forth. At around eleven, I took Clarice and went for a brief stroll through the grounds, but I did not linger long, for I had an important meeting to prepare for. Undoubtedly, this one too would be about finding a marital partner for me, so that I would be off my brother's shoulders once and for all. An act that would make both of us extremely pleased.
**
I had first learnt of the mysterious sister residing in John Summer's home, through my brother William. He had informed me that on one of his many visits to the home of John Summers, where ill acts took place rather often, he had seen a petite blonde escaping from the library to her rooms. And from then on, I had found myself intrigued along with my brother, as to the woman's identity.
Having never taken the time out of my travels to visit John Summers, myself, I had to rely merely on the facts sent to me by my brother, and I must say that for a rather unconcerned man on the matters of social disregard, he had gathered quite a bit of fact for my mind's dwellings. To the point where I simply had to meet this mysterious girl that resided in such a horrid establishment-but as far as William knew-managed to escape all evil forms of pleasure with little hesitation.
True, her apparently long, glorious, blonde hair was unique to these parts of the country, but it was not unseen by me in my travels. It was more her apparent virtue, the legendary fight in her, and the vibrant life and fire in her eyes that William had told me of-that intrigued me to meet with her brother this day.
I made the note of mentioning to her brother in the letter sent to set up this date of meeting, that I was looking to find a wife to settle down in my home in England, so that I would have a suitable establishment to return to when I came home on the occasion, from my travels. Her brother had jumped at this, and insisted that I meet his sister, for she would put up little hesitation at his insistence.
Alas, I found, that I had another reason for settling down with this particular woman. Though her beauty was apparent to many, I found that I couldn't bare the idea of her marrying to another. It struck me as rather odd that I should care so infinitely for a woman I had never laid eyes on, but it was still there to be fact that I cared for her well being, and that she be my own.
Thus creating my excitement to be meeting with her today. I was hoping that I could find a reason in her manner, to excuse myself from the silly notion of wanting to marry her, but it was obvious to my inner musings, that I probably would find no such reason.
**
Arriving in the parlour for the tea meeting, I was surprised to find that my brother was not alone. I had thought our visitor would arrive after I had the pleasure of knowing at least something about him from my brother. But it was clear to me now, that I would have no such chance.
Talk between the man and my brother ended, and my bother smiled brightly when he saw me. "Ah, my darling sister! Angelus?" he got the attention of the man, "do meet my beautiful sister, Buffy."
When the man turned to me, I found myself overwhelmed. The intensely carnal look that sprung to his eyes upon seeing me, made me want to run away. This man was without a doubt gorgeous. His finely chiselled muscles, and his dark hair and eyes, made me instantly want to swoon, whereas I usually didn't. But he seemed so intrigued by me, and I suddenly just knew that he would set about a plan to have me, and he would not stop until he had succeeded.
My brother was out to ease his mission, apparently, as he began brief introductions, and then asked me to leave for a moment so that he could speak with Lord Angelus in private.
**
"I must have her," was all I could say when she had gone. The mysterious blonde was every bit as fascinating as an angel could be. Her eyes were so bright and vibrant, and her obvious beauty was well spoke-of to my heart. I was instantly taken in by her looks, but the way in which she had refused to succumb to the image her brother obviously wished for her to uphold, had intrigued me even more.
"Then, my man, I suppose it is necessary for us to discuss the payment of such desires," her brother, snake to the end, was obviously in everything for money to pay for his many indiscretions.
"I don't care what it takes," I informed him bluntly. "I want her as my wife, and I want her today. Today, and no later." Something inside of me, that had never stirred before, had been brought to immediate life, after seeing Buffy stand before me looking gorgeous and strong. This new emotion, I was sure, was possessiveness in its most carnal form. I had to have Buffy as my own, no matter what the cost.
And I had to have her today.
**
"Miss?" Clarice came in to the dressing room I had fluttered to. "His Mastership requests you return to the parlour once more."
"Thank-you, Clarice," I said, getting to my feet. With another reassuring word to myself, I left my room and began my quest to the parlour, where I dreaded something major was about to take place.
Upon arriving, my brother looked gleeful as Angelus signed a piece of paper on the desk. "Miss Buffy!" my brother exclaimed, surprising me at his referral to me as Miss Buffy. I said nothing and waited for him to make his announcement. It was probably another well-planned business deal that would bring him closer to whatever his evil desires were at the moment.
