CHAPTER 11

When Monica awoke to her alarm, she was disappointed to see that Alan's side of the bed had not been slept in. She thought progress had been made the previous night and that he would welcome the opportunity to sleep in his own bed. While getting ready for work and eating breakfast, she tried not to dwell on what might have changed his mind.

Determined to coax A.J. into eating, she arrived at the hospital early so that she could be with him when his breakfast was brought in. When Amy told her that breakfast had not been delivered and that A.J. was asleep, Monica decided not to wake him.

Curious as to why Alan had chosen to spend another night at the hospital, she headed for his office and discovered that he was asleep. She was about to wake him when she noticed a pill bottle, uncapped, on his desk. Checking the prescription, she noted the medication was hydrocodone and that Tony had issued it. She wondered why. The medication was from Alan's hand surgery, which had been months ago. Were these the pills that A.J. had been talking about? And why was Alan still taking them if he claimed his hand was fine? Alan stirred as Monica prepared for battle once again. It took him a moment to focus on Monica holding his pill bottle, but when he did, his heart sank.

"Morning, Alan," she said, ready to drill him for the truth.

"Monica, what are you doing here?" he asked, rising from the couch. He tried to sound indignant, but he did not impress her.

"I came here to ask why you didn't come home last night. I think I found the reason." She held up the uncapped pill bottle in plain view.

"It's a prescription, Monica. So what?" Alan replied, trying to cover his edginess.

"I find it very interesting that you have a prescription from Tony. He's not even your doctor. And why have you taken so many of these? What is going on, Alan?" Monica demanded, needing answers.

"It's my hand, Monica. I haven't wanted to tell you, but you have no idea how much pain I'm in. Why else would I be taking those pills?"

"Alan, this prescription, for fifty pills, is dated four days ago, and by my estimate, there may be ten pills left. Do you realize what that means? Do you even know how many pills you're taking a day?"

She shook the bottle at him. The pills rattled, calling to him.

Alan knew anything he said would sound like a lie because it would be a lie, but he was not about to admit anything.

"I'm waiting, Alan," Monica said, quickly losing her patience.

"You're upset, and it's obvious that you're not going to believe anything I say, so why should I bother?" He was stalling, and his wife knew it.

"You mean you can't think of a reasonable excuse, isn't that right, Alan?" Monica refused to let up.

"Damnit, Monica, what do you want from me?!" he shouted.

Alan's control was slipping. He wanted to grab the bottle out of Monica's hand and pop at least two pills right there. Damn, why hadn't he thought to hide some of his pills? He warned himself to hold on.

But Alan's irritability was not lost on Monica. "I want you to stop denying something's wrong and tell me what's going on!"

He was spared further grilling when Monica's beeper sounded. She checked and saw that it was the nurses' station on A.J.'s floor. She had asked them to page her when A.J. was awake.

"I need to respond to this," Monica told Alan. "But we are not finished."

"Is that a threat?" Alan asked, letting Monica know he didn't take kindly to her words.

"Yes, Alan, it is," Monica retorted, daring him.

"I'm sorry," he said, realizing he could not afford to alienate his wife further. "I shouldn't have said that."

"You're right, Alan. You shouldn't have."

She glared at him before turning to leave. Alan stopped her.

"What about my pills?" he asked, trying not to sound desperate.

"What about them?" she asked, exasperated.

"I want them back."

Monica looked at Alan as if he had grown another head. "No way. These pills stay in my possession until I get some answers from you. And I mean truthful ones, Alan."

She shook the bottle in front of him again for effect and then exited the room.

For the first time, Alan felt the walls begin to close around him. He realized he didn't know how to keep Monica from learning the truth. And without his pills, there was no way he could survive.


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