So, the moment had passed. He had felt sorry for her, gotten
her hopes up, and now he was breaking her heart without even knowing it.
Lisa was across the room, slow dancing with JC. It looked like they had worked things out. Her arms were around JC’s neck, and he was whispering something into her ear.
Hannah just wanted to get out of here. She didn’t think she could watch Lance for one more minute with that girl across the room.
He was dancing with Janine.
This stupid party was a waste of time, Hannah thought. She didn’t even want to be here. She had been quite happy wrapped up in Lance’s arms earlier. He had even kissed her, though it was just a few soft pecks on the cheek. To her, it was still a kiss.
She had opened up to him totally and completely. And he had listened, and he had cared. It was new side of Lance that Hannah had seen. The sensitive, emotional side. She wondered if anyone else knew how sensitive he really was.
Janine was running her hands over Lance’s back. Hannah wanted to throw something glass at her head.
Why was he dancing with her, anyway? He didn’t even like her. She had cheated on him. Hannah wanted to march over there and cut in, but then remembered the threats that kept her from doing what she wanted to do.
She just wanted Lance alone again. Hannah was starting to realize that that was never going to happen again. Tonight had been the one and only time that they would bond like that. Her heart felt like it was breaking piece by piece.
She had never loved anyone. After her parent’s deaths, she had promised herself that she would never trust anyone, never let anyone into her heart. But that had all changed on the poop deck, when Lance first approached her.
Forever, that memory would stay in her mind, probably remind her every so often what mistake she had made by not trusting him in the first place.
They were all hanging down in the lounge. Joey had gotten news about a huge party, and had told Chris, which lead to everybody else finding out. When Lance and Hannah were out walking on the boat deck after Lisa had come back from talking with JC, Justin had approached them and told them about the party.
At first Lance had refused, but Hannah could tell he really wanted to go. He missed his life, his partying lifestyle.
He was watching her now, out of the corner of his eye. Hannah was unaware of it and kept sipping on the punch, the bitter taste burning her tongue. She threw the cup away in the trash and looked around the room.
That’s when she caught Lance looking at her. But he was no longer dancing with Janine. Now he was grinding with some blonde that barely looked out of her teens.
Hannah took her gaze away from Lance, afraid if Janine caught her, she’d been in big trouble.
“Why don’t you go over there and ask him to dance?” Lisa said from behind her.
“I can’t,” Hannah said, looking at the floor. She hadn’t told anyone, including Lisa, about Janine’s threats. And she didn’t want to tell anyone, either. She was scared enough as it was. She didn’t want to frighten anyone else.
“And why not?” Lisa was now wearing a smile. Hannah had to guess she worked things out with JC.
“Because I can’t.” Hannah decided that now was the best time to ask about her and JC. “You’re looking a lot happier than earlier this evening when you flat out refused to talk to JC.”
Lisa shrugged. “We talked things out and decided that it’s practically impossible for us to stay apart.” She pulled on the blue scarf around her neck.
Hannah’s jaw dropped. “I can’t believe it.”
Lisa waved at JC across the room. He was talking to Joey and he like Lisa was grinning. JC blew her a kiss.
Hannah secretly wished that she and Lance could be like that. But JC’s ex didn’t want Lisa’s head on a platter like Janine did.
Hannah had to remind herself that Lance didn’t have feelings for her. They were just friends.
“You look like you’ve been crying,” Lisa observed. “Something happen that I don’t know about?”
“Nothing worth talking about,” Hannah replied. She saw Janine across the room, glaring at her like she knew her secret. But there was no possible way she did, was there?
“It’s worth talking about if it’s gotten you upset,” Lisa said.
“I’m not upset,” she said, remembering how she told Lance her entire life story. She only felt closer to him, and that was a mistake. She never should have told him.
“Are you sure? You sure look upset.”
Janine was coming towards them now. She had a satisfied grin on her face and her hair was flowing in all different directions.
And Lance was no where to be found.
“Hannah.” Janine stopped in front of Hannah, her grin bigger than before. “Did you hear the great news?”
