I was out on the town the other day, just driving around with my best friend in the whole wide world.
We were having a ball, smoking cigarettes and listening to Kylie Minogue, finding ourselves in the lyrics of "Come Into My World".
Life was great. Things couldn't be better. Then the sun disappeared behind a vault of clouds, and the world suddenly became a dark and forboding place.
The car's CD player spat out Kylie's sweet grooves, and the piercing wail of a tornado siren pierced the air.
Dear God!
A funnel cloud came barreling out of the sky just ahead of us, sweeping cars off the road like matchsticks.
Mother Nature's fury was felt by all this day. As the dark swirling finger of death bared down upon us, I thought we were done for. Then out of nowhere came...
Orange Crush.
That's right, Orange Crush swooped down from the heavens like some avenging angel and created a liquid shield of delicious Orange Crush soda around us, effectively a tasty tornado shelter erected around us by this Titan of Carbonated Beverages.
The twister dissipated when it hit the barrier of Crush, and our orange jumpsuit wearing benefactor took off in a storm of Orange rain, blanketing the city in his rainbow of fruit flavored harmony.
Yes, the day was saved and our lives once again had meaning, thanks to Orange Crush! |