He surprised me.
"Lord Angelus has taken it upon himself," John motioned to Angelus as he turned to look at me. "To take you from my hands, and marry you!"
My jaw dropped and I lost my calm, "marry him?" I blurted out. "I don't even know him! How can you agree to this?"
"Angelus has made it quite certain that he wont take 'no' for an answer. He is so entranced by you, and wishes to be married to you immediately," my brother explained to me, giving me a look that assured me if I didn't co-operate, there would be lots of trouble. "What do you say to that, my darling sister?"
Never one to obey to being controlled, I rebelled. "No," I announced firmly.
I attempted to run. I had to get away from this evil man that I had just moments ago thought to be kind and intriguing. Now it turned out he was just like my brother. A monster. Evil at the very root.
My escape, however, was in vain. Before I could so much as get from the parlour, my escape path was blocked by two men that I didn't know. Well, no. One of them looked familiar. Perhaps he had been to some parties here before. The other was entirely new to me, and much to my horror, they were followed by a priest.
Surely it wouldn't happen right away! Surely they wouldn't force me into this marriage without some time to state my case against it!
But surely...They would.
I attempted to get by the familiar-looking man, but he made a sound of defiance, and grabbed me tightly around the shoulders. I continued to fight, and he lost his impatience rather fast, and threw me to the wooden floor.
Angelus' movements were a blur as he went to his friend and backhanded him firmly. "You will not touch her in such a way!" he said menacingly.
He came to me then, and knelt next to me on the floor. "My love, do understand I don't mean to harm you. You have nothing to fear, as long as you are with me. I do so wish you could have the wedding that every girl dreams of, but I can't wait that long, my love. You have so entranced me, and it is rather important that we marry right away, so that you may begin to feel the desire and affection that I behold for you already, my dear."
"You're evil," I whispered, glaring at him as blood dripped from my lower lip. "I despise you. I'll never feel anything for you!" I tried to move back across the floor, but he would have none of my escape.
Pulling me to him, he whispered hoarsely in my ear, "your fight further excites me, darling, but do wait for a better time to defy me. I do not wish to harm you, but I won't let you go much the same."
So that was how it was done. I was forced into marriage, my brother speaking on my behalf when the priest asked if I wished to marry Angelus. It was cruel and unkind. How could men be so brutal? How could they be so harsh? The very act of being wed to Angelus, wasn't as horrid as what I knew was to come.
The wedding night.
Being so large, he would probably rip me apart if he took me by force, and he certainly wood, for he would undoubtedly want to de-flower me tonight rather than waiting to woo me properly, like a gentleman. The thoughts of the pain to come made me cry even harder, and noticing this, Angelus slid an arm around me and pulled me close. The priest announced our marriage, and bid that Angelus consummate our union by kissing his bride.
I cried bitter tears as my first kiss from my new husband-or any man for that matter-was one that left me ready to kill him.
Actually, everything he'd done so far angered me to the point of murder. Perhaps deep down, I really do harbour a hardened criminal just itching to get out and avenge her wrongs by attacking her attackers.
If so, would it be so bad to let her out to play?
By the time Angelus pulled me into his arms and informed me it was time to go 'home', I was so spent that I nearly passed out.
Nearly.
I held tight to him as he carried me to the waiting carriage. I didn't trust this man as far as I could throw him(which isn't far since I doubted I could even pick him up)so I wasn't about to just let him carry me without doubts that he could drop me and break my back.
'William' the man that hit me at first, held the carriage door open for me, and I felt like laughing pathetically as Angelus cuddled me close in his lap, like I was his precious treasure. I knew I most certainly was not. No man would treat his treasure like that, even if said man is evil and cruel.
Needless to say, I could imagine he probably had a million mistresses. I hoped he went to them often, and left me alone. I would feel no jealousy over the whores that chose to associate with this man out of their own free will. I also wouldn't feel bad if it turned out that he beat them. They deserved it for having such poor judgment of a man's character.
The carriage ride seemed that it would never end, and Buffy wasn't sure just how much longer she could endure this man tenderly stroking her and whispering tender words in her ear that almost made her want to relax her body against him. That was...Almost.
After well over an hour in the arms of my new husband, the carriage came to a halt, and the door was opened by an unseen man. Angelus stepped out first, and then turned to assist me.
