Hannah suddenly realized that no matter what pain she’d been through in her life, she would have gone through anything just to hear him say those words. Now he was saying them, but she wasn’t so sure she believed them.

There was too much going against it. How could she believe them when earlier she’d caught him kissing another woman? If he loved her, why was he kissing Janine? It was like he had this plan to make her jealous, to get her to be the first to admit her feelings.

If there were feelings to admit on her part.

Either his plan failed miserable, which Hannah could understand, or he never thought even for a second that she felt the same way about him.

He was dead wrong if he thought for a second I didn’t, she thought.

No words were spoken between Lance and Hannah. Lance just stared at the ground, his shoes playing with a rock. Hannah’s eyes were focused on the water, now turning a darker color because of the fading sun. Neither knew honestly what to say.

It wasn’t until she finally realized that this would never be resolved if she didn’t say something that she lifted her head away from the water and looked over at him.

“Do you mean it? Or are you just saying that so you can get away from Janine?”

Lance looked a little hurt at that last bit. But he just shook his head like there was no doubt in his mind. “I said it because it’s the truth. I said it because I do love you. Is it really so hard to believe?”

“A little,” she admitted quietly. “I’ve seen you with a lot of girls on this ship. How am I supposed to believe that you have genuine feelings for me?”

“I guess I deserve that.”

He wanted to kick himself for parading around with all those women, especially when Hannah was around. He could understand why she wasn’t believe one word he was saying, but he wanted to make it right.

“So you’re telling me that Janine knew how you felt about me, so she came and threatened me because she thought that would keep me away from you. She just figured that you would get bored of waiting for me and realize that you didn’t love me?” Hannah was still trying to understand it all. The pieces were slowing starting to fit together.

Lance rubbed his face. He hadn’t shaved in God knows how long. “She threatened you?”

“Yes. Didn’t you know?” It was obvious that he didn’t. “Shit.” Hannah massaged her temples. “Shit,” she said again. “She’s going to kill me.”

Not over his dead body. “No, she won’t,” Lance said.

“You don’t understand.” Hannah thought back to those harsh words spoken by Janine just two days ago. “She said if I didn’t stay away from you, she’d make me pay. She said she’d throw me overboard if she had to.”

“She’s not going to throw you overboard. That I can promise you.”

“Can’t you see how dangerous she is?” Hannah said. “If she thinks for one second that she’s lost you to me, she’ll come after me. Somehow you have to make her believe that’s there’s nothing between us.”

“So she can still think there’s a chance for me and her? I don’t think so.”

She remained quiet for a minute, thinking as hard as she could of another way out of this situation. There wasn’t one.

“Just till we get to New York,” she said. “We’ll just have to  pretend that I did as she asked me to.”

He looked over at her. “And what exactly did she asked you to do?”

Hannah knew this was hard for him, just to admit that he cared about her. But saying that he was in love with her, had been such a huge step for him. She wanted to tell him how proud she was of him for taking such a risk. She wanted to tell him she loved him, too. But she knew if she did, he would flat out refuse this plan she had in mind to keep her life from being in the balance.

There would be no future for them if Janine found out the truth. She’d be dead before she and Lance could even begin to explore just exactly how deep their feelings went for each other.

“Lance, just listen to me. We have to stop hanging around each other so much.” Hannah had to take a minute to ask herself if this was the best thing to do. She knew without a doubt she had no choice, as much as it hurt to do it. “Go back to Janine,” she added quietly. “She’s who you should be with, not me.”

“You don’t feel the same way about me, do you?”

Hannah did her best to keep from shouting out the truth. She wanted so badly just to tell him that he wasn’t the only one that felt this way, that she was in love with him, too. But right now, she couldn’t speak those words. There was just too much at stake.

“No.” Lying was not her strong suit, but he seemed to be buying her words, her lies. “We need to stay away from each other. It’s for the best.”

“For you,” he said bitterly. It was getting colder. He wrapped his arms around himself, trying to forget that his heart was slowly breaking once again.

Hannah choked back a sob. “It is for you, too.”

“You’re just like the rest,” he spat with a curled lip. “You don’t care about me. You wormed your way into my heart, and now you’re just suddenly deciding that you don’t even want to see me anymore?  Don’t play this shit with me. I know how you all work.”

He was comparing her to his past loves, and she hated that. She hated being called all these names when she was just doing this to protect him. It wasn’t forever, and she wanted to tell him that so he wouldn’t feel so heartbroken. She wasn’t like the rest of them, damn it. She loved him, and it was her own damn fault.

Hannah could barely speak anymore. Her heart hurt and her lungs felt sore.

“Go back to Janine,” she said.

The image of Lance back with Janine made her heart sink. You’re doing this for him, she reminded herself.

The thought suddenly occurred to her that what if Lance got back together with Janine just because Hannah refused his love? What if they got back together for real and once they got to New York she wouldn’t have the chance to tell him how she really felt?

It was a chance Hannah was prepared to take.

Lance disappeared into the night, his hands tucked in his pockets. You could almost see the tears that were staining his cheeks from the distance. He didn’t speak another word to Hannah. He just walked away, reminding himself that if he looked back, he might just run to her and beg her to change her mind.

When she was alone again, Hannah slumped down against a wall and cried.

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