Making Up

�Have you gotten what you wanted, Darren?� Daniel asked.� Now that Darren was here, the guitarist was going to get some answers.

Darren ducked his head, unable to meet Daniel�s eyes.� �Not really,� he answered softly.� Daniel waited for the singer to say more, but it appeared Darren was tongue-tied.� This really startled Daniel.� He couldn�t remember the last time he�d seen Darren at a loss for words.

�Darren?� he prompted.

�Yeah,� Darren said, shaking his head to dislodge whatever thoughts were occupying him.� �No, I�m not really happy with the way things turned out.� It certainly wasn�t what I expected.� Sure, I have my album.� And it�s a success.� Sort of.�� Darren shrugged.

�It was fun to make.� I really enjoyed creating it.� And Walter was great to work with.� It�s just� there was something missing, you know?� Walter and I worked well together, but I had to explain everything I wanted to him.� He doesn�t understand me the way you did.�� Here Darren looked up and smiled at Daniel. ��I guess you spoiled me, huh?�

Daniel wasn�t sure how to respond to that, so he said nothing.� Darren waited for a moment, then sighed and continued.

�I guess what�s really bothering me is what happened to us.� That�s why I came here.� The way things ended between us was just wrong.� I miss you, Dan.� I miss being able to create music with you.� I miss you understanding what I want to say before I can say it.� I miss having you for a friend.� I don�t want almost nine years of friendship to just disappear, I guess.�

Darren stopped then, his wide blue eyes searching Daniel�s face for some sign.� Daniel�s face, however, was unreadable.� Darren sighed quietly.� That was yet another sign of the distance between them.� There was a time not so long ago that he could have read every emotion on the guitarist�s face.� Well, I guess I�m just going to have to wait until he decides to talk to me.� Hope it doesn�t take him as long as it usually does, Darren thought with a small grin.� Luckily for Darren�s peace of mind, it didn�t take Daniel long to respond.

�Darren, I didn�t want our partnership, or our friendship, to end the way it did.� Need I remind you whose idea it was to publicly announce Savage Garden�s breakup without consulting the other half of Savage Garden?� Daniel asked angrily.

�And need I remind you just who left me to do all the promoting Savage Garden needed to be successful?� Darren asked, his hackles rising.

�You said you�d do it.�� Daniel�s voice was rising dangerously.

�Only because that was the only way I could get you to stay.� We already had the goddamned tour booked, and you were just going to run out on me!�

�Oh, come on.� Don�t tell me you didn�t like being the only one in the spotlight,� Daniel sneered.

�No!� I hated it!� Do you have any idea of how hard it was to go to all of those things without you?� To constantly be asked where you were at every interview?� To make sure that everyone understood that Savage Garden was a partnership, Darren and Daniel, not just Darren?� It was miserable.� And stressful.�

�Uh-uh.� And do you dislike being the only one in the spotlight now?�

�I didn�t say that,� Darren said, his voice softening slightly.� �I�ve always liked being the center of attention, Dan.� You know that.� But it�s easier now.� I�m not one person trying to promote two.� I only have to speak for me.� It makes things much simpler.�

�So you didn�t like promoting for us, but promoting for you is ok, huh?�

�God, Daniel, stop twisting my words!� I loved promoting for our first tour.� I just hated it the second tour.� It was like I�d already gone solo, but I was still chained to Savage Garden.� We were supposed to be partners, but it became evident with every interview without you that we weren�t anymore.�

�You felt chained to Savage Garden?� Daniel asked, a bit of hurt coloring his voice.

�Are you honestly going to tell me you didn�t?� Darren questioned with a raised eyebrow.� �I know you did.� We just felt chained for different reasons.� You didn�t like the spotlight, the intrusion of privacy, and all the other trappings that come with stardom.� I didn�t like being pigeonholed into a musical partnership that was obviously failing.� You can�t really be a band when the two members� goals are so radically different.�

�Which is, of course, why you decided to inform the world of Savage Garden�s demise before me, right?�

Darren bit his lip and blushed.� �About that� I�m really sorry, Daniel.� I did not intend for that to happen the way it did.� I realize I should have talked to you before I talked to Adams, but it was late and I was just talking.� I wasn�t watching what I was saying the way I should have been.� And then he promised me he was going to keep it quiet for two weeks.� I honestly was going to call you that morning and ask whether I could fly down so that we could talk.� I would never have deliberately betrayed you like that, Daniel, no matter what was going on between us.� Please believe me.� I am truly sorry.�

Daniel looked into Darren�s earnest blue eyes and saw the guilt and sorrow there.� He knew Darren had felt bad at the time the incident had occurred� even with all the distance between them at that point, he could tell from Darren�s tone of voice on the phone that it wasn�t what he had wanted to happen.� But before now, Darren had never directly apologized for it.� Daniel felt the lingering traces of anger disappear under the force of that sapphire gaze.� He wanted to tell Darren that it would be all right, but there were still some things left unsaid between them.� For the first time, Daniel showed signs of nervousness.� Darren waited quietly for whatever response Daniel was going to give him.� There was a certain air of resignation about him, as if he would accept whatever Daniel said and do whatever Daniel wanted him to do.� Conscious of this, Daniel took care in wording his next question.