It would do me no good to resist physically, for he would only be forced to the laborious job of beating me senseless, so I complied and allowed me to help him out of the carriage. The home before me made me quiver, for it was note a home at all...But a prison.
It was an immensely large chateau, and everything about it was elegant, rich, and cold. Just like my new husband. I could only allow myself the wish that one day women would be allow to divorce like they could overseas in America.
That was a foolish wish, I know.
"Well, darling, what do you think of your new home?" Angelus, smiling brightly, seemed oblivious to my dismay. I had to wonder if he was certifiably insane, for he hadn't once offered condolences on the manner in which I had been so roughly forced into a marriage with a total stranger. He confused me still, by adding, "Darling, now that we have arrived, shall I give you the grand tour? I have ordered ahead for your rooms to be prepared, and when you are feeling up to it, I can have the stylists come to redesign and redecorate, if you wish. I do fear your rooms have not been updated in quite a while, as there has been no use for them. There isn't even a bed in your resting room!" he laughed at this.
I was about to ask him where I would be sleeping if not in my room, but thought better of it when I realized I already knew the answer. Besides that, I didn't want him to mention getting into a bed together. The thought in itself made me sick to my stomach. I almost smiled at the idea of being sick in my husband's bed. It would certainly serve him right.
Angelus insisted on taking me through some of the main rooms, and assuring me that tomorrow he would show me around the outdoors, and all of the other places to explore on the estate.
"Well, my darling, is anything to your liking?" he still seemed oblivious to my hatred as I glared at him.
Perhaps he was one of those 'hear no evil, see no evil' types. Maybe I could use that to my advantage, and make myself evil in the hopes that he would then not see or hear me.
Oh just let me die! I thought miserably.
He sobered then, finally losing that ridiculously gleeful smile of his. Stepping close, he took my hands in his and laid tender kisses to each of my knuckles, "my dear, though I knew full-well that you detest me for not having taken the proper time to woo you, I must ask that you try to make the best of a situation that isn't quite ideal at the moment."
"I never asked for you, so why must I succumb to what you wish of me?" I threw in his face, not bothering to hide my hostility as I added, "and I doubt that 'wooing' is in your nature."
His eyes darkened then, and he growled deep in his chest, successfully chilling me to the bone. "I do not wish to be resented by you, my dearest. I want your soul, and if you will not give it to me willingly, I will take it through gently persuasive manipulation. But rest assured that I will have all of you, one way or another."
"Not the easy way," I assured him.
Leaning forward, he kissed my forehead tenderly. "I love your fight, my dear. It shall be amusing to admire in the years to come. But do not oppose me."
"I will oppose with everything I have when you attempt to rape me tonight," I whispered sourly, hoping it would knock him off his pedestal of kind power. My mind couldn't focus on what he was saying, not with these thoughts of what was to come.
He surprisingly laughed at me then. "My darling, tonight when I take you as my own, you will not think to fight me. I assure you that you will be begging me for more." He leaned forward then and whispered in my ear, "your body will be delighting at my hands, as your soul gives out to my own."
I pulled my hands from his, and stepped back and away. "You are impressively rude and presumptuous, Lord Angelus!" I announced. "I want nothing to do with you. Why not have a mistress tend to you this evening? After all, short of raping me, you will never have me any other way, I assure you."
"I do not want a mistress," he chuckled softly, amusement still fuelling his personality. "I high intend to break off every affair I am having, and be completely faithful to you, my love. And if it takes time to get into your bed, then I will take a vow of celibacy until that time arrives." He stepped close again and smirked, "but rest assured, that you will be in mine, tonight."
~~
Dinner was passed in a rather uneventful manner. I preferred to sit and brood where I was, whereas Angelus wished to make slight conversation about every day matters. It bugged me so, that that he could act as if nothing had happened, and I hadn't been wronged or hurt by him today.
After dinner, I asked, "will you be retiring to your study for a glass of brandy then?"
He smirked softly, "and leave you alone on our wedding night? Darling, I can't bare it!"
"Funny," I mused, "I could."
He stood and came over to me. He offered his hand, and with doubt that rebellion would help my case at the moment, I accepted his hand resentfully, and allowed him to lead me from the room.
