Massive Conscription Begins Immediately
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| The #2 Canadian Bananarama Fan Site Since Mid-2001 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Dec 6th 2002 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| World Bank Solves Third World Unemployment: Massive Conscription Begins Immediately |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| The latest in a series of projects, aimed at eliminating third world debt, the World Bank/IMF have decided to give military jobs to millions of people living in poverty. The new "Guardians of Trade" will be paid on a monthly basis minus the debt owed by the soldier's home country. Jeasus Hannova, of Columbia, was quite happy with his new job with the IMF, saying that the 32 cents he will get (minus the $4 billion US owed by Columbia) will be used to feed his family, and protest them from the horrors brought to his land by Drug lords, poverty, and the World Bank/IMF. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Bush Demands Resignation of Seattle Anthropologist Who Called Him A "Homosapian" | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| After referring to questionable-president George W. Bush as a "Homosapian" in a private, but taped, conversation with his son, Dr. Gerald Woo now faces manditory early retirement. Collegues were quick to try to disarm the comment by pointing out actions by the president "Don't seem to indicate much beyond Neannderthal capacity." but to no avail. The head of Woo's department went on the record as saying Bush is "Not a Homosapian at all", but will most likely still suffer the inital blows from the upcoming "War on Science" - a new war hoped to jump-start the oil economy by 2008. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Purely Coinsidence. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Hati Protests As World Bank Drafts 85% Of Its Population | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Hatian President Jean-Bertrand Aristide has just launched a formal compliant against the World Bank/IMF after learning that the vast majority of Hati, including himself, had been conscripted into joining the new International Body of Peace / Armed Goons Corps. In a related story, the World Bank announced that it has selected its first military target - a small French-speaking island "somewhere" in the Western Hemisphere, which has "hindered IMF projects". | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Thousands of Japanese Girls Heartbroken As Dance-Dance Revolution Refuses To Return Calls | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Aa translation of a letter from young Japanese schoolgirls to Dance-Dance-Revolution arcade machines around the world, shows the blatent insensitvity of the popular video game. The letter clearly states how much fun the machine and girls had on numerous occasions, yet the machine's refusal to phone, just "hang out with" or meet the parents of any of the girls has casued "insufferable heartache". The progamers of Dance-Dance responded that the machine was "...designed only to play, not to love." Dance-Dance's only responce to the allogations was an energetic, "Let's go! Whee!" combined with flashing lights. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Dead Moose Head Button Links Finally Do Something. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| After almost a year of having little blue, black and white "target things" that just sat there, DMH has finally starting putting in the links to the satired stories. Leaked reports state thar DMH may even learn to spell, or start watching for unsightly typos by early 2004, but this is highly unlikely. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Next Page | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Previous Page | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||