“What great news?” Lisa asked when Hannah refused to say anything. Hannah must have known what Janine was referring to. But it made no sense to Lisa. Why did Hannah look so sad when she said things were alright?
“Me and Lance are back together,” Janine said. “Isn’t that amazing? Who knew we would after all this time.”
“That’s great,” Hannah muttered.
Lisa looked from Hannah to Janine. Something fishy was going on around here, she thought.
“I told you it was a waste of time thinking that you had a chance with him,” Janine said. “Because you never did. And you never will.”
No, Lance wouldn’t get back with her. He had told her countless times that it wouldn’t happen. Even tonight when she had asked if he had a future with Janine, he had said no like it he would die before he got back with her.
That’s one reason why Hannah didn’t believe what Janine was saying. Another reason was because deep down, Hannah still had some hope that Lance had feelings for her. Though if anyone asked her, she would straight out deny that she herself had feelings for him.
“Why did you even consider me a threat in the first place?” Hannah said. “I told you that me and Lance are only friends.”
“I know how he’s been since we broke up,” Janine answered. “He’ll be with any woman, no matter what station she is.”
Hannah tried not to take that personally, but she knew that her and Lance’s relationship wasn’t like that. He wasn’t her friend because there was no one else. She knew he’d been with a few women on this boat, and that didn’t bother her. Well, she tried not to let it bother her.
It didn’t matter what Janine said. What Janine said didn’t matter to her. It was what Lance thought about her that she worried about.
Lisa stepped in, obviously hurt by the words spoken about her friend. “Are you trying to tell me that Lance is only friends with her because she’s in third class?” Lisa kept going even when Janine tried to object. Lisa was mad now, her hands down at her side, to keep from using them on Janine. “Are you trying to imply that he doesn’t care about her?”
“I’m saying it flat out,” Janine said.
Hannah was losing the battle, so she kept quiet. It was evident that if Janine and Lance were really back together, Janine wouldn’t let Hannah within a foot of him. It was over. She had lost without giving a fight. She was just going to let Janine have him.
“That’s stupid!” Lisa said. “Lance cares about her. Just ask Hannah. She can tell you…” She turned around to face Hannah, but Hannah was gone. JC was standing in her place. “Shit. Where did Hannah go?”
Janine popped an mushroom cap in her mouth and shrugged. Not like she cared anyway. Hannah was gone and from now on, Janine would make sure she stayed away from her and Lance.
Lisa turned to JC frantically. “Did you see where she went?”
“I saw her run out the doors a few minutes ago,” JC told her. “You guys want to let me in on why she looked so upset? I’ve never seen her like that before.”
“She’s upset because she knows Lance and I are back together. She just can’t accept that she lost him.” Janine looked around the room for Lance. He had disappeared a while ago, but she was sure he’d been back by now. He said he was only going to grab another drink.
JC cursed silently. “He wouldn’t get back together with you. He’s not stupid. He knows he can’t trust you. Nobody can.”
“He loves me!” Janine always hated how JC put her down all the time, like she wasn’t good enough. No matter what she tried, she could never please any of Lance’s friends. It was a losing battle. “So accept it, he loves me and we’re together!”
“Over my dead body,” JC muttered, and walked away with Lisa right beside him.
Neither of them could stand Janine. It was practically impossible to deal with her. JC just prayed it wasn’t true. That Lance hadn’t done something totally stupid.
Hannah looked out onto the water. It was nearly pitch dark out now, but she didn’t care. She was away from the noise, the crowds. These were the moments she loved best.
When she was alone, she was content. No one to count on, no one to trust. Just herself to depend on. That’s how her life was meant to be.
Hannah chewed on a cookie she had grabbed off the dessert cart on her way out of the lounge. She had been running so fast that she had almost tripped over her own feet.
It hurt a lot more than she cared to admit at the moment. Knowing Lance was back together with Janine wasn’t what bothered her. It was the fact that Janine had the nerve to rub it in her face. Janine knew how she’d react, and she had fallen right into Janine’s hands.
“Damn it.” Hannah rubbed her face and realized her hands were trembling. She had to let go of him. She had to. But how could she when she could think of nothing else lately but him?