As we wandered through the long halls of this monstrous 'home' I felt my nerves growing more and more desperate with each passing step. Angelus remained calm as he guided me, raising my hand to his lips and whispering an endearment or two into my knuckles.
When finally we arrived at the door to the master suite, I felt my control break. I stepped away from him, and sobbed brokenly, though no tears were cried. He turned to look at me, a flash of anger stroking through his dark gaze. "Buffy..." he trailed off in warning. He seemed to be attempting to come towards me like I was a frightened doe that would run at any second.
In a way, he was right, for a moment later: I bolted.
Running blindly, I raced down the grand, marble and gold staircase, with Angelus hot on my heels, calling commands to keep me from getting out, to the guards at the front doors of the chateau. I turned and ran the other way when I encountered the guards. Now my chasers were strong and many.
I knew, deep down inside, that I had no actual chance of escape, but running forever seemed like a better idea than getting caught and punished for running.
I could only wonder how long my legs would last before I ran myself into pain.
Racing back towards the kitchen, I couldn't help looking back to see if I had lost him in the chase. This was the mistake that most people made. Now I discovered it sadly to be...
My mistake.
I ran straight into him. Damn him for knowing the trap doors to his castle! I tried to squirm free, pushing away with all the strength I could muster.
Angelus' anger let go, and he grabbed me roughly around the waist, then moving to hold my arms. "Stop!" he yelled harshly, holding my arms so hard that my skin bruised purple and blue almost immediately from the pressure.
"No!" I screamed back, continuing to fight what he wanted to do to me. "I won't! I don't know you! I don't like you!" I tried to prove my point by thrashing about even more.
This just proved to anger him more. Pulling me to his chest, he whispered under his hot, growling breath, "you will love me soon. Until then, you can endure my love for you.�
"You don't love me!" I screamed, still trying to fight him off. "If you loved me, you'd have taken the time to get to know me before forcing me in to an act that decides the rest of my existence! You don't even know me! You don't love me! You don't love me!"
Softening slightly as he realized he'd lost a hold of his rage, he looked softer. "My dear, I love you with all I am. I will prove that to you now." Sweeping me into his arms, he began back to the bedroom with long, determined strides.
My mind was set then. I would not-NOT-break. He had confessed earlier, his plans to make me a willing participant in the activities of the night. Now I would harbour my own plan, of being just the opposite. Let us just see how much fun he has making mad love with a ball of unmovable wax!
When we arrived in the suite, he moved to lay me down on the bed. This room was so masculine and dark. It was decorated all in maroons and silvers. There were hints of black here and there as well. Overall, it was harsh and cold, with low candles lit, and a blazing fire in the marble fireplace at the end of the room.
Angelus, as evil as he was, looked impeccably glorious in the firelight. The flickers of flames slid across his features like a lover's caress, and I couldn't help feeling slightly warmer despite the chilling appearance of my surroundings and the evil soul of my ruthless attacker.
He took his time removing his wine-red, silk shirt. The view that met my gaze when his shirt was gone for good, was one that I shall shamefully harbour in my mind. His muscles were chiselled and perfect, reminding me of a sculpture in a museum, for he really did look like a work of art.
He came forward then, stalking me in all his predatorial glory. He was undeniably intriguing to me, and I wondered briefly if I would be able to remain as passive as I had resolved to. But then the thought crossed through my mind that I didn't know this cruel man that wished to torture me. That reconfirmed my decision, and I looked at the man before me with no emotion.
Not even anger.
Stepping up to me, it was precisely convenient that the bed was so high up that I found myself sitting on the end of the bed, but comfortably at his hips.
Leaning forward, he pressed a tender kiss to my lips. I resisted the allure presented in his infinitely gentle motions, though it tried on my personality to a great extent.
As he kissed me, his hands slid forward to begin unbuttoning the high collar of my dress. I tensed, but then remembered I was to show no emotion, and allowed myself to relax and endure. His kiss showed he was confused by my lack of reaction, but he was no put out so easily. Having my top now undone, he slid his hands over my bare skin.
I couldn't help tensing in my nervous state. He was affecting my body, though my mind was refusing his actions. His hand trailed down to my breast, and he cupped it tenderly. I felt the first stirring of an unknown passion igniting in the pit of my stomach, and I couldn't help pushing my chest forward to better his grasp.
