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Cryin' Since I Met You |
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Nov 8 2002 |
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November Long Weekend Brings Ethical Problem: Is It Wrong To Play Paintball On Rememberance Day? |
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This November Eleventh families across Canada will pay a one or two hour tribute to the millions who died for our freedom. That leaves 34 hours to enjoy that freedom. Like many young Canadians, Scott McKay, 21, has a basic understanding of the horrors of war, but has already seen Spiderman twice. "I'm not spending that much time with my parents." McKay was quoted as saying. "No way." |
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Video Game Industry More Pumped to Attack Iraq Than Arms Industry |
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Stuck with a vast overstock of WWII and Cold-War era games in a saturated market, the video game industry is pushing for a full scale invasion of Iraq by US forces soon. Games like "Battlefeild 42" and "Metal of Honor", once hot, have cooled down as gamers master the use of 30-year old weaponry. Companies like Accalim are lobbying the US for a war that will include; fast urban warfare, the assasination of Hussian, over 170 different weapons and fifteen unique stages of battle. |
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Cool in 2001 |
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Edmonton Attempts To Ignite Its Core By Firing Proton Torpedos Into The Thermal Exhaust Port |
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After a decade of decreasing sales and population in its downtown core, Edmonton City Hall has announed a new plan to get things going. The new hope is that a direct hit will cause a chain-reaction that will cause the downtown economy to explode. Some say that it's impossible, even for a computer, but others believe they can "force" it to happen. Chinatown is pushing for a 3.5% decrease in utiliy taxes. |
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Phone Company Wants You To Take Financial Advice From Alf, Carrottop and Mr.T |
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Apperently targeting people who think that re-runs on the new TNN are really new, new phone ads are hoping to gain customers who loved the neo-liberal monetary polices from such insightfull 1980's TV shows as "The A-Team". World recognised investment banker and 1-800-Collect spokesman, Hulk Hogan, was visably upset upon hearing that a life-insurance company had hired Tony Danza and Scrappy Doo, in a mimicing campaign. An offened Hogan pointed out the rising strength of the US bond market, then ripped off his shirt. |
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Mr.T pitys fools who don't maximuze thier RRSP contributions. |
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