�The one thing I still don�t understand is why, Darren.� Why did you have to give up Savage Garden?� Why did it have to be either/or?�

�It just had to be,� Darren said, shrugging and looking down.� �I�ve never been one to do things halfway.� To me, being a part of Savage Garden and attempting a solo career would be doing just that.� I wouldn�t really be a solo artist, but I wouldn�t really be part of a band if we weren�t making new music, either.� I couldn�t live with a foot in both worlds, Daniel.

�I couldn�t just do nothing for those years when I was waiting for you to decide whether you wanted to tour or not.� And if I tried to go solo when I was still a part of Savage Garden� I mean, how many people have had successful careers as solo artists while still attached to a successful band?� I didn�t want to be �that singer from Savage Garden,� although I�m not completely sure I managed to avoid that.�� Darren made a face, and Daniel laughed.� At the sound, Darren�s eyes snapped back up to Daniel�s face.� When Daniel continued smiling, Darren returned a lopsided smile.� Then he grew serious again.

�And, Daniel, do you honestly think you ever would have been ready to tour again?�

Now it was Daniel�s turn to look down.� He didn�t respond for a long moment.� Then, slowly, he shook his head �no.�� Darren sighed.

�I didn�t think so.� I think I knew that from the moment you had that breakdown in Japan.� As cruel as this sounds, I didn�t want to wait around for something that would never happen.� So I broke all the ties before anything else had the chance to.� But, Danny,� here Darren placed a hand lightly on Daniel�s.� This turned Daniel�s head back up to meet Darren�s gaze, and the singer turned the full force of his blue eyes on his once-partner.� �Even if I went about it the wrong way, I had to do it.� Do you see what I mean?� Can you understand where I�m coming from, now?�

Daniel stared first into Darren�s pleading blue eyes and then at the singer�s hand where it covered his own.� This was a surprise.� He had never actually expected Darren to apologize.� And he did understand why Darren had acted that way, even if he didn�t like it.� I guess it�s stupid to hold a grudge about this, especially when Darren took the time to explain, Daniel thought.� And� I don�t really want to still be mad.� I missed him.� Daniel smiled, a small smile but genuine, and met Darren�s eyes again.

�Yeah, I see what you mean.� I understand.� And� I�m sorry, too.�

Darren looked up, surprise and happiness warring for dominance on his face.� �So� things are ok?�

�Yeah, Dare, things are ok.�

�And we can go back to being friends?�

�Of course we can.�

Darren literally bounced out of the sofa and into Daniel, wrapping his arms around Daniel�s chest and squeezing tightly.� Surprised, Daniel hesitated a moment before returning the hug, closing his eyes briefly.� This one embrace had the power to bring back all the memories of the good times with Darren.� Daniel tightened the hug for a moment, feeling a lump form in his throat.� He hadn�t realized exactly how much he�d missed Darren until right then.� Darren held him close for a second more, then broke away, his eyes suspiciously bright.

�I�m so glad.� You have no idea.� I was seriously afraid you were going to slam the door in my face this afternoon,� Darren related with a shaky laugh.

�I think I have an idea of how glad you are� I missed you, too, you know!� Daniel laughingly protested.� �And the thought of shutting you out did cross my mind, but I was too curious to hear what you were standing out there for.� Now I�m very grateful I didn�t.�

�Me, too!� I don�t think my ego would have survived such a blow,� Darren teased.

Daniel gave a shout of laughter, and Darren�s ringing laugh followed.� The two men smiled at each other for a moment, and then Daniel opened his mouth.� Darren was never to find out what Daniel was about to say, however, because the door opening interrupted the men.� Kathleen walked in, laying her keys on the table by the door and glancing curiously at Darren�s, which were also occupying that spot.� She peered into the living room and stopped short when she saw Darren there.

�Darren?� she asked.

�Hi, Kathleen,� he responded with a little wave.

�Hi,� she answered hesitantly.� �Um, not to be rude or anything, but shouldn�t you be on tour?�

Daniel snorted with laughter.� �Yeah, that�s what I asked him, too.�

�I had a few days off, and I decided to come down here.� There were some things I had to do.�� Here Darren smiled at Daniel, who returned the smile.� This exchange did not escape Kathleen�s notice.

�And did you get them taken care of?� she inquired.

�Yeah,� said Darren, a note of satisfaction in his voice.� �Yeah, I did.�

�Good.�� Kathleen looked at Daniel, a searching look.� Whatever she saw there must have made up her mind.� �Well, I�ve been needing to get to the store for a long time now.� We�re out of almost everything.� How about I pick up something special for dinner, and you can eat with us tonight, Darren?�

Darren glanced at Daniel, who smiled and nodded.� He turned back to Kathleen, a brilliant smile on his face.

�I�d love that, thanks.�

�All right, then.� I�ll be back in a few, ok?�

Kathleen turned to leave, but Daniel caught up with her in the entryway.

�Hey,� he said, stopping her with a hand on her arm.� �Thanks.�

�No problem.� I�m just glad you and Darren got things worked out between you two.� You did get them worked out, right?�

�Yeah, we did.�

�Good.� I know how much that was bothering you.� I�m just happy it all worked out.�

She leaned up and pressed a kiss to Daniel�s cheek, then playfully swatted his hand off her arm.

�Now, if you want dinner any time soon, you�re gonna have to let me go.�

�Go, then!� Daniel said, responding with an equally playful shove.� �I�m starving!�

Kathleen�s laugh was the last thing Daniel heard before she shut the door firmly behind her.� Daniel smiled happily and turned towards the living room again.� He and Darren had a lot to catch up on, and he couldn�t wait to start.