She wanted to run away, but there was no place to run without being found. He would find her. He always did.
Lance saw her leaning against the railing. She looked like she was deep in thought. He didn’t want to ruin her thinking mode, but he had a lot on his mind and he had to talk to her.
“What you doing out here?” Lance walked up behind her. It was freezing outside and she didn’t even have a coat on. She was just wearing a dark blue sweater, with a very thin blue scarf around her neck. And her dark black fabric that were her pants looked too thin to be even called pants. “Do you know how cold it is? I’m freezing and I have a jacket on.”
“I’m fine,” she answered, not looking away from the water.
“Are you avoiding me?” he asked. “At the party, every time I looked at you, you would turn away from me. I kind of get the feeling that you’re upset at me or something.”
“Why would I be?” she snapped, not realizing how harsh her tone was.
“Okay.” Slowly, Lance stepped back. “What did I do to get you angry with me?”
Hannah replayed the image of Lance and Janine kissing heavily in the back area of the lounge earlier that night. She shook it away and forced herself to look at him.
“You said there was no future with her. You lied to me.”
“Who? What are you talking about?”
Hannah turned away from him again, this time focusing her attention on the couple cuddling on a bench a few feet away from them.
“You and Janine,” she said quietly. “I saw you earlier kissing, then you were dancing. Are you going to tell me that you’re not back together with her?”
“I won’t deny that I kissed her. And yes I danced with her. But no, we’re not back together.”
She nodded, but had to ask one more question. “Then why did she come over to me and brag about the fact that you were back together?”
Honestly, that didn’t surprise him that she had gone to Hannah to shove something like that in her face. Janine knew exactly how he felt about Hannah. The whole world probably would know if they looked at him.
He was head over heels in love as they come. The only way you couldn’t see was if you were blind. Obviously, Hannah was.
“She knows how I feel about you,” Lance said shyly.
Hannah looked at him, her eyes widened. “How you feel about me?”
“You know how I…” he stuttered, his words coming out as soft mumbles. “How I’m in love with you.”
Lisa was across the room, slow dancing with JC. It looked like they had worked things out. Her arms were around JC’s neck, and he was whispering something into her ear.
Hannah just wanted to get out of here. She didn’t think she could watch Lance for one more minute with that girl across the room.
He was dancing with Janine.
This stupid party was a waste of time, Hannah thought. She didn’t even want to be here. She had been quite happy wrapped up in Lance’s arms earlier. He had even kissed her, though it was just a few soft pecks on the cheek. To her, it was still a kiss.
She had opened up to him totally and completely. And he had listened, and he had cared. It was new side of Lance that Hannah had seen. The sensitive, emotional side. She wondered if anyone else knew how sensitive he really was.
Janine was running her hands over Lance’s back. Hannah wanted to throw something glass at her head.
Why was he dancing with her, anyway? He didn’t even like her. She had cheated on him. Hannah wanted to march over there and cut in, but then remembered the threats that kept her from doing what she wanted to do.
She just wanted Lance alone again. Hannah was starting to realize that that was never going to happen again. Tonight had been the one and only time that they would bond like that. Her heart felt like it was breaking piece by piece.
She had never loved anyone. After her parent’s deaths, she had promised herself that she would never trust anyone, never let anyone into her heart. But that had all changed on the poop deck, when Lance first approached her.
Forever, that memory would stay in her mind, probably remind her every so often what mistake she had made by not trusting him in the first place.
They were all hanging down in the lounge. Joey had gotten news about a huge party, and had told Chris, which lead to everybody else finding out. When Lance and Hannah were out walking on the boat deck after Lisa had come back from talking with JC, Justin had approached them and told them about the party.
At first Lance had refused, but Hannah could tell he really wanted to go. He missed his life, his partying lifestyle.
He was watching her now, out of the corner of his eye. Hannah was unaware of it and kept sipping on the punch, the bitter taste burning her tongue. She threw the cup away in the trash and looked around the room.
