When Darkness Part Eleven

DANIEL�S POV

Everything about Darren is musical. His voice, his laughter�his impassioned moaning. All are music to my ears. Whimpers and little sighs of pleasure poured from his parted lips as my mouth traversed the skin of his neck. My hands roamed upwards to burrow under his clinging shirt and rove over his chest and stomach. Each touch of my hands on his body sent little tingles of electricity coursing though me; I�m sure he could feel the whispered electrical current, too.

It was a very powerful feeling to have this strong (willed) man melting at my touch and melt he did. Muscles that had been coiled tightly in knots loosened until he relaxed bonelessly in my arms. His head lolled back, exposing his neck to my questioning mouth. My roaming hands decided for themselves that the shirt was in the way and had to go. Slowly, painstakingly, I peeled him out of the tight black material. He moaned deeply as the cloth brushed roughly across his chest, and I smirked, carelessly dropping the shirt to the floor.

"Oh, Danny�" He turned in my arms then and one hand reached out for my chest to clutch at a handful of cloth. Darren�s face twisted in momentary confusion, as if he were surprised to find that I was still wearing a shirt. With deft, sure fingers, he gripped the hem of my t-shirt and, with a little help from me, he lifted it up and over my head. My shirt was discarded and forgotten a second later as Darren�s hands began exploring whatever bared skin they could find.

"I thought," Breathing was beginning to become difficult for me. "I thought that I�I was supposed to be worshipping�you�"

Darren smiled then, pausing in what he had been doing to lick his lips and say, "We�ll just call this a mutual admiration session, then. Okay?"

That sounded fine by me. It felt even better when he took the aggressive role again and began mapping my flesh with lips, tongue, and teeth. His touch was experimental yet hungry at the same time. He wasn�t merely feeling with his hands, he was "seeing" my body with them. Lost in the sensations that he was causing, I let my arms fail in support of my body, and collapsed to lie flat on the bed. Darren followed the movement, then shifted to cover my prone form with his body. It was a possessive gesture, one more symbolic than erotic�Absolutely amazing�

And it was a feeling that I didn�t get to enjoy for long.

Darren had only just begun to kiss and work his way down my body when I heard it�a sharp rapping at the door. At the unexpected sound, Darren visibly started, and on instinct we jumped a little away from each other.

"Darren? Daniel?" Leonie�s muffled voice called through the door before an impatient series of knocks pounded on the door once again.

With a sigh, Darren crawled off of me and I threw myself dejectedly back onto the bed, rolling my eyes, and shaking my head ruefully at the unfairness of fate. The pounding on the door continued, moving from impatient to irate, and finally I got up to answer it. Hoping that my displeasure showed somewhat on my normally calm and impassive face, and not caring in the slightest that I was still without shirt, I wrenched the door open. Leonie stood there, startled for a moment, hand raised in mid-knock. As she took in what I can only imagine was my disheveled and slightly pissed appearance, her mouth opened and closed a few times in a vain attempt to find words.

"Yes, Leonie?" My voice was deceptively cool. I have never been one for throwing temper tantrums�I usually left that behavior to the shirtless man sitting quietly in the bed�but I was sorely tempted to at least attempt a mild fit. Hell, if Darren could do it, then so could I!

For once the usually sharp-tongued Leonie was tongue-tied. "Oh�Daniel. I hope I�m not�well� interrupting anything, but�ah, I went and retrieved our baggage."

My irritation faded somewhat at the answer. She was being nice, and gathering Darren�s multitude of stuff, I�m sure, wasn�t an easy task; I couldn�t really want to inflict bodily harm on someone who was being nice. That didn�t mean I wasn�t thinking about it, though.

"Thank you, Leonie." I said moving into the hallway to take the first of many suitcases off of the cart she must have dragged up with her. "I trust you had no problems at the other hotel, then?"

She relaxed somewhat. "Relatively few. The police had pretty much gotten rid of the crowd, save for a few of the more determined, and the hotel was nice enough about the hassle�though they did threaten to charge extra for the transport of all the bags!" She gestured to the still overflowing cart.

"Do you have any idea what is in which suitcase?" I asked, thinking about what a mess we�d left to be packed. A tug on my arm had me turning to see Darren standing next to me, wanting me to hand him the suitcases I was holding. I handed them over then picked up two more.

"Not a clue," Leonie replied, surveying the luggage in question. "I�m just relieved that the hotel staff managed to fit all of your belongings back in them!"

"My belongings?" I repeated. "Oh, don�t look at me. Talk to Diva boy over here!"

