Welcome to the official [DCWL] Total Dementia review editorial;
produced fortnightly just like the show itself. And what a great time
to begin circulation. The December 27th event was more spectacular than
a Superbowl pre-game show, and had more hits that www.playboy.com.
Tonight we saw further development of the Maul-Ketch feud, additional
injury to Tawny Blake�s face, a win for Guido the Great and IDP, and
Skye Ashner check himself into hospital once again. 


The night opened with former IWL �great� JC Blake made an appearance,
fronting as the unofficial acting-commissioner, in place of the injured
JT Damon. Immediately he ranting about his up coming �match� with the
Two Dudes; a beer drinking contest � something we didn�t need reminding
of. But, just as he was to change the whole card for the show, he was
interrupted by JT Damon. Speaking via the large video screen, he told
Blake that his services weren�t needed, as he was fit and well in
hospital. Blake revealed that he wanted the commissionership, and there
wasn�t anything JT Damon could do about it. So Damon challenged then
Blake to a match at the up and coming pay-per-view: Winter Plunderland
(Shill). Blake just laughed at the bed-ridden man, and then accepted.
After some more banter, JT Damon revealed something to Blake; he wasn�t
in a hospital, he was in the locker room. As Blake pondered on the
inevitable, Damon came out and gave him a swift superkick to the jaw,
knocking the BadBoy down like a sack of potatoes. 


Disastrous Move Rating: Body Slam

Disastrous Quote: �Never underestimate the enemy.� 



We then saw a confrontation that could only be described as horrific,
between the agitated Capitol and a severely injured Skye Ashner. A
�merciful� Capitol attacked the cameraman first, cutting the live feed
to the rest of the world, leaving only the audio, before attacking the
Kyoto native. 


Disastrous Move Rating: Gut Wrench Powerbomb

Disastrous Quote: �What doesn�t kill you only makes you stronger.� 



Finally, the first match. An IWL great � General Ike D. Pentagon �
against a relative unknown � The Outlaw. Both men were making the debut
on DCWL TV, and while neither disappointed, I�m not going to make any
Grand Championship predications for either. After some early tension,
and reversing each others moves, IDP went on attack; a hanging suplex
that made the Outlaws face redder than a priest in a confession booth
with Bill Clinton. After a dumb cover, IDP went back on the attack and
almost lost the match when a big boot was reversed into a German
suplex. Desperation kick-out by IDP. The Outlaw went for glory again,
but this time was goosed by the veteran, and ate the majority of the
size 18 military boots. IDP quickly rose to his feet, and went for the
Atomic Bomb, which was reversed into a Vertical Splash Body Press, but
this was reversed into a sunset flip pinning position for the 3 count. 


Disastrous Move Rating: Belly-to-Back Suplex

Disastrous Quote: �Some climb the ladder to success, others use the
lift.� 



Like all federations, someone plays the supernatural angle, this time
it was Ash Bombay, who was being interviewed by the ever-annoying
Steven Francis. Bombay gave his opinion on the Vindicator (thanks), and
how he was going to win the DCWL Grand Championship (I doubt it).
Nothing abnormal there, but then Bombay asked Francis to join him in a
small prayer for the potty-mouthed (and sexy) Blaze Crimson � which
left Francis is a state of� zombiefication! (good lord!) Bombay told
Francis that he should visit Crimson and sort her out. 


Disastrous Move Rating: Hammerlock.

Disastrous Quote: �Some follow � Some Lead.� 



 Next was the Beer Drinking competition, which was between The Two
Dudes and JC Blake and his mystery opponent � BOREROCK! Under standard
American rules (are there any?). The �match� was going fine, the Two
Dudes having drunk their first beer, and Blake and Bedrock were filling
up their mugs. Then, in a sickening turn, Borerock gave the Two Dudes a
quick lesson in life � beer can be harmful � attacking them with no
warning. Bloodied, the Two dudes were subjected to a continued attack
from Bedrock, but were saved by the Tennessee native, Cousin Cletus. 


Disastrous Move Rating: Hammerlock (Still)

Disastrous Quote: �Beer can harm more than your liver.� 



Blaze Crimson (sexy!), is sitting!, when she is visited by a zombiefied
Steven Francis. Francis mutters something to himself that sounded like
he was reading a B-Grade horror script, and then rips away her blouse
forcefully. An angered Hollywood Panzerotti, runs backstage and knocks
down the feeble Francis, saving Crimson in a superhero fashion.  


Disastrous Move Rating: Gut Wrench Powerbomb (again)

Disastrous Quote: �There is a Superhero in all of us.� 



JT Damon then addresses the crowd about what is going to happen at
Winter Plunderland (shill). He announces that due to the earlier attack
by the Capitol, Skye Ashner will be allowed to wreak his revenge � in a
steel cage � at the ppv (shill!). So, to add some heat to the feud, the
two will meet in a tag team match, with Tawny Blake and Guido the
Great. All of the sudden �Alive� by POD blares, and a beaten Skye
Ashner makes another appearance, and announces that he won�t be doing
either, as he has been told by doctors that he can�t wrestler for four
weeks (but he�s still turning up to the shows?). His replacement �
General Ike D. Pentagon. IDP comes out from the behind the curtains and
rants on about how he has already beaten the Capitol in IWL, so he
doesn�t mind doing it again. Everyone cheers and the two leave. JT
Damon then begins to shill the match up of two IWL veterans, when he is
then attacked by JC Blake with a steel chair (thank you!). 