If I was this easy to win over, what would happen when he wanted me to fall in love? I would doubtlessly fall head over heels with no pre-amble. Damn my foolish thoughts that I could fight him.
As I was thinking, I hadn't noticed his hands had now pulled the remainder of my long dresses and skirts from my body, leaving me completely nude before him. I admit to my darkest self, that I desperately wanted him to find me beautiful, and by the intense look of passion in his eyes, I guessed that he did.
"I admit to being a jealous man, my love," he whispered in my ear in a husky voice as his left hand travelled up my thigh in an intimate suggestion. "If I find that your innocence has been soiled, I may fly in to a mad rage."
I gasped at this, though I tried to hide my shock in a last-minute attempt to take control of my already depleted defences. Something inside of me wanted to reassure him I had not been taken by another, so that he would continue to make love to me. But then again, if he was mad at the idea that I had been de-flowered, he may just beat me instead of making love to me. If he made love to me, he'd have the power to make me respond to his gentle touched, and I hated that he could have such control over my mind.
In all honesty I'd prefer he beat me. Then, at least, I would be able to assure myself that he had no power of me because he could cause me pain. My brother and father had beaten me, and I had come to take it as a sign that they could do nothing else to control me. It was their last attempts to exert power.
I let out a surprised shriek then, as he slid a long, elegantly muscular finger into me. I wasn't even damp, which my nanny had once informed me made it easier for the first time. I can still remember my nanny telling me honestly, "Buffy, dear, the first time is quite painful. But if you will your body to get moist and wet, it won't be quite so bad for you then."
Pain flickered through me ten times worse when he encountered my hymen. But the smile on his face at this new proof of my innocence calmed me though it shouldn't have. "My dear, it seems you always knew I would be the first for you, and have decidedly ignored all other male passions. I must say I am quite pleased." He stood up straight then, and whispered a command that I wondered if I had heard correctly.
He wanted me to finish undressing him? What kind of whore does he think I am?
"N-no," I whispered under my breath.
Angelus snarled softly, and took my hands in his own. He guided them to the top of his pants, and made the command once more. I began to cry as I complied. How could someone be so awful?
Having removed him from his clothing, my fears grew larger at the site of him before me, completely aroused. By what, I had no idea. I had made no move to attempt to arouse him, like nanny had said I would have to do in order to make him so...Big.
His manhood was much larger than nanny had said it would be, and I silently cursed that she had not explored more to find someone with which to compare her brief romantic liaisons with the butler. Maybe then I would have been more prepared...
Angelus moved around the bed, and lay down with his head resting comfortably on the pillows. "Come here," he commanded in a low voice that spoke how serious he was.
I couldn't keep fresh tears from coming. If I fought him now, he'd force me and make it worse. In his current state, I could only assume there was a chance he'd be gentle. But if I angered him...
"Buffy," he said my name darkly, as if to get my attention again. It dawned on me that several moments had passed, and I had not made a move towards him. "Buffy, come here," his patience was beginning to wear thin.
Blushing, I finally complied. I slid in to his waiting arms, and waited for him to begin his abuse of my body. But he made no move to do anything but hold me...and stroke me.
His hands were travelling uncharted territory. He pressed tenderly on my mound with one hand, while the other pinched my nipple to a hard, aroused peak. He leaned down and kissed my neck, laving at the veins on my neck with his tongue.
**
I wanted to continue my gentle assault, but when she made those breathy moans, I couldn't control myself any longer. I checked her readiness, and to my relief I found she wasn't as dry as she had been moments earlier.
But it would still be tight...and painful.
Though I knew my out-of-character actions of the moment were entirely harsh and carnal, I couldn't seem to deny my craving for Buffy Summers. Upon laying eyes on her, I'd know I had to have her. Now I had her in my bed, and the temptation was too great.
Rolling onto her, I positioned myself between her thighs, parting them with my knees. The fright in her eyes increased yet again, and I kissed her to keep from having to look.
"I love you," I whispered to her lips, and pushed inside her tight depths. It was next to impossible to get into her, for she was so tense and so deliciously tight around me. I worried that I might tear her, but it was just a momentary thought, as all other thoughts in regards to the well-being of either of us, fled my mind entirely.
**
He was too big, and it was hurting too much.