Darren, who was in the process of taking another bag from my hands, leaned over to whisper in a sing-song manner, "Keep it up, Danny. You�re about to land yourself back into hot water before you�ve even fully gotten out of it�"

Unabashed, I grinned and took the last of the suitcases from Leonie�s hands. "Hey, I�m telling the truth, here. You can�t get pissy with me for speaking the truth!"

"Oh, can�t I?"

My laughter caught in my throat. Though his voice dripped with challenge and pure disdain, that wasn�t what had gotten to me. As he spoke, though his eyes remained slightly squinted and unfocused, he quirked his eyebrow and for a second the expression looked normal. It looked as if he were staring right at me, rebuking the humor he�d seen in my face. But a moment later, the eyebrow came back down, both eyes squinted again, and the glass-like doll expression was back. I sighed heavily.

"Danny? What�s wrong?" The worry was clear in Darren�s voice, and in the way his mouth was pulled into a tight line, even if his eyes were vacant.

"Nothing, Daz. Don�t worry about it, love." I turned to thank Leonie, but she waved my words away as her cell phone rang, shrilly. With another wave, this one of goodbye, she headed off down the hall chatting with the phone in one hand, and pulling the cart behind her with the other. That woman�she was absolutely mad�

Shaking my head slightly, I closed the door then turned to pick up the last two remaining bags, only to find that they were no longer at my feet where I had put them. Glancing up, I saw Darren�s retreating form stumbling across the room, both suitcases it tow. It took some effort on his part to shuffle across the carpet trying to find his way with no real guidance and both hands full, but he managed. He found the bed by bumping into it, then deposited the suitcases on top of it and the other three bags, one duffel, and guitar case that were already there. I joined him by the bed and peered down at the luggage that now covered up most of the gaudily-patterned duvet.

"Should we look through it all, do you think? See if anything is missing, and all that?" I asked, while still surveying the pile.

Darren made a self-deprecating snort at this and replied, "You can, probably. But it�s not like I would have the faintest clue if anything were missing." He made a broad sweeping motion at the bed, which sent two of the bags toppling to the floor with a crash. We simultaneously cringed at the noise.

"Oh, great�" Darren huffed. "Now I�m going to get us kicked out of this place for making a damned racket!" Though his words seemed merely cynical, his posture told a deeper story.

Uh-oh folks, we�ve had a mood swing� my mind chanted as I watched Darren closely. The hunched line of his back and shoulders radiated tension, his hands were clenched by his sides in white-knuckled fists, his eyes were tightly shut, brow furrowed, teeth clenched together almost as tightly as his hands. He looked as if he were struggling to keep all of his emotions reigned in, something he rarely attempted and was never successful with.

Wordlessly I crossed the distance between us to wrap my arms around his still-bare torso and pull his warm back against my equally warm chest. He let out a shaky breath, then began shuddering. The shuddering continued, until he seemed almost to collapse in on himself, sagging in my grip. With effort, I managed to lower us both into a sitting position on the floor beside the bed, and could only hold him tighter as the shuddering turned into gasping sobs. He cried; his tears were tears of today�s fear, anger, and pain. They were tears of pent-up frustration, exhaustion, and so many other out of control emotions. He leaned into me and slowly voiced all his feelings of helplessness in the form of uncontrollable sobbing. I held on tighter with each shuddering breath, sharing in his pain, but unable to do anything to stop it.

I could feel the tears building in me as I held him, but they refused to fall. In a way, that hurt more than actually crying would have. But, though no evidence of grief trailed down my face, I was crying silently inside; crying along with him, crying for him.

I cried for me, too, for us, because I had never planned for this scenario in any of my imaginings. I�ve always been one to map out my life carefully; I never truly harbored any doubt that Darren and I were meant to be together someday (fears and worries, yes, but never real doubt), just as I knew for certain that we would make it big as a band. Those things I planned for, expected. It doesn�t mean that I was really prepared for them to happen when they eventually did, but I wasn�t completely surprised by either event.

Darren�s condition though, and the subsequent pain that went along with it, I wasn�t prepared for in the slightest. And that is what hurt me the most�I loved him with everything in me, and it was causing me pain. I couldn�t help him and it was causing me pain. He was in pain, and that was causing me pain�

As I held him and shared in his distress, there was one thing, one thought that I knew for certain�despite the pain--or maybe in spite of it--I wouldn�t give him up for anything. I clutched Darren�s still-shaking body to my heart. I loved him, and if love sometimes meant pain, so be it. He was more than worth it�

TBC