INSANE RAMBLING FROM A DISTURBED INDIVUDUAL
DIARY OF A TRAITOR
"It's okay to sleep with your co-star as long as her pussy doesn't smell like her butthole." -Charlie Sheen
Wisdom From Hollywood:
My American name is Scott, but my given name is Valdez Guttmannsdattir. Born to an American midwife and an Iranian-Jew immigrant, the great tap dancer/boxer Rubin Hurricane Carter was in the delivery room during my birth and he cut me free from my mother, which explains why I am such a great tap dancer and boxer.
And not that pussy Vegas/ Mike Tyson boxing, either. I'm talking about the '30's style boxing, where men died and even Charlie Chaplin (God rest his smutty soul) looked menacing in gloves.
My uncle, who is a Norseman, took care of me from the age of five, in Southern Oklahoma, where he sold cardboard boxes. He didn't speak English well, but he could explain the many uses of boxes. My heart goes out to him. I hope this has cleared things up with you.
Scott
A Little Background
Update 3/19/87 KEVIN BACON SUCKED DICK IN THE SUMMER OF '76
Do you people read books? I just finished reading "High and Low on the Summer Breeze: The Autobiography of Kevin Bacon". I must tell you, this is an inspiring read for actors and anyone interested in the craft of filmmaking. Not only do you get insight on Kevin's life, but he tells you his secrets on getting into the mind of a character.

Take for instance the chapter entitled "Kevin Bacon Sucked Dick in the Summer of '76". In 1976, he was preparing for his role in the Alan Rudolph film "Black Madusa". He played a young tennis player who is unsatisfied with the way his marriage to a young German woman is going so he takes off for a few weeks at a cozy sleep away camp in the Appalachians to regain his physical strength and to brush up on his tennis, to show his wife that he has the strength of her Aryan father.

But there is a twist to the story. Kevin's character, named Oscar, falls in love with the male tennis instructor, a 17 year old boy named Dennis Alen. The greatest character arc comes in the story when Oscar goes from morose and sullen at home to free and happy when he is sweating on the tennis court. He is secretly playing two different characters and in order to do so, Bacon had his 13 year old identical twin brother do all of his tennis scenes.

There is one crucial scene in the story where Oscar and Dennis make mad passionate love on top of a log down by the river. It is a riveting scene. What I like about it are the ambient sounds. The sound mixer used a simple tape recorder to capture the sound of the young actor (Chad Lowe) who playes Dennis sleeping. The sound of Dennis breathing plays very low in a continuous loop throughout the scene. It has the best sound mix since The Exorcist.

In order to prepare for the scene, Kevin did a little research. He stayed at a summer camp in Indiana for several months before shooting began and wrote his experiences down as notes to use on the set.

Here is a passage: "Bathed in blue light, Jimmy's come-hither legs spread open wide like the hungry mouth of a young starling in passion, ready to take in the fruits of it's mother's labor. As though his testicles were full of oxygen and I was suffocating, I took the entire length of his shaft into my mouth. His sweet seed had created in me a new life. I was reborn. Semen is the foundation of life and the life of Kevin Bacon, the man I was before, became something else."

And now I address the actors. Learn your craft well. Take these words and let them inspire you. You will be a better person.
Scott Is Currently:
Being A Whining Cunt In Limbo
MAIN
I met Ken Shamrock last summer when I was back in town. I was at a movie theater, waiting in line to see a big blockbuster motion picture, and there he was, KEN SHAMROCK!
He just came out of the bathroom and was wiping his hands on his sweatpants, wearing a Lion's Den shirt. I ran over to him and asked him for his autograph. I was wearing a white shirt and I just happened to be carrying a Sharpee marker I sniff when I get bored, and I handed the marker to him.
His face contorted into a rictus of anger and he snatched the pen right out of my hand, breaking two of my fingers. Then he signed my shirt really fast with a lot of sharp, jabbing motions which bruised my ribcage and broke my skin. Then he threw the marker as far as he could and it bounced away, never to be seen by human eyes, again.
Then he pushed me down and ran outside, where he jumped into his Humvee and drove it right over a brick wall, into the darkness and into the unknown. I looked down at my shirt and read what he wrote.
It said: FUCK YOU, KEN SHAMROCK.
Proudest day of my life.
Ken Shamrock Drives A Humvee.
Kenny                                  Says
FUCK YOU!!!!!
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