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Sean's Speech

Memories of Dean through the eyes of his three brothers

Sean, Brett and Luke

Deano was the type of person who always needed twice as many hours in a day. From the day he was born into our family, it was like he was wanting to catch up, including as he often used to get mum to tell us how he was born in such a quick time that the doctor almost needed a catcher's mitt to grab him before he flew out the window. We all remember him from when he was very little, being really busy. He was walking by nine months old and it used to be really funny coming home from school, watching this mini person running around the house. Dean didn't know what it meant to walk somewhere - he always ran.

As the youngest of four boys, he had a lot to deal with, but he was never one to back down from a fight, and he always stood up for himself. We were talking about all the stories we had to tell about Dean and decided each one of his brothers would share one story. Mine was when I was 18 and a real pain in the bum to live with, being a rebellious individual and Dean would have been about 8. He was always very close to our Mum and very protective of her, and one afternoon Mum and I were having some argument - I don't even remember what it was about - and suddenly Dean threw his Lego across the room and jumped at me. He wasn't going to stand for me yelling at Mum and he tried to bring me down. I was 6'2" and he would have been about 3'2", but that didn't stop him. He screamed and punched and kicked, and I just held him at arm's length, with his arms and legs flying, picked him up and put him outside the door. It was such a shock that Mum and I totally forgot what the argument was about and burst out laughing. There was silence on the other side of the door for about a minute, so I eventually opened the door to see what had happened to him and he was waiting there like a coiled spring, and flew through the door ready to take up where he left off. Dean did have quite a temper, but usually only if Carlton or an Australian tennis player lost, or if someone picked on his family or friends. He was an expert at turning the other cheek for himself, but you never picked on someone he cared for. He was always loyal, loving and protective of the people who mattered to him, especially Mum.

Brett's story was when he was playing in a football final and there was this ten-year-old maniac in the crowd who barracked so loud that he was a one man cheer squad. Dean used to follow Brett around like a shadow when he was young and he thought Brett could do no wrong, so when Brett's team lost, he alternated between sobbing and hurling abuse at the opposing team as they left the field. That night he received a special award for the most enthusiastic supporter, and he was so proud, you thought he would have just won the Brownlow medal. Dean absolutely loved his sport and was a gifted athlete - there are 17 trophies in his room for tennis, football and athletics. He was also well respected as a great team player, and when he kicked a goal or played a good shot, he would always answer with a comment like, "Oh, but it wasn't as good as the one you did just before" or something like that.

Luke and Dean were the closest in age and shared a room until the end of last year and I remember most of all the two of them fighting, which was hilarious before Dean started growing, because he was the squirt of the family and Luke was the string bean, and it looked like such an uneven match. As usual, Dean always gave as good as he got and he was also the one with the biggest mouth. Despite their early struggles, in recent times, the two of thembecame the very, very best of mates, and I know Dean shared much of his life the past year or so, the good times and the bad.

Dean William Christiansen

But in the bad old days of two young teenagers, sharing a room, there was one time when Dean decided to stir Luke up and put a couple of porno magazines under Luke's mattress hanging out for Mum to find - which of course she did and Luke could no way convince Mum that it wasn't him but her little angel that put them there. As usual, Dean's conscience got the better of him and he confessed , but not until two days later. Dean was never able to lie properly and had such a strong sense of justice that he could never let anything like that go on for long.

Dean was a person who saw the goodness in the world. He always believed the best of people, and despite the fact he was very, very good at school, he got the nickname 'Dumb Dean' because he would believe any ridiculous story he was told. In a sense, it was an innocence he never lost despite things that happened to him, and it was finding out that the world did hold things that were not good and kind, that he found very hard to deal with. He was the type of son that every parent dreams of. He was hard working and gifted academically, a great sportsman, and with his hobbies of music and acting, he was a star as well. He always felt the responsibility of trying to make people proud of him and always tried to make sure he didn't disappoint anyone. Of course he never did, sometimes at a huge cost to himself. Dean could forgive anyone anything, but the only person he couldn't forgive even for imagined things was himself.

Dean battled against problems within himself for about eighteen months, but most of the time he battled alone - not wanting to worry anyone and not wanting to admit his weakness. There is no doubt how stubborn he was, but also how incredibly brave and strong.

I have never known anyone as well loved as Dean. From kindergarten he was the one kid invited to everyone's birthday party. He found our constant moving around hard because he made such strong friendships from an early age, and hated having to move to a new place and a new school, but it would take him no time to make a new tribe of friends. When Dad left the army, Dean was so glad that he could settle down in one place and the friends he made once we moved back to Melbourne were the ones he was to have for life. His best mate Ian became like a brother from when they were twelve, and sort of became interchangable in each other's family. Ian will talk on behalf of Dean's friends in a minute, but one group of friends that I want to mention were his friends on the internet. In the time of his long period of struggle, he met and became very friendly with a group of people over the world, who became like a part of our everyday life. They were a great support to him and we got used to hearing about Daniel, Brett, Rob and the others when ever Dean was talking. To him they were as important as any other part of his life, and I know that they are thinking of him now although they can't be here.

Dean had so many skills, but I think his greatest one was to be loved. No person I have ever known could make other people feel so good about themselves and what they were doing and he gave so much and so generously of himself. I know he had been in love himself - first of all with Jan, who even after their relationship ended as boyfriend and girlfriend, stayed very near and dear. Dean fell in love with someone after that, who we never got to meet, but I know that this person was a very lucky and much loved man, who he was thinking of at the end.

I know I have gone on for a long time, but I haven't even begun to talk about all the things there are to say about Dean. He lost a very tough struggle against demons that he couldn't escape. The sad fact that there is evil in the world is something I have to face everyday working in the police force, but to counter that there is also much good. The greatest tragedy of what happened to Dean is that he never could see how much good he brought to everyone's life, and if he could only have seen himself through the eyes of everyone that loved him, he would still be with us I think. He gave everyone who knew him a very precious gift of sharing his life with them, and it is a gift we must continue to treasure to show that no matter how short his life was, it was a great one.

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Sean, Brett and Luke Christiansen

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