Crying for him to stop, I found my lips attacked once more with his own. Was that his only way of dealing with things? To shut me up with a kiss? Even worse, was when he encountered my hymen. Pushing through completely, I sobbed brokenly. "It hurts," I whispered. "Oh dear Lord, it hurts so much. Please stop. You're hurting me."
"I don't mean to, my love," he whispered against my lips as he pulled out just enough to push back in firmly. "I love you, my dear. I love you."
My tears came freely then, accompanied as usual, by the awful acts of trembling and sniffling.
I didn't know how much more of this pain I could endure. He was beginning to slide in and out of me with slightly more ease than before, but it was still slicing pain through my entire being. His breath was beginning to shorten, and I wondered if he was feeling those rapturous sensations that I had heard my brother and his friends speak of during their joyous drinking occasions.
**
I was teetering on the edge, and despite the pain-I knew Buffy was close. I slid one hand between us to pinch her pleasure bud ever-so gently. She was surprised by the intimate contact, but it had the desire effect, and soon sent her into orgasm.
As I felt her inner muscles clenching around me, I couldn't keep my control. With one final thrust inside of her, I came; spilling my seed deep inside of her hot depths. She shrieked at the feeling, and attempted to free herself from the kiss I had her involved in. Sensing it was a lose-lose situation, something in her just gave up, and she passed out beneath me.
Coming to settle above her, I looked down at my unconscious lover. She had so enraptured my soul to the point that that I hadn't taken a moment to consider the hesitation this would put in her mind towards all future acts of intimacy with me. It was going to be a challenge to get her to be a willing participant in our heated escapades together.
But now was no time to consider it. I rolled to the side, and pulled her into my arms. I cradled her head to my heart, whispering my love into her ear.
And soon, I joined her in the comfort of sleep.
~~
Upon waking up, I felt evil.
What else is there for me to say?
The day before, I took a beautiful, mysterious, glorious girl from her home, forced her to wed instantly, and then taken her home and seduced her without taking the time to introduce her to love-making properly. It was really the latter, that I was the most concerned with right now. How could I expect to win her hear and share my love with her, if she drew away at every touch?
I turned onto my side, blinking my eyes open. There next to me, was the object of my desire: Beautiful and elegant in her own unique right.
I thought she was asleep, and attempted to pull her into my arms. But apparently she was an extremely light sleeper. She sat up, clutching the sheets to her naked chest, looking frightened and confused. She opened her mouth to ask a question, and then she looked down at me.
Her eyes widened in realized horror, and she jumped back, tumbling off the bed and landing hard on the floor, taking the sheet with her to cover herself from my previously unobstructed view.
"Buffy!" I leapt off the bed and went around to pull her into my arms. She pushed away and tried to crawl across the floor to the door. She probably didn't know that it was locked. I sat back and waited, leaning against the side of the bed to watch her. I felt almost like I was watching a wild animal trying to escape the cage they'd just been forced into. It occurred to me that basically, I was.
A broken sob escaped her lips when she realized the door was locked, and there was nowhere for her to run. She turned to look at me, and her world crumbled once more. Her eyes filled with tears, and she buried her face in her hands. It broke my heart to see her like this. She was feeling so much pain, all because of me. This was completely my fault, and she was the one suffering for it.
After several moments of just listening to her quiet voice as she cried, I made a move to get closer to her. She flinched away at the movement, and huddled back in to the corner of the room. Hugging her knees to her chest, she began to rock back and forth in an ever-intensifying display of pain and betrayal.
I couldn't stand being so close to her as she cried, and having no power to help her out from her sadness. She wouldn't look at me. It was like she couldn't...Or rather, she wouldn't.
Now I was cursing my actions. If only I'd taken the time to teach her what love could be like. Now she was going to have to take her time learning, slowly, patiently, in fear.
Finally, I gave in to the inevitable, and I got to my feet. She crouched down lower into her knees, if that was possible, and held herself tightly, as if trying to stop her body from shaking. I moved closer to her, and leaned down slowly, to pick her up into my arms, making sure I kept the sheet with me.
"No," she begged as I lifted her into the air, "Please no." She began to sob less and less as more of the fight left her vibrant character.
I tried to calm her fears, but she was too scared to listen to reason. That wasn't my only problem, however. Just being near to her made me hungry for her. I knew that I was going to have to deny myself if I wanted her to love and trust me. And denying myself, is something I hate to do.