That’s when she caught Lance looking at her. But he was no longer dancing with Janine. Now he was grinding with some blonde that barely looked out of her teens.
Hannah took her gaze away from Lance, afraid if Janine caught her, she’d been in big trouble.
“Why don’t you go over there and ask him to dance?” Lisa said from behind her.
“I can’t,” Hannah said, looking at the floor. She hadn’t told anyone, including Lisa, about Janine’s threats. And she didn’t want to tell anyone, either. She was scared enough as it was. She didn’t want to frighten anyone else.
“And why not?” Lisa was now wearing a smile. Hannah had to guess she worked things out with JC.
“Because I can’t.” Hannah decided that now was the best time to ask about her and JC. “You’re looking a lot happier than earlier this evening when you flat out refused to talk to JC.”
Lisa shrugged. “We talked things out and decided that it’s practically impossible for us to stay apart.” She pulled on the blue scarf around her neck.
Hannah’s jaw dropped. “I can’t believe it.”
Lisa waved at JC across the room. He was talking to Joey and he like Lisa was grinning. JC blew her a kiss.
Hannah secretly wished that she and Lance could be like that. But JC’s ex didn’t want Lisa’s head on a platter like Janine did.
Hannah had to remind herself that Lance didn’t have feelings for her. They were just friends.
“You look like you’ve been crying,” Lisa observed. “Something happen that I don’t know about?”
“Nothing worth talking about,” Hannah replied. She saw Janine across the room, glaring at her like she knew her secret. But there was no possible way she did, was there?
“It’s worth talking about if it’s gotten you upset,” Lisa said.
“I’m not upset,” she said, remembering how she told Lance her entire life story. She only felt closer to him, and that was a mistake. She never should have told him.
“Are you sure? You sure look upset.”
Janine was coming towards them now. She had a satisfied grin on her face and her hair was flowing in all different directions.
And Lance was no where to be found.
“Hannah.” Janine stopped in front of Hannah, her grin bigger than before. “Did you hear the great news?”
“What great news?” Lisa asked when Hannah refused to say anything. Hannah must have known what Janine was referring to. But it made no sense to Lisa. Why did Hannah look so sad when she said things were alright?
“Me and Lance are back together,” Janine said. “Isn’t that amazing? Who knew we would after all this time.”
“That’s great,” Hannah muttered.
Lisa looked from Hannah to Janine. Something fishy was going on around here, she thought.
“I told you it was a waste of time thinking that you had a chance with him,” Janine said. “Because you never did. And you never will.”
No, Lance wouldn’t get back with her. He had told her countless times that it wouldn’t happen. Even tonight when she had asked if he had a future with Janine, he had said no like it he would die before he got back with her.
That’s one reason why Hannah didn’t believe what Janine was saying. Another reason was because deep down, Hannah still had some hope that Lance had feelings for her. Though if anyone asked her, she would straight out deny that she herself had feelings for him.
“Why did you even consider me a threat in the first place?” Hannah said. “I told you that me and Lance are only friends.”
“I know how he’s been since we broke up,” Janine answered. “He’ll be with any woman, no matter what station she is.”
Hannah tried not to take that personally, but she knew that her and Lance’s relationship wasn’t like that. He wasn’t her friend because there was no one else. She knew he’d been with a few women on this boat, and that didn’t bother her. Well, she tried not to let it bother her.
It didn’t matter what Janine said. What Janine said didn’t matter to her. It was what Lance thought about her that she worried about.
Lisa stepped in, obviously hurt by the words spoken about her friend. “Are you trying to tell me that Lance is only friends with her because she’s in third class?” Lisa kept going even when Janine tried to object. Lisa was mad now, her hands down at her side, to keep from using them on Janine. “Are you trying to imply that he doesn’t care about her?”
“I’m saying it flat out,” Janine said.
Hannah was losing the battle, so she kept quiet. It was evident that if Janine and Lance were really back together, Janine wouldn’t let Hannah within a foot of him. It was over. She had lost without giving a fight. She was just going to let Janine have him.
