"Flickering Hope"
by
Alison Aubrecht
Sitting down after another exhausting day, I begin to doubt myself. What am I doing? Is this whole cause, the fight for TV/CINEMA, for FACUNDO, and for the equal education of the Deaf worth it? I met yet another person who looks at me, his or her eyes full of doubt. A tiny part of me feels like giving up, but it’s that very doubt that fuels the fire within me. I know I may not be right on every point I make, and I may not see everything through clear eyes. But I also know that I’m not wrong. I know that when I first listened to two students express their frustration with the initial CLOSING (later merging?) of the TV/CINEMA major, I found myself feeling baffled. That they would make a mistake with such a vital part of our community left me questioning the administration. TV/CINEMA, the core vessel of our language. And a pathway that will allow groundbreakers to present our ideas, our culture, and our needs through the eyes of our community. Gallaudet wants, even thinks of shutting that down rather than spicing it up? And without any valid explanation why? Needless to say, I wanted to know more. And, indeed, I ended up more confused at the end. Closing, not closing. TV/CINEMA, videography. Not enough majors, many majors. Refusing to sign on new majors. Too costly. Speaking of which, I finally understand something. At first, I’m thinking, what are you talking about? Look at Ceramics, with their brand new KILN and how many majors does ceramics have? One? Two? AH! That’s right. Linda Jordan has a passion for art, specifically some forms of ceramics. Suddenly things make sense (but then again don’t). Talking to students about Facundo Montenegro left me in shock. Not one negative comment came out of the students. And then I met him, but briefly. In that short time he saw me in a different way than most faculty do—not as another student but as a human being worth taking the time to talk to. Immediately, I knew this was a teacher I would love to have. The kind that you’d still be talking about twenty years later. Him, asked to leave? Starting to sound like a broken record right? Why is this still an issue? I wonder. After a rather disturbing meeting with the Provost of Gallaudet University, we were left with no solutions. So we decided instead to make a videotape. That was censored by the Provost. Since then, nothing has changed. No one has been willing to meet with us, discuss our concerns. Through this whole thing I’ve began to see something bigger than I expected to see. I see an University for the Deaf that does not have the heart, the determination to see the Deaf succeed. Why? Some days I suspect AUDISM. After all, if the Deaf begin to think for themselves, they won’t need people to think for them. (Goodbye to a lot of faculty, staff, and administrators). Some days I suspect crab-theory type of politics. Some days it seems everyone’s greedy. But one thing is true—very few are honest. Behind closed doors, so much dirt. SO much wrath and vicious words. Fear is instilled in many faculty and staff members. Hopelessness in students. Motivation drained. I wonder, I.King Jordan, is it really worth it for students in the next four or five years to suffer, to lose chances of succeeding, just so you can retire with a peaceful slate? Go out in glory? The community thanks you in advance.