"Put me down," she begged, trying to squirm out of my grasp. "Please just put me down." Her voice was quiet, but filled with enough despair to match a scream of intense pain. I could only guess how bad she felt.
"I can't," I choked out the words, sitting down on the bed and wrapping my arms around her completely. She gave up her fights, and allowed herself to cry into my shoulder, hitting my chest with balled fists but no real energy. She wanted to hurt me, but she was so emotionally drained that she couldn't.
All of a sudden...Her sobs stopped.
"Baby?" I quested, looking down at her as she stopped crying. The silence of the room was so loud. Every little noise was heightened. The sound of the clock out in the hall. The dog barking outside. Everything.
I began to wonder if she was still alive. She was just sitting there, accepting the fact that she was being held. She was betraying no emotions or thoughts, and her face and gaze were completely blank. "Please don't do this to me," I whispered, gripping her tightly and rocking her back and forth. At least when she was crying and hating me, I knew I could make it better eventually. But now she wasn't doing anything. So how the Hell am I supposed to help her?
"I love you," I told her honestly. "I love you. I love you." I continued to rock her back and forth in my arms. But still she said nothing. She didn't even move. It was like all of a sudden, she couldn't feel anything.
But I bet there's something she can feel.
I reached my hand around, and loosened my grip on the sheet covering her. It dropped down to her waist, but she still didn't respond. I moved my fingers slowly up her sides, hoping that I could get some sort of reaction out of her. It worked. She shuddered under my touch. But then she resumed her docile frame of mind.
I leaned close and nibbled on her ear lobe, breathing hot and heavy breaths into her ear. My fingers moved to play with her nipples, twisting and pinching them into hard little peaks that displayed that her body was enjoying my attention. I licked the shell of her ear, and whispered, "do you like that?" She still didn't say anything, but she closed her eyes.
I knew that now she wasn't unresponsive. She was just trying to make it seem like she was. She was probably hoping that if I didn't get a reactiopn, I'd get bored and leave her alone.
Never. She's enraptured me so, and I can't bare the thought of ever leaving her alone. Let alone, leaving her at all.
My left hand continued to stimulate her left breast as my right hand trailed down her stomach, to her nest of blonde curls. I massaged her mound, shocking her so much that she pulled back from me. However, when she pulled back from my hand, she was pushing her derriere even harder into my groin. I groaned and shut my eyes, trying to keep control. If I was going to show her love, I had to control myself.
Resist. Resist. It became my mantra.
I massaged her curls again, and this time she didn't pull away. She fought to hold her calm attitude, even though I could hear her heartbeat picking up the pace as I pinched her nipples, licker her ear, massaged her clit...
"Ah!" she let out a surprised noise as I lifted her and placed her conveniently on my erection, so she was straddling it. I could feel the heat from her tight depths about half-way down my shaft, and I could see the head of my cock poking out from between her thighs. It provided an utterly sensual sight. I'd have to remember to sketch it into coal and paper later.
I used my fingers to part the lips covering her wet channel, and I slid her down a little bit more, so that there was a bit of pressure at the entrance of her channel, but not enough to make her nervous. Then I began a slow rhythm with my fingers on her clitoris, that soon made her let out a breathy sigh.
Hearing it, I couldn't help smiling. I kissed down the side of her neck, licking her skin tenderly from where I sat behind her. As she began to surge with the rhythm I was setting, I began to move my lower body with her, so that my rod swiped back and forth over the entrance to her wetness. She gasped; her eyes flying open at the new sensation, and pressed harder down on me.
I was so incredibly hot just from taking my time pleasuring her, that I found myself near orgasm. I shut my eyes to hold back. I couldn't take my pleasure with her right now. This was supposed to be about her pleasure.
Her pleasure.
She came then, letting out a soft and breathy moan as her inner muscles surged and clenched with her pleasure, gripping the small amount of my cock that was inside her channel. It took several moments for her to calm down then, but when she finally opened her eyes, they showed that she was in awe.
"I love you," I whispered into her ear, wanting her to hear it again and again until she completely understood how devoted I was to her. She turned her head slowly, cautiously, until she could look me in the eye.
"You don't even know me," she whispered, casting her gaze downwards. The pain was back in her face, and I wanted nothing more than to soothe it again. If only I could just keep her at the height of pleasure for the next few days, she'd learn to love me back, with ease.