“That’s stupid!” Lisa said. “Lance cares about her. Just ask Hannah. She can tell you…” She turned around to face Hannah, but Hannah was gone. JC was standing in her place. “Shit. Where did Hannah go?”
Janine popped an mushroom cap in her mouth and shrugged. Not like she cared anyway. Hannah was gone and from now on, Janine would make sure she stayed away from her and Lance.
Lisa turned to JC frantically. “Did you see where she went?”
“I saw her run out the doors a few minutes ago,” JC told her. “You guys want to let me in on why she looked so upset? I’ve never seen her like that before.”
“She’s upset because she knows Lance and I are back together. She just can’t accept that she lost him.” Janine looked around the room for Lance. He had disappeared a while ago, but she was sure he’d been back by now. He said he was only going to grab another drink.
JC cursed silently. “He wouldn’t get back together with you. He’s not stupid. He knows he can’t trust you. Nobody can.”
“He loves me!” Janine always hated how JC put her down all the time, like she wasn’t good enough. No matter what she tried, she could never please any of Lance’s friends. It was a losing battle. “So accept it, he loves me and we’re together!”
“Over my dead body,” JC muttered, and walked away with Lisa right beside him.
Neither of them could stand Janine. It was practically impossible to deal with her. JC just prayed it wasn’t true. That Lance hadn’t done something totally stupid.
Hannah looked out onto the water. It was nearly pitch dark out now, but she didn’t care. She was away from the noise, the crowds. These were the moments she loved best.
When she was alone, she was content. No one to count on, no one to trust. Just herself to depend on. That’s how her life was meant to be.
Hannah chewed on a cookie she had grabbed off the dessert cart on her way out of the lounge. She had been running so fast that she had almost tripped over her own feet.
It hurt a lot more than she cared to admit at the moment. Knowing Lance was back together with Janine wasn’t what bothered her. It was the fact that Janine had the nerve to rub it in her face. Janine knew how she’d react, and she had fallen right into Janine’s hands.
“Damn it.” Hannah rubbed her face and realized her hands were trembling. She had to let go of him. She had to. But how could she when she could think of nothing else lately but him?
She wanted to run away, but there was no place to run without being found. He would find her. He always did.
Lance saw her leaning against the railing. She looked like she was deep in thought. He didn’t want to ruin her thinking mode, but he had a lot on his mind and he had to talk to her.
“What you doing out here?” Lance walked up behind her. It was freezing outside and she didn’t even have a coat on. She was just wearing a dark blue sweater, with a very thin blue scarf around her neck. And her dark black fabric that were her pants looked too thin to be even called pants. “Do you know how cold it is? I’m freezing and I have a jacket on.”
“I’m fine,” she answered, not looking away from the water.
“Are you avoiding me?” he asked. “At the party, every time I looked at you, you would turn away from me. I kind of get the feeling that you’re upset at me or something.”
“Why would I be?” she snapped, not realizing how harsh her tone was.
“Okay.” Slowly, Lance stepped back. “What did I do to get you angry with me?”
Hannah replayed the image of Lance and Janine kissing heavily in the back area of the lounge earlier that night. She shook it away and forced herself to look at him.
“You said there was no future with her. You lied to me.”
“Who? What are you talking about?”
Hannah turned away from him again, this time focusing her attention on the couple cuddling on a bench a few feet away from them.
“You and Janine,” she said quietly. “I saw you earlier kissing, then you were dancing. Are you going to tell me that you’re not back together with her?”
“I won’t deny that I kissed her. And yes I danced with her. But no, we’re not back together.”
She nodded, but had to ask one more question. “Then why did she come over to me and brag about the fact that you were back together?”
Honestly, that didn’t surprise him that she had gone to Hannah to shove something like that in her face. Janine knew exactly how he felt about Hannah. The whole world probably would know if they looked at him.
He was head over heels in love as they come. The only way you couldn’t see was if you were blind. Obviously, Hannah was.
“She knows how I feel about you,” Lance said shyly.
Hannah looked at him, her eyes widened. “How you feel about me?”
“You know how I…” he stuttered, his words coming out as soft mumbles. “How I’m in love with you.”