Disastrous Move Rating: Cradle Piledriver

Disastrous Quote: �Never underestimate the enemy - still.� 



In the ever-growing tradition of barely any wrestling on a show about
wrestlers, we see tape of Skye Ashner walking into the arena a few
hours before the event starts. Feeling mischievous, Ashner knocks on
the door of Guido the Great and runs off. He hides in a dressing room,
while the Italian answers the door in nothing but a shower cap (who
wears a shower cap when they have no hair?) and a pink towel (gay?).
Laughing to himself, he discovers that he is in Mistress Dandelion�s
dressing room, as the occupant is changing her attire. With a mouth
wider than the Grand Canyon, Ashner is amazed by the beauty of the
Florida native. The Mistress turns around, and is shocked by her
admirer, and tells him to leave. But then Guido the Great is making his
way to her dressing room, and with some puppy-dog eyes, Skye convinces
the Mistress to hide him. A disgruntled Guido Milano enters the room,
and is comforted by Mistress Dandelion, giving Ashner enough time to
leave the room. (Is it me or does this guy get around?) 


Disastrous Move Rating: Another Cradle Piledriver

Disastrous Quote: �Jack of all Trades � Master of None.� 



Finally, some wrestling! Here we saw Guido the Great take on a
vengeance-seeking Rex Creed, the man who Guido caused to have a heroin
overdoes weeks earlier. Guido the Great blabbered on about how he was
better than the junkie, and how he was going to show the world how
great he was, making sure the show reaches the two hour mark. A gallant
Creed took the upper hand in the beginning, pounding away on the
Italian�s face, but made the classic mistake of taking his eyes from
his opponent. As he paraded to the crowd (classic face mistake), Guido
slipped out of the ring (classic heel move), and regained his
composure. Creed immediately tried to go on the attack again, trying
for a plancha suicida, but met nothing but concrete (classic face
mistake), landing heavily on his knee in the process. It was then
elementary, as Guido the Great attacked the knee of his opponent, and
later made him submit via a figure-four-leglock (classic heel win). 


Disastrous Move Rating: Figure-Four-Leglock

Disastrous Quote: �Revenge is sweet � only when attained.� 



We then saw the debut of a WWA dud � Jeb. I really don�t want to focus
on this much, as I am trying to get rid of Jeb from my memory.
Basically, the former WWA champ (what were they thinking?) came out
saying he was the last WWA champ ever � which is b/s. He then said that
he would take on anyone and defend the belt successfully. He then
called out Bedrock � who was a midget dressed up a Fred Flintstone, and
pinned him to �retain� the title.  


Disastrous Move Rating: Sloppy Hammerlock

Disastrous Quote: �Euthanasia should be compulsory for some.� 



Surprisingly, another match! Tawny Blake � the DCWL Grand Champion �
taking on the monolith who is Jack Ketch. With a history between the
two longer than �Highway One�. A determined Blake began to attack
Ketch, but was swatted away like a fly, again and again (rest move!).
Jack then went for the Widow Maker, and pinned the champ in
controversial fashion. Although the referee gave a three count, Tawny
Blake�s leg was on the rope. So, as the match was beginning awarded to
Ketch, another referee ran down the ramp and informed all of what
happened � so that match went on. (why would they change titles heading
into the ppv?)  

Blake went on the immediate attack � with dropkicks and leg drops on
the big-man and then hit the Blake Bomb which was kicked out of at the
last moment (no sell!). Rex Creed then ran in to attack Ketch, but was
cut off by Cameron Williams, who is in turn attacked by Groond.
Williams is eventually thrown in to the ring by Creed and Groond, as a
sacrifice to Jack Ketch, and again, to add to the unearthly events that
could only happen in the DCWL, Ketch throws a fireball, which again
hits Tawny Blake in the face, instead of Cameron Williams. The match is
declared a no-contest. (yay!) 


Disastrous Move Rating: Jumping DDT 

Disastrous Quote: �A sign of things to come?.� 



As Ketch clears the ring of all other �debris�, an old foe makes an
appearance � MAUL! The two mammoths begin to exchange soupbones like
hungry dogs, and take their hostility outside the ring and backstage.
Through the backstage, they then make their way into an elevator, and
onto the roof (what are the odds?). Jack Ketch gives Maul the Widow
Maker onto the asphalt, and then tries to drop him off the roof, but he
is left balancing mercifully on the ledge instead (no sell!). A
charging Maul plus a ducking Ketch equals a flying Maul, who luckily (I
don�t think so) hangs from a small ledge below. Fear can be seen in
Mauls eyes, and in an act of mercy, Ketch begins to pull him up � only
to knee his foe in the face and send him crashing down to the ground
below (Who would have thought?). Everyone is speechless as Ketch
casually walks back to the elevator. 


Disastrous Move Rating: Sloppy Hammerlock reversed into a Super
Powerbomb. 

Disastrous Quote: �Nothing can get in the way of Hatred� 



My Opinion of the show: 2 � out of 5

Disastrous Move Rating: Pulling Piledriver
Overall Disastrous Quote: �A change can do good.