"I know you," I told her, turning her around very gently, so that she straddled my lap. "I love you, because I know you." As I said this, her gaze went down once more. But upon seeing my erection, she shut her eyes all-together, and began to chew on her lower lip. I lifted her chin with one finger and begged, "look at me, baby."
She let out a shaking breath, and opened her eyes. Holding my gaze with hers, I could finally see her soul. She was so incredibly beautiful, inside and out. "You were meant for me," I told her as the realization set into my own mind. "And I was born for you. Nothing will ever hurt you now."
"Except you," she whispered under her breath.
I solemned again. She was right. I had hurt her. I had forced her into a marriage that she knew nothing about, and then I had taken her despite her refusal. True, it's legal for a man to do that to his wife. But also true, Buffy's more than my wife now. She's my companion. My consort. My love. My mate.
My everything.
"I don't always hurt you," I tried to remind her. "I've made mistakes, yes. But I've never had the intent to hurt you. I only want you to be with me, love. That's all I want anymore." I looked into her eyes as I spoke, and she parted her lips slightly, as if that was the only way she could remind herself to breathe.
"Will you hurt me?" she asked then, her eyes staying locked on mine.
"Will you leave me?" I asked back.
I could tell then, that she understood. I wouldn't hurt her, or punish her, as long as she remembered who she belonged to, and stopped trying to fight me. As the new revelation set in, I grasped her around the hips, and lifted her.
I leaned my face forward, and captured her lips for a smoldering kiss that I found she responded to. Tentatively, at first. She pressed her lips back against my own, and when I parted my mouth to come over hers again, she opened her mouth. I took the granted access, and slid my tongue inside her mouth, tasting her essence. I hoped my kiss would distract her as I lowered her dripping folds down onto my hungry rod. But she still noticed. Her eyes shot open, but she didn't break the kiss. I heard her whimper as pain rippled through her body from whatever was left of her hymen. I stayed still, just waiting for her to calm down.
Finally she let out the breath that she'd been holding, and looked down at me. "Why did you choose me?" she asked in a soft voice that I had to strain to hear.
I smirked, "that's what I wanted to ask you." With that, I lifted her hips until I was almost completely outside of her. Then I slid her back down again. She was so hot, it burned. Her gaze locked with mine as I lifted her again, bringing her back down with a slight twist that sent a flash of pleasure through her eyes.
She surprised me then by lifting her hands and placing them on my shoulders, holding me still while she looked down at me. I let her take her time studying me, memorizing the lines of my face. I knew what she was looking for. Answers. Reasons. The truth. All of the above.
And then, as quickly as she'd began her search-she ended it. Keeping her eyes locked on my own, she lifted herself off of me, and held herself suspended in the air, braced on my shoulders.
Her eyes were a dark mossy green that told me so much, yet revealed nothing about what she was thinking. But her next move gave me everything I needed to know. She reached one foot behind her to locate the floor. Then the other.
And she stepped away from me.
"You never answered me," she said finally.
I couldn't help but wonder how on earth she expected me to answer her when she was standing naked in front of me. All I could think about was her tight, wet folds clenching me as I entered, and squeezing me into I exploded. That, and perhaps, her tight little pussy contracting around my tongue...But that's another adventure. "What?" I finally found my voice and a slight percentage of my brain capacity.
"You never answered my question. Why did you choose me?" She asked it again, not moving an inch.
I sighed. Now it all made sense. She was looking for a reason to be mad at me so that she could fight my seduction tactics. "Buffy," I took her hand and made her step forward to me. "Buffy, our marriage is going to be happy. You, are going to be happy. No matter what. It's best if you start to accept that now. If you fight it, then I'll have to force you into happiness, and neither of us want it to come to that."
"So what you're really saying is...If I don't act happy, you'll beat me until I smile?" she raised an eyebrow and tossed a perplexed look at me.
I dropped her hands with a sigh. This wasn't going to get anywhere. At least, not right now anyways. I tapped her thigh gently and said, "go get dressed in the clothes laid out for you in your changing rooms. I'll see you at breakfast." And with that, I turned and left. This was definitely going to take a lot longer then I�d planned.
But I knew, in the end, my precious wife, would love me like I loved her.
Until death, do us part.
And perhaps a little longer then that.
~~