Death Is A Huge Curve Ball
Back Into The Light
Now I will tell you about the escape that my son made, from death to a much better outlook on life and finally realizing his capabilities.
Jeff was released from the hospital on Christmas Day. The day was quite a mix up as we tried our best to make my granddaughters First Christmas special and at the same time being exhausted and angry.
I should first mention that my son did let us know that he received the methadone from his step-brother, a known heroin addict that was receiving treatments through a local clinic. He was allowed to bring two doses home over the Christmas Holiday because there would be no one working in the office that weekend to hand it out. He and my son went outside and his step-brother gave it to him. Jeff took the whole dose, he thought he would get high. He had no clue that several hours later, his friend Adam would have to administer CPR to him and that his father would have to give him mouth to mouth to try to save his life. He had no idea that hours later he would be lying face down in his own throw-up or that his heart would stop beating. He didn��t know that people he had grown up around all his life would be on the ambulance that would save his life. He didn't know that the police would be searching his room that night to find marijuana in his underwear drawer. All my son knew at the time was that this was a new way for him to get high, that he was 17 and that bad things that happen to other people couldn't happen to him.
When Jeff took that Methadone, he changed his entire life. I wish that it had been of his own admission that things weren��t working out so great before he took that dose. But he didn��t.
He now faced having to go to Juvenile Services where they would decide what would happen next with him. He also lost his home. He wasn��t allowed to go back to his father's. And although I was scared to death of what it would bring, he did come live with me. He had to face all the people that he hurt that night. He had already lost any trust that all of the parents had in him. He had dropped out of school with no possibilities at this late date to go back. He was in the pits of hell and all I could do was yell at him. I didn��t want to be nice to him. He broke my heart that night. His father and step-mother felt the same way, except they had to see him laying there on the floor like that.
There were many harsh words said Christmas night. There was a lot of back and forth about fault and blame. I tried to calm down, but that wasn��t going to happen. I left my son at my mothers house that night because I knew that bringing him with me was going to lead to more and more anger. I needed some time. I also needed to talk to my boyfriend about Jeff coming to live with us.
When my boyfriend came home, I talked to him about it. I knew that I had to do something, even if they hadn��t said Jeff couldn��t come home, if my son went back to that neighborhood, he would die. I had made the decision that if Pat said no, I would have to move out and get a place for Jeff and I. Sometimes there just aren��t any choices when we are parents and no matter what the cost, sometimes you have to step up and say this is the right thing for my child.
Turns out, I didn't have to worry about it anyway. Patrick is a wonderful man. He said that it was okay, however, if Jeff brought any drugs into the house at all, he would be out immediately.
So the agreement was made. Jeff moved in with nothing more than a mattress on the floor. He didn��t even have any clothes, they were all at his father��s house.
This began Jeff��s road to recovery. It has been a wonderful journey so far. I have never been this proud of my son as I have been since he moved in with us.
At first, Jeff was still fighting things. He was still getting very defensive, saying things, like there was nothing in his drawers, someone else planted the stuff there, he never tried any other drugs than pot with the exception of the methadone. He was covering for his friends, saying out and out that he wasn't a snitch.
He was awakened yet again when two of his friends died within two weeks of what had happened to him. One died in a drug-related car accident and the other from an accidental overdose. Jeff began to realize that not all kids get a second chance like he did. He was special because God chose him, of those three kids, to stay alive.
Jeff began to come clean with some things. He admitted that he had used other drugs before and that they were prescription medications that he bought from someone illegally. He also faced up to the fact that he wasn't going to get anywhere in this life without getting first his GED. Because of his history at school, he couldn't return so the GED was the only other solution.
We went to juvenile services together and the officer there said he felt that there was no need for Jeff to go through the court system. However, he had to go on a field trip to Johns Hopkins Shock Trauma. When he went, all the kids that rode with him told their stories about why they were there. When Jeff's turn came up, he apparently made a huge impression. He told his story with honesty and told the other kids that they were crazy if they did drugs. One kid put on a tough guy act saying that it could never happen to him. Jeff stayed after everyone but he and this boy left and he talked to the boy about things, trying to get him to change his attitude.
On the way home, Jeff told me about this boy that he saw at Shock Trauma that had been in a car accident. The kid that was driving the car was drunk. I believe that the driver died in the accident. The mother of the boy that was in the hospital talked to the kids and made quite an impression on my son. She gave him the My Space address where a daily posting was put up about her sons progress. Jeff has faithfully checked this site and recently found out that the boy got to go home, after months of laying in a coma and damage that can never be undone.
Jeff is finished his GED classes and in May will take the test. He also began a program called TechBridge, which is new to this area. Kids like Jeff and kids that just need a little help go there to learn computer skills. They build a computer, which they get to keep on successful completion of the program. They get monetary incentives for certain things that keep them wanting to complete the program. They learn how to apply for a job, how to make a resume', how to interview and most importantly, they learn skills to get a good job that will sustain them for the rest of their lives. My daughter is also in the program. She has never been in trouble, but she wants to make a better life for her and her daughter. I told my son, I have never been proud of both of my kids at the same time. It��s always one or the other. Now, I am very proud of both of them.
It is also notable that before all of this happened, my son and I hadn��t had a very good relationship in years. Since this has happened, I have realized my shortcomings when it comes to parenting. So, with the mixture of Jeff realizing his shortcomings and me realizing mine, we have had the best relationship ever in the last few months.
E-mail me
